Don't expect something
from someone you treat like nothing.

I don't usually feel lonely

I am self-sufficient.

But I can not bear

the distance between you and I.

I want to feel

your defined muscles

your warm body

I want to breathe

the air you breathe

I crave

your presence

I need

your love

and when

you pull away from me

I truly do

start to feel lonely.

Because I

am so close to you,

because I

love you.

Even during the wee hours of the night,
I am alone.

He told me
"What's not to love?"

It's more of a
"Whats not to hate?"

My heart
starts to crumble
as everything physical
just phased

I chased
all my demons
towards the end
of my days.

I fought
for my justice
I wasted
my time.

I realized
the sickness
I coughed
out the grime.

I focused
on vengeance
I never
had love.

I soaked
in my anger
without feeling
respite.

I doubt
at my death bed
that I'd feel any
delight.

Our lives
are a story,
nothing but pages
in a book.

My pain
is a secret,
the life
that you took.

I don't live
like I would
if everything
was good
moments passing
so fast
now I know
love will
never last
just look
at my past.

I cry
for my future
I mourn
all my grief
my worldview
is so limited
just like my gnarly
beliefs.

I'll swim
to the ocean,
and bury
myself deep
underneath
the wicked sands
letting my vision
fill the reef.

My sorrow is swimming,
my body is still
so now will you
be forgiving
or will you
just nill?

I'll never
say I'm sorry,
instead
I'll just kneel.

My life,
my will,
my pride,
my heel,
I want
to ****,
in all of it,
I heal.

Or maybe I
never will.