Born from fire and coal
You break bones with fists of stone
Your eyes are rubies
in a face of smoke
You visit
****** white daisies
and wither them to husks,
petals scattered among ash.
I was a flower once.
Delicate and small
White as innocence should be,
I stood tall.
Your fires came,
slowly at first,
the flames so warm-
I wanted to burn.
You became a forest fire in my vision,
blurring everything else.
Your flaming fingers
plucking my petals
one by one.
I was no different.
No one will be,
Because fire destroys,
And salvation was
lost
on
you.

i am church
poetry is church
sin is church
art is church
blood is church
lust is church
little girls selling lemonade is church
sundays are church
mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays, fridays
saturdays too.
church isn't a place
it isn't anything
but everything
and god sees all

adolescence fit him like
hand me down sweaters
with missing buttons
he was always meant
to not fit
into it.
he watched
her graceless fingers
lace up the battered boots
that rose past her calves.
his eyes hugged the curves
her legs like snaking highways
in hot arizona summers
heat lightening
in his heart.
they all knew the sweaters wouldn't fit.
maybe he knew it too.
because the taste of her was
like holy water
and the child he never knew

i took a bath in chemicals
making love in dark rooms
while polarized pictures
developed under naked wrists
our bodies
became film strips
projected on grainy screens
scratches
looping in on ourselves

burning white metal
your touch scorches my skin
it feels so good
to not be numb,
your lips are a wound
running

you saw her draped in scarves
so bold,
flapping around her supple figure,
you got glances in-between
of velvet skin,
soft freckles
flitting,
a bird of paradise
is what she is.
exotic
and
free
but you saw her hips
sway
and you thought of closing
your hands
over bone;
of pulling her down
underneath
your groin.
not
a
person at all
she seemed
to you
but
a body
meant to pleasure you.

this is me being
angry
bitter
appalled
and disgusted with
humanity
men give children
guns
before they
learn the alphabet,
they're learning
how to put a bullet
into someone's
head.
They'll learn about the
color red
because their skin will be splattered
with it.
little children
with needles shoved up their arms
a drug for the mind
making the killing no harm
brain wash brain wash
that's all
young minds
are so impressionable
they don't ask why
"why did i **** my mommy
why did i watch my family die?"
so many of us
don't know
we just don't know

Diamonds do not shine bright
like Rhianna claims
Instead they glow red
with the blood of the victims
sacrificed
for wedding rings
Because what's a life compared to big
expensive rocks, right?

pretend my
naked body
is a flower
you wouldn't
crush

wait for me

ive gone away

to some unknown place

purple night dims dark
for me

have i lost my humanity?

"here, take this pill," you say
"it'll make you better"

but pills get lodged in my
throat
tonsils swollen

i choke i choke
on
purple nights

wait for me
thats all i ask

so we can go together
down unlit paths

Every night we count the stars,
then you count my eyes.

I am winter.
You are Spring.
And you melt me.

standing on the love-lock bridge in paris
i felt the hope secured in each metal contraption
thousands upon thousands
every link of fence occupied
sharpie and custom prints
revealing the names of lovers,
dates
some present, some new
a timeline of love
efforts to have
some minute, impossible
control over fate
thinking lifeless objects
and cast away keys
will keep people together

i see the matchbox girl
dressed in rags
skin transparent
veins so blue
and you're curled
unceremoniously
between heavy linens

it was achingly beautiful
when you cut off all your hair,
letting curl upon ebony curl
drift to rest at your feet
the sun never shone
brighter atop your head
i still dream of the angles
of cheeks and knuckles
all blurring together
a cave exists under my sheets
sometimes i can see the hollowness
in a voice
echoing and echoing and echoing
till morning
but by then
such loveliness
had disappeared

dusk;
it shrouds the
evening in mist-
a cloaked figure
carrying a message
that will send a mother's
heart rocking.
the smell of eggs
smelling them sunny side up
some comfort in the
familiarity
of a kitchen and a stove
i'll always remember
the moon licked grove
with white rotted
wood being taken back by the earth
and how your eyes lingered there
in ivy and tendrils so green
you looked sad
a rare sadness,
one that comes with great knowing
we never spoke
we never speak
between the long slabs of
concrete that conjoin
the towns we've shut up inside
closing with a dead man's eyes
how did it get this way;
my lungs decayed,
puffing up dust like an ancient tome

I fall in love with words; i die by the blade of words
their sharp enunciation's slicing through layers
of extraneous flesh.

There is no greater death than that done by
the seductive curvature of letters
or the eloquence of speech.
Words create the materials, the inspiration to love
to share your histories and overlap your stories.
It is with words that we can truly see.

generation of can't
generation of hate
blundering those who
get in their way
go on if you must,
hide your face
lock your doors up tight
the years will drag slowly by
and there
outside
we won't recognize

we wanted to buy a house
with an oceanfront view
so we could lounge
on our wrap around
porch
and listen to the seagulls.
that was before
fragile hope was
cast away
and dashed against rocks,
sinking beneath waves.

and you taught me heartache


a lesson i was bound to learn
you so aptly delivered the lecture;
that i could never be the same

i refrain from sharp objects
because i remember the pain
SHARP THINGS 101
came after your class of
DEPLETED LOVE

what they never tell you
in school
is how scars look
when they've faded
in the right light
it glows under translucent skin
a test i excelled in.

I want to know you
through rainstorms
and starvation
See you with eyes strained
and drained
of sleep
To feel you
with senses
that have yet to awaken
I want you to see
my reflection
and reach through
the glass.

Kisses in the kitchen
Burning like an oven
Passion pre-heated
appliances beeping
Hold me tightly
until the kettle
steams
and then we may sit,
and enjoy a cup of tea.

You hold the universe
inside your eyes
Constellations dancing
around the solar system
hearts beating
pinpricks of light
faster than sound waves
carried quietly
through tunnels of
asteroids
drifting hunks of feelings
we've forgotten
Stranded in space
between the wrinkles of time
This fabric of your love
unfolds in ripples
Showering our heads in meteorite
dust
But how we glimmer
defying gravity
we'll meet again
along the northern lights
when the wind kicks in
our cheeks still sun-kissed
Bodies shattering,
arms and legs
pave the milky way,
Explore with me my love,
ride the tails of comets
into the horizons
that exist
only for us

street lights laughing
street lights passing
hooking the contents of a baked
beans can
with our fingers
grubby
Scavengers
like vultures
heads bald, pink, and splotched
winter months we clamber
inside pockets
and rest on shoulder shelves
it's when the sun dips down
we yawn through exhaustion
put away old vices
and sleep
just sleep
like weary vagabonds
jumping the night trains
for a span of
uninterrupted shadows

we're just a tangle of limbs,
skin and teeth
sinking our fangs
in whatever
escape we can get our hands on
******* all the experience
of drug dazed lust
and nights veiled in smoky dust,
car windows broken open,
the glass embedding into
our dreams
a mosaic of the world opening up,
sliding down it's throat
as the wind whispers secrets into our hair
and we flick the ashes of cigarettes
over and over
awkwardly holding them between fingers,
pretending to know how to smoke
professionally
all the innocent pretend to be *****
until one day it's just there
the shirt fits
and you forget
how to skip backwards,
chalk staining knee caps
we're done
quite done.

I looked upon this boy
a stranger that I'll never know,
and i had an emotion so strong,
it flashed like a star against my vision;
white hot and blinding
my veins searing
every inch
filled with a new passion
I wanted him to see me
to look on me with more than
just eyes
more than the simple sight
of a friendly passerby on the street-
but to really look at me
study every angle of my face,
the curve of my lips
as they unfold like falling petals.
I wanted to be the inspiration of a painting
he'll create one day,
edges all soft and blurred
colors calm and fleeting
like the single moment we had,
knowing everything
and nothing

I've opened my chest up
so many times
a floodgate of feeling
rushing rushing.

I fear all that's left
are tiny droplets;
that sometimes drip
when you grasp my hands.

I wish I could have held it all in,
so I'd have more to give.

I hold a longing in my throat
it aches and sears as i try to choke it down

clogged like a pipe
my breathing slows

have you ever wanted something so badly,
that you just forget everything else?

Forget the way small fingers feel wrapped in your hands-
the gift that keeps on giving
Forget the black plague that his lies fed into my bloodstream;
I even sometimes forget the reason for living

You see
I'm blinded by this lust
to fit in
to find a place warm with belonging
But I can't forget
what is important

How your palms cup me softly
when the world is damp-
make me realize
that all along
I had somewhere.

smoke curls
like a mother's soft hand
forming gently against
infant bodies

straddle death
make it laugh
make the reaper
cease to reap
dig up the grave yards
the stones decay
because today our lives
will flourish
our hearts will not
rot
inside our chests
i've told my ghosts
to move on by
because
i
i am alive

Jake
I loved you
you were my first;
for everything.
I loved you blindly;
obsessively
and it wasn't healthy
like how a moth is drawn to light
their fated demise
i came too close
so i perished into ash

William
you were
the "good guy'
charming with that smile
and doleful eyes
you had everyone bowing at your feet;
everyone but me
i wanted to give you a shot;
really i did
but that was a time when i was
so far lost
like in the midst of a forest
the gas in my car
depleted
i know i hurt you
i knew i couldn't feel all along;
but you were just another
boy
who wanted a place to rest his *****.

Joey
I held a flame for you through the
days of chopped hair
and child-like physique
you only paid attention
when i had grown
into what i was meant to be
i had fun with you-
a summer fling
but when the leaves began to change;
just like them
my feelings blew away

Bradley
what's the point
you were a pompous ***
and I was an equation
you couldn't compute

But Alex
yes Alex
you are the gentle hands that carry
me through the moments
through the seasons
through the changes
your sweet demeanor and faith
never wavering
every morning i hear your songs
and i've forgotten about all the ones
who didn't make it.

mouth wide open
face upturned
god smiles down on you-
i know this because
of the way the light filters
through the clouds
just right
into the pools of your eyes;
perfection like that
can only be explained
by heavenly
grace.

He loves
She takes
He folds her heart
into neat patterns
careful all the days
She fiddles with the fabric
so it stays in disarray
He smooths it gently,
always.

we are nothing but bones
constructed into two small
houses
skin made of glass;
so you can see me
and i can see you.
see your chimney with it's glowing fire
i'll watch as the flames spark
alighting the rooms
in white;
only when i'm near
does your heart glow
so intensely
how fragile are we
how fragile

standing on the precipice of this world and the next
never forget who taught you to listen
to the earth when it weeps
you'll need somebody from the old days
boots laced to the top
i wont cry when your figure
is only a smudge to my eyes

hello walls
and emptied hearts
echoing like grand caverns
stalagmites dripping crimson
the bitter taste coating my tongue
when the night grows weary
my mind becomes a frigid place
alaska in months of darkness
the sun far away

dog eared books stacked on dusty window sills with warm laughing light spilling through beveled glass a grandmother's plate of gooey cookies staining teeth and lips with sugar kisses and wrinkled feet from barefoot running in the streets sing me to sleep paint a picture of outer space make sure my star collides with yours so we become a blazoning life form of galactic fire

lie awake
with the wilted presence
of mistakes
running down my arms
cotton fills my throat
i stay silent in your company
some day ill know what to say
but then you'll be oceans away
**** this is stupid
words
meaningless
stomach
sick with
poems about you

timing is everything or is it nothing
where was time when the little girl screamed
her eyes squeezed shut
it dragged on slowly,
as her body scraped against dirt
blood blooming on her skirts
we pray for time
we pray for time to end
we pray for time to begin
let's stop praying to what doesn't exist

when i see your face under the traffic lights
my lungs go numb
my heart a lion's roar.
i want every lock of your
dark dark hair
curled around my pale fingers
and your freckles laughing
my promises
won't die.
not for you,
never for you.

if i were you
and i read my poetry
i'd hate myself
and wish to feel
every needle sting.
see your torment,
with glowing red eyes
the angel of death
i will avenge
my fractured innocence.

"****** *****
you're a ****** *****"
i still hear your words in my head.
i sleep with my hands wrapped
around my wrists;
memories throbbing.
even though he kisses
my pain away
your ghosted horror
still agonizes
the deeper conscious
of mottled brain.

when i bled in the sheets
your scream wounded my ear
like shell shock
in WorldWarI trenches
we forgot our helmets that day
our skin blew to bits
and blanketed the tree branches
hanging limp
like ripped-off doll
hands.

A rivulet of nostalgia
snakes around
the ever bright
eyes
shining like a beacon
sinking towards the sea
a rubble of glass
is what you
make me.

Soaked in the black sweat of passion
gasping through the cracks
filled
with eerie moonlight;
I have dirt under my nails
from scratching at the walls
that blur my vision;
I cannot see what is coming
but i feel the pressure of
hands upon my back,
slow to rise
slow to find
the answers I long for,
the carefully threaded lies.

yawning through the
delirium of misted
mountains
ridged in incandescent
footprints
skeletal bodies
swaying with the swamp
reeds
playing the haunting melody
of history
torn from
the bibles
of non-believers

some art is meaningful
some art is "just because"
so for your viewing pleasure;
shut up.

tulips waltzing in wonderland
wind chimes singing the hour

we are but ghosts
observing the memories
captured by photographs
held in twig fashioned frames

fingers like the branches of trees
when the seasons are in between
and its cold
but you know warmth will smile down
opening the timid flower buds
chasing the blue dusted dawn
with plenty of tomorrows
to be held up
towards the morning
sun