so we undressed
and I didn't finish
and you felt self-conscious
and refused to read to me
like you did the night before
so I didn't sleep
but you did
and your brow was a shelf
and I wiped it off
like I did the night before
so the morning would feel clean
yet I missed a spot
and you said no one loved like me
and that wasn't a good thing
like a songbird that was more showboat
so I'm sorry lukewarm newspapers
and two wine glasses
and too empty
and you bit my lower lip until blood was drawn
like a misery, like a static radio song
so I bit your lower lip until blood was drawn
but that wasn't an anchor
but that wasn't a tether
but that wasn't criminal
like the soap operas and the 51st shade of grey
so we undressed
and turned on the history channel
and it didn't go anywhere
and you said history was for the historians
like ******* was for lovers
so we dressed
and you were a child in my clothes
and I talked down to you
and you took one last drink of my cologne
like a closing hymn collapsing on a dime

Bruised wrists

****** trysts

throbbing lips

thrusting hips

burning desire

***** on fire

What’s that noise?

another surprise

over the precipice

drowning in bliss

i keep my hands held close to my sides
for fear that if i dare stretch them too far
i may burn my fingers upon the edge of the stars--
       (i suppose the fear i know is just a side effect of
       having lost things i've loved far too long
       and loving things too lost to play along)

i wonder when ghosts from
our pasts die,
do we feel them go
like we do the
living?

defective, with every ancient deceit
a terbaulant calm within me rages
and I leap from a great hight
into a shallow abyss
where lurk the stains you cannot see
that creep in this petty place
where the speech of those who speak
lays open like a drawer of stained knives
and a stone terrain of thought
recollects the gestures made
where a confrontation with
a corresponding fictionalization
places one in an unquantifiable location

We are married to the Earth in an endless dance,
Floating through the abyss of life,
Imagining adventures with the stars -
Using the universe as our stage.

with a clatter and crash
the q-tips fall to the floor
her broken skin a pale ash
white, clammy and cold
contrasting the metallic hue
of her blood spilling down her arm
saying dearly i’ll miss you
i can’t go on like this

a beautiful diabetic girl
with so much to live for
a diamond in the rough, a pearl
among the splinters
feeling one-thousand percent alone
and done with being herself
ripping her heart to pieces shown
to absolutely no one

little does she realize
she has a cloud of support
to fall back on, her eyes
deceive her looking in the mirror
stumbling blindly around a vast
and empty ocean trying to float
every moment is her last
suspended in a single second
and her rope could twist and break
and she would be gone in a snap
when each day is a constant give-and-take
of her emotions and i
wasn’t around

you fell and i
wasn’t there
to hear it

i lived in your house
you were not my friend
you were my sister
and i didn’t know
the way you cried
the blood you shed
the thoughts that plague your head
and trouble your mind
and you trouble mine

and i’m sorry i didn’t see
we may have grown apart physically
you are and always will be
in my heart and in my soul
i’m sorry i wasn’t always there
but now i am i promise

you mean so much to me
and your ocean’s not empty
it’s filled with creatures of the sea
and the coral and the tide
an amazing unexplored wonder
20,000 leagues under

you can scratch the surface
but you’ll never destroy the beauty
underneath

the duckling was never ugly or wrong
it had forever been a swan
its agile grace a quiet blessing
saved until the unfit traits
were finally abandoned

you will shed away your tortured skin
and leave behind your mortal coils
you will mend up your ruptured heart
and heal to somewhere over the rainbow

with the burning passion
of a thousand bright suns
it’s okay to hate yourself
so long as you don’t let the light
grow cold or fade out
someday you will shine bright
your scars show you’ve
valiantly battled
the demons under your skin
so don’t forget to fight

mama said there’ll be days like this
and each day can be torture
but someday you will recover
so stay golden, ponyboy
brush the dust off
and glow