maybe you shouldn’t have loved me like the stars were inconsequential that night
maybe I should’ve let you worship me among the stars
taking breaths to account for all the specks of wonder and sheer depth of beauty that the stars
and i failed to see
maybe i should’ve loved me
like the stars
incalculable in its’ glory

sometimes
it is learning how to hold the days that are so full of unabashed smiles
with the ones where you can’t breathe between tears
holding both with open palms
and the simple fact that
all things end

god I hope you kiss me
like that song
you know the one
the one your thinking of right now
yes you

the one you already can hear
with a little smile

and maybe one or three very good memories

he looked at me
and asked what I was hiding from

and it’s hard to wrap 74 layers of grief into a 5 word answer

so i smile
and give a little shrug

letting go of his hand

for the last time

love is embarrassing
WELL IT SHOULD BE
do the thing
say the thing
realize that person might not be right for you
but try anyways
to learn their soul and
awkwardly stare at each other
kissing in the street
and laughing trying to make it work
as you both start
tipp—-ing
over

as lips meet teeth
and laughter rings through the street at 10:42

your hand
it slipped from mine
and in that moment, the music got dull
slowing down to a sickening pace
Distortion clouding my judgement
or maybe just my ears

the days came and went
and I suppose it’s not all that different
I’ll be your friend once more
with hands in my pockets

delusions and distortion— no more

it was funny
how everyone else could see our love
before us
how my nicknames seemed to ooze transfixion
and your immediate responses seemed to confirm everything our bodies were saying  
like we weren’t two kids
who years ago
laughed at the thought of it
it being us
but you never denied or rebuked
I realize all those years ago
and I wonder

maybe it just was me who couldn’t see it
all along