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Caitlyn Jan 2017
Brown eyes, tinted green.
You haunted me in my dreams.
With freckles splashed across from cheek to cheek,
You made me feel less like a freak.
The smile that hung from your lips,
It didn’t match your hips.
The darkness behind the curtain in your eyes, were the reason for the soundless cries.
The glimmer of hope and joy around me, I knew I had the key.
I fell 6 feet under, in your arms I plundered.
Walls that I broke down,you looked at me with a frown.
You felt small, the moment you let them fall.
You trusted me, as I, you.
Then the shame I felt with myself, with the my heart’s growing welt,
The moment you left, you acted as a theft, walking out with my beating heart.
Memories of us, the good and bad.
You were all I had.
The only word left to describe the beautiful you; gone.
And I am still a pawn, in the evil game of life, alone.
Caitlyn Mar 2017
You are a diamond
Surrounded by dirt of all angles
A diamond in a world
So full of thieves
You shine so bright
In the dullest of light
You are a diamond worth more words than a picture
Caitlyn Jan 2017
Good enough or never enough
They eat us alive, pick at our carcass
Until there is nothing left.
Hearts dissolved from dangerous chemicals.
Poison in our lungs, huge clouds engulfing.
Needles in our arms and powder on our noses.
Metal against the skin, liquid dripping
Anything to take away the pain
Of never being good enough,
Bending over porcelain,
Last night’s dinner is gone.
Shaky with a wet face,
Buried in a blanket, trying to forget,
All the torment from our thoughts.
Sticks and stones become our body,
Brains leave from one ear out the other,
On top of a roof, ready to jump.
Anything to take away the pain,
Of never being good enough,
One final drink, with twenty little oval snacks,
A final toast,
Here’s to never being good enough.
Caitlyn Jan 2017
Turn up the music, close the door, grab a blade.
Just one more time, you say?
We've sat there and we've prayed.
We’ve prayed to God, but no, he’s not there.
He’s not real, if he was, why would you be in pain?
The scars on our skin hold stories.
Stories untold, stories so deep.
Stories no one knows.
We’ve dug ourselves into a hole;  A hole we can’t leave.
Our chest tightens and tears fall.
The metal digging beneath into our wrists.
It’s our only plea for help, but nobody listens.
The struggles that have taken home in our souls.
“You’re not alone” is a small tell-tale lie.
Don’t come to me with remorse, when the one in dark is knocking on my door.
The only last words I've come to know?
“I’m sorry I don’t fit in your ****** up little world.”
Caitlyn May 2017
We were lying in bed, limbs all tangled.
You were staring in my eyes, yours filled with water.
You told me no more, you didn't want to hide.
I said okay.
I should have fought.
We were laying in bed, our lips were mingled.
Your fingers traced my skin.
You told me we should stop.
I said nothing.
I should have begged.
We were laying in bed, our hearts were one.
Your arms held me tight.
You told me you should go.
I said please don't.
We were laying in bed, our bodies shattered.
You told me it was over, you were tired of pretending to be who you weren't.
I was lying in bed, alone.

— The End —