The clouds are shy when you are around,
they stop peeking around the shoulder of the sun and simply
dissolve
into particles smaller than pores, pills
that I can swallow – I am their mother, the bulk of
their weapon
pass all the greyness through word of mouth. I hurt when
everyone else is scared to,
I water everything so that the sky does not have to.
You said I should be gentle with you
so the clouds are afraid
to be awake when
you are. You do not take up too much space
but those stars in your eyes had to get there somehow, fog’s
only here in the morning because our
souls are making love –
all of the rest of the day it is up my skirt. I
am the mother to mist, but you get along better with sun.

People always say that they have a hole in their heart,
Or a piece of them is missing.
People always talk about how they don’t quite feel whole.
This isn’t like that.
My entire body feels like it’s being ****** away.
I feel nothing,
But every emotion is amplified.
Every move you make is like an earthquake to my soul,
Shaking me till I am numb,
Till every bit of me is nothing but dusty debris.
Every day gone by is wasted.
There were no kisses, no fingers intertwined.
Today’s rain would have been so beautiful,
If I could have watched it with you.
Except I didn’t. So every rain drop that hit my face
Felt heavier than lead.

I fell in love with the devil
and he left me in hell
He led me through Heaven
and then he threw me back down
He gave me a taste of everything i'd ever dreamed
He made me sign my life away
Then ripped my heart by the seams
My friends begged me and pleaded to let go of my sin
But my willpower was weak,
temptation would always win
He bloodied up my body
and he choked out my tears
I was in love with the devil and stayed with him out of fear

here we are again
old friend
we tried to drift apart
to empty out our chests
to drain our broken hearts
over-flooded with tears
of a love gone toxic
here we are again
dear friend
i couldn't forget you if i tried
and god, did i
oh god, did i
i closed my eyes and dreamed of a life anew
but nothing really came close
to making me as happy as you
here we are again
my friend
you are mine, aren't you
there is no one else here now
once again, it's me and you

I'm sorry
I wasn't the soft ground
At the bottom
Of the hard world
You fell on.

All roads lead to home,
So I left my car doors open,
And said you could come along.

All signs lead to light.
So I drew you maps
And said lead the way.

All oceans lead to land.
So I built you a boat
And you casted the sails.

And them you told me no.
That you would find your own home.
You tore my maps, and smashed my sails.

Left me unwanted.
And now you feel the *same

Watercolor recollections,
Bleed away with rain
With the brilliant colors
All longing fades away
To have you hold me.

I miss you
And our hours together
color on pale canvas
like the face paint we used last Halloween
And I’d laugh when you’d tickle my nose

My hollow screams rebound
from every brick of our studio
Fragmented cries of someone not whole
You are in every direction here
Each canvas smeared with paint
is another trinket in your shrine

Like driftwood sculptures bobbing in still water
Long buried memories surface
But no blissful moment emerges
those are buried with you

We fought that night
Like wolves for their young,
Father’s for their daughter
Vicious and unrelenting.
Neither of us really won

But I long to forget
Cobblestone words, sharp
Driven from you in anger
Forced out of your mouth
An orphan wrenched from cold, dead hands

So I place our paintings on the doorstep
And the rain becomes an eraser
The color fades
Like runoff water from mountains

And with our watercolor creations,
All memories drain away
And I’m left with nothing
But smudges of paint on my skin
Inside our paradise.