When everything is beautiful
and everything is strange
when everything is lifeless
and beautifully arranged
when everything is sorrowful,
and takes away your breath
when everything is living
but life's a silent death.
when everyone is laughing
but all you do is cry
when others are thriving
and you just want to die
when everything is passing
and you live in the past
holding onto strangers
that were never meant to last
always hoping
that reality will bend
and you won't talk to me
but I can always pretend.
always replacing
the void that's always there
so I won't be lonely
and I won't despair
something always changing
always inter-phasing,
I have many faces
for the many things I'm facing.
call me a kaleidoscope,
always cry and can't let go
I am a sad cube,
Inside a vacuum
These tears are hot and sting
I really like to sing
Whenever I feel like
I have nothing
It's all a silent death,
but it's not colorless
It's my internal void
that always gets destroyed
when everything is lifeless,
and beautifully deranged
and you're rid of your innocence
and wonderfully estranged.
when strangers marvel at you,
like a plate full of meat
and nobody loves me,
it's all just deceit.
when the world is so vast
but your room is so small
and the monsters are so big,
but your dreams are too tall.
when intimacy is formless,
and you're making love with ghosts
sitting in anger,
at a pain no one knows.
and with the simple pleasures,
you really mean the most
cause' although I'm suicidal,
I want to have a toast.
when your ex is everything,
but you're nothing but his muse,
and he calls you his 'friend'
after you were violently abused
when you forget your age,
as he forgets his
and your childhood is seamless
life's as if you were dreaming
but everything's a nightmare,
and everything is slow
and everyone is happy
and everyone lets go
but I move silently
I walk as slow as my breath
because time is passing
straight to the silent death.
This poem was about Lego
I love you 💖
I will just get old and die. Never really having what I actually wanted. Wrinkling and preparing more and more to go back into the dirt. It's where I really want to go. Nothing in this world was worth living for.
It's just always a love I never had. And yet I replace it with voices in my head.