When I finally have found the courage, you disappear.
When I finally understand what I feel, you disappear.

Why? Why did you leave me?

When I finally understand you, you disappear.
When I finally want to love you, you disappear.

Why? Why did you leave me?

When I finally say "I Love You", you disappear.
When I finally find you, you disappear.

Why? Why did you leave me?

When I finally move on, you reappear.
When I finally see you again, you disappear.

I never saw you after that, for all you do is disappear.

My light shines ever so brighter,
Because you love me

My strength grows ever so stronger,
Because you love me

My love grows ever so louder,
Because you love me

My feelings grow ever so sweeter,
Because you love me

My steps grow ever so lighter,
Because you love me

I love you more and more everyday,
so why did you leave me?
*Because you love me?

The blood rose remains
Vengeful for eternity
It never forgets

People always told me to reach for the sky.
Each time I would try, I would only fall and cry.

But still, I didn't give up and tried harder every day.
I would try and try every possible way.

One day it finally happened, I finally reached the sky and flew.
When I was up there all I saw was clouds and blue, lots of blue.

When I could fly no longer I began to fall, down and down.
How big of a fool I was to think I could actually fly, as I fell I took one last look around.

Right before I hit the ground I took my final breath and stared at the coming brown.
That night, for the first time in my life, I became the talk of the town.

*I only realize now that you can only crash, when you try to fly.

To reach ones dreams, is to reach the stars.
It may be hard, but it's not impossible.
You strive for it every single day,
and yearn for the impossible to become possible.

Your hard work may not be done yet,
but when it's all said and done,
are anyone's dreams  easy to reach?
If they were, they wouldn't be as fulfilling.

Do not worry if you haven't reached your dreams yet.
Some take years, and some take lifetimes.
In my opinion, the dreams that take the longest to achieve,
are the ones truly worth living for.

I paint on my canvas, and create a story with colors.
I paint many pictures while I'm doing this.

I paint pictures based on my feelings and emotions.
I painted a calm brook that replicated my current state of serenity.

I continue to paint, and create a solemn couple.
I believe that replicated my current love life at the moment.

The final painting was of a scared looking man in a cage.
He was lying in a fetal position, and was barely clothed.

This painting continued to puzzle me the rest of the night.
My careful deciphering led me to believe he was me.

Alone and scared, watching the world go by around me.
I believe the cage symbolized the shell I built for myself.

Unable to escape and out of hope, I lie and wait,
waiting for someone to come and set me free.

There once was a starry night.
Where the stars shined oh so bright.

The northern lights above seemed to dance,
and then, when I sneaked a glance...

The starry sky reflected off of your eyes,
and lifted your disguise to mirror your beauty.

You looked so majestic and full of grace,
I was paralyzed by your beauty so I stood and stared.

You were an enchantress and I was your prey.
You took all that I had and much more.

You left me feeling dazed and violated.
When I recovered you were gone, and I was lost.

Our love has met it's expiration date.
It can no longer be salvaged.

I no longer love you and must leave.
We need to move on, and bid each other adieu.

Goodbye

A lone woman crouches at her fiancé's grave.
She sheds a single tear and places a bouquet of red roses,
bound together by a lacey white ribbon.
She tucks a loose strand of her auburn hair behind her ear,
and stands to whisper "Goodbye" and then she departs.

They were together for just over 4 years.
And he never found the courage to propose.
They were madly in love, and envied by all.
You could not separate them, nor would you want to.
Something so pure should never be silenced.

They did everything together, from picking flowers,
to slowly dancing in front of the glowing fireplace.
However, it was the one time they weren't together,
that caused everything to go wrong.

He went out to go Christmas shopping for his one and only,
when the worst blizzard in the last 30 years arrived.
He never called or answered his phone.
He never came back home and was never found.

His damaged truck was the only thing of his to be found.
It broke through the road barriers and crashed into Lake Superior.
She wept and wept and was in constant denial,
and it only grew worse when they found an engagement ring
in the compartments of the dashboard in the truck.

Her parents called, along with his, to try and calm her,but it was to no avail.
That Christmas was by far the worst,and by far the loneliest.
She sobbed and wept harder than ever when she found out she was pregnant.
Now she would have to raise a child by herself that was a constant reminder of him.
Her parents offered to help with the child, but she refused. This was her burden to bear.

The child is now 6 and its been 6 years since his father died.
She takes him with on almost every visit to his fathers grave.
The only time she goes alone is on the anniversary of his death.
Since he was alone at the time, she will be too.
She stands in the snow and whispers "I miss you" then she says "Goodbye".

He and She had a beautiful relationship.
It was full of love and passion,
passion so strong nothing could affect it.
Each day their love grew stronger and stronger.
So strong in fact that others asked them for advice.
The only piece of advice they ever had to give,
was to listen to each other and never lose their respect for one another.

As their family grew their love was broadened.
Broadened to accept and appreciate their new creations.
These creations noticed and studied the love and passion their creators showed.
They learned to treat their own loved ones the same way,
with passion just as strong as their creators.

He and She were getting no younger.
Their relationship still did not falter.
They loved, laughed, and lived together.

When He grew sick and weary,
She stayed with him, and showered He with her passion.
He was healed by her love and passion,
only to slip back into his illness deeper and darker than before.
She wept and prayed for her love to heal him again.
Her prayers and tears would only be in vain.

He slipped away from her and never came back.
She visited his final resting place many a time.
She still loved and showered him with her passion,
only this time She didn't get it back.
Alone and feeling forgotten she let herself go and slipped away.

United again they continue their love from where they left off.
With their love and passion just as strong as it was before,
He and She forever shine as constant examples of true love and passion.

*He and She together...forever

I dream of true love and romance,
and just wait for it to come and pass.

I weave tales of happy endings,
and ignore the cold world around me.

I hope someday, I will find true love.
And weave my own happy ending.

But until then, I'm happy to dream.
And continue on my hunt for love.

Ignoring the dark, and embracing the hopeful light,
I will search and search, never giving up...hope.

I control what you eat.
I control you.

I control what you wear.
I control you

I control who you talk to.
I control you

I control when you sleep.
I control you

I control where you work.
I control you

I control who you sleep with.
I control you

I control if you have children.
I control you

I control you and your LIFE

So when I finally gave you free will,
*Why did you stay?

I dreamed a dream where we were together.
I dreamed a dream where your love for me lasted forever.

I dreamed a dream where our lives were perfect
I dreamed a dream where mean words had no affect.

That's why I cried when I woke up and none of that has come to pass.
If my future was like my dreams, I could relax all day and lay in the grass.

You feed me lies as if they were a delicacy.
Can't you see I'm done here?
I want nothing to do with you most definitely.
We are done here. Am I clear?

I lost my friend due to my own actions.
I lost her trust and I lost her presence.

I paid the price

I lost her for now and forever.
I lost her and my own innocence.

I paid the price

I lost her and her infinite love.
I lost her because of my betrayal.

I paid the price

I lost her, maybe for my own good.
I lost her, maybe for HER own good.

I lost her and I paid the price.

Is it right or is it wrong to like what you like?
Is it right or is it wrong to love who you love?
Is it wrong to have a few guilty pleasures?
Or is it wrong to feel any pleasure at all?

Is it bad to be a stereotype? Is it wrong to be a little different?
What about voicing your thoughts? Is that wrong?
Is freedom of speech just a dream,
or do we actually have the freedom to say what we want?

Next time, before you judge somebody,
think about what I've said and take it into serious consideration.
We all have voices, but some are heard more than others.
So try and be heard, and say what needs to be said.

I was such a fool to fall for your love.
I should never have let myself succumb to your wiles.
Your love is nothing more than physical.
There's nowhere inside of you that loves me for me.

Although I know all this, I still cannot leave.
It's almost like you have me on an invisible leash.
You make me believe you love me, when you truly don't.
When I decide to leave, you love me like never before.
Again, I fall for your love...I'm such a fool.

When I reassure you I will not leave,
You go back to being the old you.
You control my life, but make it feel normal.
You still try to fool me with your hollow love.

Now it's too late to leave, and too late for you to treat me right.
It would be best if I would just leave, but why can't I?
I was such a fool to fall for your love,
but an even bigger one for not leaving when I could.

I wear a mask to hide my true identity.
I do so to give myself a false sense of serenity.

The face I wear, is a constant lie.
A lie I'm starting to no longer deny.

The lie inside grows and grows,
but it only increases my woes.

I hide myself so no one can see.
I would never want them to see the real me.

The mask I wear is no longer a lie,
for my real face I've said goodbye.

As I start to believe my own lies,
the real me only cries and cries.

Soon I'll be nothing but a mask, a lie,
so real even your own eyes couldn't deny.

As I say goodbye to the real me,
I only hope that someday I will be free.

Too early is this time of day,
but I know I can not stay.

I must move on with my travels,
before my world as I know it unravels.

My Life and those around me, always in danger.
I can't trust anyone, definitely not a stranger.

A life like this isn't for everyone,
but then again, I'm just a son.

Nothing more and nothing less,
but I've never been able to impress.

People see me as just a little boy,
but maybe that's just my decoy.

I'm always in disguise and on the run.
Never been able to have any kind of fun.

I'm always on watch, never resting.
"Just take a quick nap." They're always suggesting.

I'm hungry, tired and forever lonely.
If only I could find my one and only.

I could live in secret far far away.
And start a family, the old fashioned way.

To finally allow myself to fall in love,
and watch it fit me, just like a glove.

Life on the run is never much fun,
but then again I've only just begun.

I sit out in the meadow at night.
I look up and see the moon shining bright.
While the fireflies dance.
I look on in a trance
and stare directly into the moon's light.

The crisp leaves fall down around me.
As they dance and twirl, they fill me with glee.
Childhood memories begin to stir,
But then they begin to blur.
I then awaken beneath the tree.

Snowflakes fall gently covering the ground.
I walked down the street and heard a sound.
I heard a beautiful song.
And I stopped to sing along.
It was the holiday spirit I found.

Dry, crisp, brittle leaves were strewn
across the forest floor almost like fallen
soldiers in the battlefield laying in ruin.

But to children this forest was a playground
where children could access their imagination
and build piles of leaves like fortresses.

These fortresses would later be blown
away by giant gusting winter storms.
Leaves were no match for the winds, but still
they fought on willing themselves not to tear,
for if they did it would be like hundreds
of little hearts shattering from sorrow.

Come spring, the little brittle leaves have
been blown away and in their place grow
beautiful lavender flowers like a big purple
blanket on which the children now lay on
remembering their fallen friends.

*In memory of those brave little leaves

I lose control of the primal rage inside of me.
It frightens others and causes them to flee, including myself.
It's something I try to hide so no one will ever see.
But when it escapes, I know only I can catch it and put it back on my shelf.

When I see it again all we do is stare at one another.
We just stand and wait for the first move.
I stop and smile, after all he's the only one I can call my brother.
He submits and smiles back knowing he has no more to prove.

Losing control isn't that bad after all.
Sometimes you can even gain a long lost brother.
After losing control I thought the only way to solve it was to brawl.
But in the end I couldn't be happier with any other.

So happy my love makes me,
everyday feels like a spending spree.

So happy our love makes me,
not even the sea could keep me away from thee.

So happy your love makes me,
everyone agrees you fill me with glee.

So happy I am to be with you,
because I know I know I know, you love me too.

Love triangles never work out you see.
One loves another, who simply loves someone else.
You wait to see if your love will notice you,
or you just standby and watch the love that should've been yours.

Sometimes they look at you and make you wonder,
what if they have feelings for me too and just don't know how to show it!
You talk to them and carefully drop hints, to which they never pick up.
So you decide to be aggressive, and make the first move.

You proclaim your love through letters, texts, and even posts.
Only to be denied and publicly embarrassed.
When you're the lowest you can possibly go,
you notice something out of the corner of your eye.

You turn and see someone sneaking quick glances at you.
You quickly realize that they are in the same position as you.
Stuck in the endless webs of love triangles.
You walk over, introduce yourself( even though they clearly already know)

You leave together realizing that you can't always have what you want,
but you can sure help others try.
You former lover is now single and lonely, but you no longer care.
You're with someone 10 times better than they ever were.

Her unending gaze wraps victims in a haze.
She has nothing to own, but her victims of stone.
With a head of snakes, her heart aches.
No one to love but the snakes above,
for every man she sees starts to freeze.
Deemed a monster, never to prosper,
she's forever  alone with her victims of stone.

As I let the moonlight caress my skin,
all I can think about is what hides within.

It's something that hides oh so deep,
I can only reach it when I'm asleep.

It stays oh so still, waiting to pounce,
and when it does I can't help but announce

STOP!!! YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH HARM TO ME TONIGHT!
But oh, how could I be so far from being right!

The fear and the pain grows ever so stronger.
And my torture lasts ever so longer.

I awaken with fresh tears and sweat.
And I know it will return again, but yet...

No, it won't come back tonight.
I'm done with waking up in fright.

My fears will no longer torment me.
I will finally again be free.

Free to feel happy and no longer cry.
I will dream of the sky and being able to fly.

Nothing will hold me back any longer.
From now on I can only get stronger.

You know the true me, you know my name.
So why do you taunt me like this is some game?

You see through my disguise and discover my pain.
You say my pain is as normal as the summer rain.

But I do not feel that way at all,
for my pain keeps me feeling oh so small.

So tiny and unimportant I feel,
but here you've come, to help me heal.

So together we stand each wearing a disguise.
That to me, was a most pleasant surprise.

My friend writes poems about me.
She publishes them for everyone to see.

I will not tell you her name,
or even the names of these poems.

For these poems are about me,
and they're not something you need to see.

My Lady My Lady, how lovely you are.
My Lady My Lady, you shine bright like a star.

My Lady My Lady, how sweet you've been.
My Lady My Lady, can I play you my violin?

My Lady My Lady, how I love you so.
My Lady My Lady, where on Earth did you go?

My Lady My Lady, come back soon.
My Lady My Lady, how I miss your sweet tune.

My Lady My Lady, It's been two months now.
My Lady My Lady, any longer my heart will not allow.

My Lady My Lady, please come back.
My Lady My Lady, you're giving me a heart attack.

My Lady My Lady, don't make me cry.
My Lady My Lady, I'm not ready to say goodbye.

My Lady My Lady, a year has now gone past.
My Lady My Lady, I believe It's time to take off my cast.

My Lady My Lady, please forgive me.
My Lady My Lady, for I have moved on without thee.

My Lady My Lady, deep down I know that's what you wanted.
My Lady My Lady, you never wanted me to feel so haunted.

My Lady My Lady, please know that I will never forget you.
My Lady My Lady*, and I hope you know... that I love you too.

Many people ask me about my past
A past I've worked so hard to try and forget
I ran away from my past, I ran so fast
And I know it's something I'll never regret

I wander barefoot oh rolling hills of green, sun shining on my face.
Looking down at my toes I see flowers, blooming with life.
Busy bees buzzing from blossom to blossom, humming as they pass.
Every step stirs the dandelions, their seeds dance and swirl around me.
I gaze upward to look at the fluffy white clouds marching on.
I soon hear a choir of birds, their songs carried by the breeze.
They sing and flutter above me, weaving together elegantly as one.
I lie down with my back on the grass and lay enchanted.
Enchanted by the beauteous nature around me.

Never forget me or what we had.
Never forget what we did together.
Never forget the good or the bad.
Never forget what we had to weather.

Never forget *us

We started as friends you and I,
But then you wrapped your hand around mine.
Why did you do that why?
I began to take this as some sort of sign.

You wanted to speed things up,
no longer staying "just" friends.
I began to take a look at you, a look close-up.
So this is where our friendship ends?

I sit and watch as our friendship turns into something else.
Something so beautiful everyone turns green with envy.
I accept this new beginning, knowing I could find no one more special anywhere else.
All I want to do now is offer you the best of me and what I can be.

You stare at me with eyes wide open and filled with wonder.
I stare back gazing into eyes that reflect my own.
"Now promise me this" I say, "never tear our new love asunder."
"I would never do that" you say, "especially to a love so newly grown."

I never looked at you the same way again,
you went from a dear friend, to something much better.
You promised to never let me ever again feel pain.
Our love feels like it was ripped write out of a love letter.

Our first date was a blast, we even danced in the rain like your favorite movie scene.
I promise you that our love will never ever end.
Nobody could harm what we have, no one is that mean.
And so our friendship stopped which is something I would now recommend.

There is something you should understand about the way I work.

When you need me, but do not want me, I will stay.
When you want me, but no longer need me, then I must go.

It's rather sad, really, but there it is.

A snow white rose sits in it's bush,
without a care in the world.
People gaze and admire its beauty.
They come back and pluck all of her friends,
leaving her all by herself.

She cries dew drops as everyone passes,
not even a second look is given.
Days pass along with all the people.
Suddenly a woman stops and says,
"Hey, why is there only one rose?
It's wasting precious space with this giant bush!"

She begins chopping at the bush with haste.
The rose cries out for help, but everyone turns away.
She decides enough is enough and lashes out.
Her thorny vines whip at the woman and blood flies,
landing on the white rose creating red stains all over.

The woman never comes back, but others do.
They try to whack away at the bush,
but she won't have it.
The rose whips and lashes at her victims,
and blood flies and flies.

Soon the rose is covered in  their scarlet blood,
and the stains never went away.
She was the first red rose, but certainly not the last,
for people started paying tribute and honoring her,
by giving her red rose children to their dates and spouses.

She only wanted to be noticed and not brushed aside.
Now she is revered and oozing with pride.

The dark me is hard to reach,
for I buried him oh so deep.
I refuse to right poems about him, for he might breach.
I want him deep inside me, for me to keep.

The brilliant moonlight shines through the pines.
The wolves howl and the wind roars.

Another forest is flowing with mist,
and the sun glitters through the mist.

A third forest is one of sleeping trees, and snow.
It is cold and beautiful as fluffy, intricate snow flakes flutter down.

The final forest is a scar of dead trees and earth rupturing roots.
The only life to be found are the scavenging foxes and crows.

All of the forests are mysterious and beautiful.
They are filled with wonder and amazement.

They are all thought lost and are almost forgotten.
However, their mysterious beauty remains, and continues to grow.

The Sun warms me,
and fills me with glee.
With it's rays oh so bright,
there's nothing that isn't touched by it's light.

The Breeze cools me,
while I'm resting under this tree.
It fills me with joy with just a touch,
something that doesn't happen oh too much.

Together the Sun and the Breeze,
they work wonders with such ease.

The evening sky grows murky green
The winds whip and roar
Clouds swirl and merge together
A funnel begins to form
As it drops, people scream and hide
It hits the ground  and dust and debris fly high
It destroys everything in sight
People cry and pray to their god,
but the tornado obeys no one,
and does what it loves best...

*Destroy

Every mirror I look in cracks.
Everyone who sees me runs away in fright.

I do not have any outer beauty whatsoever.
I don't think I have any inner beauty either.

Some take pity on me, others do not.
Some mock and tease me, others say nothing at all.

I'm starting to believe I'll be forever lonely.
And that I'll never feel love at all.

Sure my life is sad, and sometimes pointless,
but I'm strangely happy like this. Just me, being me.