i have vivid dreams
of your lips pressed to my neck.
and how soon you left.

i only learned how to use photoshop when i was young because i wanted to be able to airbrush my dimples and make my thighs slimmer.

2. i let that boy kiss me when i didnt want his lips, his tongue, his hands touching me.

3. i kept my first job for two years longer than i wanted to because my mom told me it was too early for me to start being a quitter.

4. i wear t shirts because the girl at forever twenty-one gave me the look when i came out of the dressing room in that little dress with sunflowers on it

5. i let someone tell me i couldnt and i believed them.

i don’t know about you
but libraries
dont work for me.
i don’t need a citadel.
a sanctuary.
i don’t need silence
to hear myself.
i bury myself in the world.
i hide in plain sight.
im in the corner of
the student center.
at a tall table
outside of a bistro
in an airport.
sitting on a bench
in a crowded park.
i can’t be alive in silence.
i love the sound
of pre-meds playing ping-pong,
of happy reunions,
and baggage claim assignments.
love the laughs on the breeze
the sound of swings
and running feet.
i love the sound of life.
i don’t need silence
that closes me off.
i need the ordinary
to remind me
that i am alive.

dont wish that he'd take you to the places you love
because every time you go back
you'll taste him in your mouth
you'll feel him on your hips
you'll hear him in your heart
and you'll wonder why
you can't watch a sunset without reaching for him.

this year
you learned a lot
you learned to love
without loving
and you learned
that you're strong
and you carry on
when love walks away.

i love you most as
clock ticks mark the long minutes
since i saw you last.

3:00 am doesn’t scare me anymore.
I used to lay in bed
watching the clock
tick tock
tick tock
and if I hadn’t fallen asleep
by 2:59
I was afraid.
Afraid because
they tell you
that’s when the demons come out.
Now my only demons
remind me of you.
And I’m not afraid
because they’re beautiful.