the jokes of the students fill the room. it makes it easier to cope with the ceaseless projects assigned.
empty eyes stare back at the professor, paralyzed with academic indifference.

the ball of stress explodes in my stomach.
six more weeks. six more weeks.

I know I will be okay, but I cannot see the end. Much less imagine the relief.

go away, go away
the hand reaches and retreats

the pulse of the drums shook your heart out of its senses
clutching your chest
"not yet"
"you have work to do here"
"but i want to be with you,"
knowing, it wasn't a question.
i must stay..

you're so desperate for that touch of heaven

you do know

constantly misused.

lungs colapsing,
like pushing in the little tongue of a milk carton.
so i fell, feeling through the cracks in my logic, in a place where it never got cold

thoughts overlap
the voices merge into a whole vibration

thick humming of embarrassment
i always feel my thoughts freeze and crack away

salt burned knees
trying to stand still
when the ocean licks back its sand
eating away at the ground

and i love you
or what's left of you, anyway.

the view from my ceiling
isn't especially spectacular
with people kissing under my feet

the church girl
hanging from her faded shoelaces
what would the neighbors
think?

wrapped memories
moments snapped
and held close,
distorted by time,
my love for you has become blurry
i cant tell what's better for me
anymore

pupils dilated
I see the core of innocence
in you
blood drops
I see what contains life
in you
tears
I see the sorrow of humanity
in you
looking at your body
and your heart covered in thorns
I finally know
why I fell in love
with you.

words smudged across paper
a pen that can't write words fast enough,
little tears on the edges
words rejected by the hand that wrote them
terrible penmanship
again and again
I soak it up
then go and wring out my emotions

hopes are shattered,
dreams are gone.
and all that's left,
is the agony.
the person that was supposed to love me the most.
i can't bring myself to hate you, so
i hate myself instead.