I'm not the one who you think I am

I'm not either who you want me to be

I'm me and I'm the only one who knows that
You are trying to judge me even if you are also a human

Even if you are making mistakes in a particular way
I'm not gonna say you make them more or less
Because I will be like you a *******

Who just criticizes to think of himself as a better person
To think that he is above and not just anybody

To think that he is a nice individual who does the good
But let me bring  the bad news to you  human

You aren't what you are ambitious to be

You aren't what you dream about in your sleep

You aren't what others think about you
But you are what you know deeply you are

You are after all a human like everybody

A human that has free will to make his life his own

Only if he choose what makes him feel comfortable

Not what makes others happy or surprised

You are different you just have to believe it

You have it in you, you just need to own it

And if you do then you will make a difference

In a shape of what you want and what can make you finally happy

Thinking about friends and foes and how to fight
And desperately how to sleep in the night
It has been a long time since I felt peace
I feel  overwhelmed with the urge to drop some tears
Thinking about the past, the present and the future
hearing the screams of complaints and lecture
Feeling remorse, regret and bad feelings
Seeing myself in a dream crying, begging and kneeling
And how I finished my day without any progress
Seeing the evolution of yesterday dreams digress
Seeing how I am still the same or even worse
It's like I'm being under a witch spell or curse
I'm done with all this ******* I just wanna sleep
I'm done with criticizing myself and feeling weak and cheap

I did ask a friend
To go with me where is the sand
We did miss each other
Therefore I want to be together
Go to the beach and play
Find what advice can he say
Friendship is more than a treasure
It gives help, happiness, and pleasure
We all suffer from problems
Since we are humans not golems
We don't prefer orders
But we always make for ourselves borders
We need people who love us
Not those who left on our wounds a pus
Others will just say *******
To make you feel within their groups you fit
We don't need everybody to care
Two or three enough for our welfare
They don't do it for benefits
They sacrifice for you and take many hits
For you to love them back
Without considering any reward or payback
It's all about true feelings
Not about strengths or weaklings

Here I am surrounded by more than one
They think about me just if they want fun
I miss the days where I was all day happy
Today I don't know which is the friend from the copy
I don't know why besides me they walk
Although they aren't searching for real talk
Trying to look better or much smart
In your insult, they don't hesitate to take part
People say what they wanna say
They don't live with you every night and day
They will try any mean or way
To make you look awful if they may
By envy of what you have and possess
Not only ruin your life but they will mess
They thought you had it easy and nice
Without any hard work suffer or price
You will hear them shout behind your back
Saying you don't deserve it was just luck
So just shut the hell up and listen
I'm going with my words to teach them a lesson
If you have something to say keep it for later
I don't need you to like me you, ***** hater
You don't deserve my time for you to spare
So just grab a chair and wait for me to care

A friend made me remember a serious fact
That I'm usually bringing up the suffering of the past
I really needed this advice to wake me up
After I suffocated myself and ******* me up
I was hating myself for no reason
I actually did to me such betrayal and treason
The happiness left me since years ago
Stupid me I thought I just need to grow
But after time my dreams began to blow
Hearing an advice, such as take it slow
I couldn't bear my curiosity to know
What fate and destiny may show
I realized the truth at a late time
After I lost many dear people and my life's prime
I was living every day the same way trying to achieve fame
Hoping to hear people call admiringly my silly name
But I'm glad I'm still at the mercy of my god
Since I can reconcile with myself and make my family proud
Even if the critics of people become very loud
I will be patient and work my way even in a huge crowd

I'm looking forward in the mirror
Even if it is a tiny thing attached to an old wall
I keep seeing someone very strange to me
Someone whom the happiness take shape on his face
He has the looks of my mom and dad
But he isn't one of my dear brothers
He smiles like someone who I want to be
Like someone who has risen from the bottom to the top
Someone who has only the love and the recognition of his poor parents
To be after all the suffering, recognized by the whole world as a magnificent man
As someone who gives hope to those who have nothing
To those like his old self that suffer from being poor
To those who refuse to give up due to their ****** fate
To those who are willing to work until the end
For a bright future, a future where almost everyone happy

I chose to stand on the edge of life
Having on my neck a sharp knife
Say I'm insane or making myself in pain
It's how I like to live, free without a chain
Depending on my own abilities
Not like lazy people or little babies
I know as a human I can't live alone
And I can't always sit  at home hiding behind the phone
But I rather hide from a silly reality
Than pretending to face it with a hypocrite vitality

I don't know what I wanna be
Should I fly like a bird or a bee ??
But I'm a human I have limits don't you agree
I'm gonna say some words for you to referee
Life isn't easy it stabs in the back
So don't lose your focus on the right track
Or let your heart become tainted black
And protect yourself from any hack or crack
I don't need to say it loud
Of what I'm, I'm very proud
I don't like to be in the crowd
But talking on the stage with a leadership sound
It won't change me if I have a car or a bike
Or if I have a lot of friends to like
Just if my capacities everyday spike
I would be more than happy and success strike
I'm finally starting to speak
And you want me to shut up and became weak
It's the end of my success you seek
You  ******* really had the cheek
They told me to have a good life
I need to have a car and a beautiful wife
Being a doctor or an engineer
I will live a good life without fear
I started studying since my childhood
Working hard more than I normally should
I was always the first one in the class
But in adolescence, I became like a shattered glass
I need to drink from water success
Even though I'm not smart or good at chess
I'm tired of talking and chatter
Recognition of others for me doesn't matter
I know I may look to you like a freak
But I'm just trying to know myself and speak
I'm not saying I will suicide
But I have to take a step and decide
Without a dream to follow
Food or taste, me or you, wouldn't swallow

It does not matter anymore
He is above and I'm on the floor
If he can make her happy more
Then I will gladly take the door
It does really hurt in the chest
For me to think I was the best
And she is whom I can share the nest
But hopefully, it was just a test
It puts me on my knees
And there beside him she is
I wonder if she says please
Will I forgive her and forget my worries
Let her be, she wasn't the one
What was between us is done
She was with me for fun
And stupid me look up to her as a sun
My intention of love was real
But she treats it as a deal
She wanted me to kneel
Follow her and not to feel
I know now, I'm not a fool
She used me as a tool
What she did wasn't at all cool