Tick Tick Tick as the time goes by. At one point I would have believed to finally discovered how to deal with the feelings inside, to come to realization and to have come to understanding. Hiding the feelings of one’s love and tucking it to a box deep within ones heart. Becoming a mere figment of a ghost than anything to resemble what once was or might have been. Hoping only that during the next twelve months to come my judgment will have been correct. I sit now no longer on a soap box preaching right from wrong. I have been named the ******* not by choice but by status of coincidence. Trying to piece together life as it is, as I want it to be, and what it will be. We have no idea in life how things will appear before us on the path. We know only that we have each other and God above us. Yet more than once we have seen that not to be enough. As I sit in staring at the ****** knuckles of a defeated broken man only slightly realizing that man is myself. The bottle of Southern Comfort standing tauntingly on the countertop promising a relief or assurance and freedom from pain. The guilty pleasure to be had is but tempting to sin against yourself….myself. To find pleasure in solitude knowing that it will never truly make me whole. Solitude has become the hell I have wished, hoped, begged and prayed for to end. Our characters are all that we know. We will be judged equally at the end not by the words we have spoken but by our actions and deeds. I have tried so hard to move through life with ease and always failing horribly. None of the days to pass in the next few months will be easy. I am so far gone down this same road that the only thing I can do to make anything in life seem new or to bring change is to change lanes, having passed the turn- around point long ago. As much as we all look back in life and wish we could push the REDO button and relive a part of our lives to change the outcomes of life. Sometimes we don’t see how certain things are meant to be. So we try and change everything without ever letting anything play out. Hell most people would change the cereal they ate in the morning from Coco Puffs to Lucky Charms if they truly believed those delicious *** little marshmallows could have made their day better. I don’t yet know if I am included in this sentiment. All I know for sure is that every day that passes I feel a little more in the dark. I know now who the light is in my life and the only thing that makes sense to me anymore. I am unbecoming of myself to see the end of something that never fully launched. But stuck in a stalemate of temptation, happiness, guilt, and misunderstanding. Like an incurable virus are my feelings. A constant sledgehammer pounding on the walls of my heart trying to crack into what would seem an unbreakable resounding dream. What weakens me the most is not the fear or the wall to come crumbling down, nor the pain of that sledgehammer as it slams me down with truth, but simply the realization that from the light the most simplest soft spoken word is enough to turn the walls into powder blowing away as the winds of breathe that escape the lips. Frustration bleeds into my soul as I see what others have any it burns inside me. It is not jealousy towards the lost souls searching for their own way but frustration that sometimes other people have everything that others want but never seem to have and what is always out of reach. I see it everyday. I pass into the void which becomes our existence. When we throw ourselves into busting our *** at work. Others not understanding our motivation at work thinking but undeniably knowing that we must be outgoing and hard worker. Far from the truth we cry in our hearts. Where we break our bodies working out. Running so far and long the miles a blur into one long journey of escape. Hoping without hope there is a *** of gold at the end of our rainbow. I know that when the winds in the desert blow the strongest and the dust blots out the sun I will always carry a light with me. When the bullets are as thick as bees and the bombs erupting with sounds from the depths of Hell itself I will carry with me my light. I will carry my cross. I no longer care what happens in the next year of my life. But because I don’t care doesn’t mean that I don’t have my dreams and prayers. It is the very essence of these dreams that keeps me going. That fuels my soul. And one day maybe if it is the will of God, or the luck of the hand we are dealt I will come home. I don’t want any flag waving or cheering, no tears, all I want is the hug of reality. I want to come home and pick up where everything left off a year before. The sad reality is that I do not have the fortitude nor the strength inside my soul to break it into my mind and accept that everything will change. That everything has changed and continues to do so with increasing speed. I know all too well the role I am to play. The person I have to be. A man apart the world will make me…has made me. I will always remain the loving guardian no matter what the world brings down my road. Nothing but God himself could stop me. Not that as that I wouldn’t put up a fight against him as well. Some would say that blasphemous to say. I don’t see it that way. He made me what I am. I will never change. But a man apart I live. I see a day when I will become unrecognizable. When the world will call for a warrior and all I can say is God have mercy on their souls because I will not. I am tired of seeing those too naïve or too innocent to weak to stand on their own two feet against that which brings evil. Evil has no bounds. And a time will come when evil will realize that a man apart has none either. A man apart has only the love for his light. The will left only to protect it always. To bring the full terror of God down on those who would wish to dim that light. Those foolish enough to think they might try and blow out that light. God would never have let me find my way down without giving me the love that keeps me going, the hate that makes me fear nothing other than losing my light. And that no matter what happens which each passing day that I will remain a man apart able to separate war from love. And to keep that light always aflame seeking only for the betterment of what was…what might have been….what could be….what is….for a man apart.

In this world of uncertainty there will be a defining moment of judgment and regret,
And when the world falls to its knees and trembles you will remember,
It is because WE dared,
It is because we stood against those who Oppressed,
It is because we stood against the tyrants,
It is because we faced the murderers,
It is because when the world turned its backs and ignored the death of the our own children that we rose,
We who dared to take a stand,
We who dared stand against the death and destruction,
It is we who dared stand shoulder to shoulder across the lands and being so few,
Took a stand against many,
It is We who dared to resign ourselves to whichever fate befalls us,
It is we who offered all, mind, limb, body, and soul,
It is we that walk the streets where the very road can explode without notice and rip bone and flesh
It has been our screams that pierce the night,
Our blood which turns the sands crimson,
It is our hearts that are shattered, our minds broken,
Broken by the sight of innocent children torn apart, disemboweled by the explosions,
It is We that have seen the women and children grown accustom to guns and death,
To soldiers walking the streets as giants, wearing armor and war,
To the rumbling of humvees, tanks, and behemoths driving the streets,
It is we who stand with grim determination ready to sweat, bleed, and **** and die,
And it WE who have stood against our nations enemies since birth,
It is we who have dared to sacrifice,
It is WE who have been forgotten and left by friends, family, and lovers,
BUT,
It is WE who dare,
When the world crumbles around your feet,
When all your injustices of forgetfulness, of hate and protest come to light,
And when you fall to your knees with hands held to the sky and your cries fill the night,
When your screams echo into eternity and beg for We to save you,
It is then that WE who dare,
WE who have remembered all that we have lost, all that you have taken from us,
All that you have spit on us, have thrown at us, all those hateful things you have said to us,
IT is We who will hear your cries and remember,
And then it is WE who dare,
It is WE who dare to stand ready and we will reply,
WE DARE, and WE WILL FIGHT

He never understands the world though societies eyes,
the pain inside more than he can bear anymore,
just one more broken soldier,
never even seen combat yet,
yet wanting to go over to distant lands so much,
to escape the loneliness he feels in his own home, his own country,
searching for the meaning of life where madness reigns true,
what does God want of me, how can I best serve him,
how can he best serve his country,
how can he escape the darkness,
just one more broken soldier,
looking to war to fix him,
looking for a best friend in troubled times,
looking for someone to fix his heart,
tired of being scared,
not of death,
not of being hurt in war,
but scared of being inadequate, unwanted,
tired of searching for those hero stories, those fairy tales of love and redemption,
running forward right into the very walls that are thrown at him,
never getting close enough to show his true colors,
drowning in a sea of troubles,
growing and angry with despair,
but a soldier he stands never retreating,
never willing to quit,
never leaving anyone who has fallen on the path to fend for themselves,
and at times being used by the very people he wants to help,
the tears on his cheek the only reminders of his work,
completed but unappreciated,
the blood he has spilled only his own,
the bruises everlasting, turning into invisible scars that only he sees and feels as he tries to go on,
the cold look in his eyes the result of years of pain,
his stance only able to hold for the Honor and truth inside him,
never will he fall below the standards set by God and men,
not boys, not users of women, but men who appreciate their lovers, wives and sweethearts,
their damsels in distress in the stone tower,
but hesitant to get to close,
the rocks and stones maybe thrown again,
and even when they do we stand true taking the blows,
vainly hoping the steady flow will cease and they will realize we are wearing not shinny armor,
not riding a white horse,
but dressed casually, and riding a black horse,
we are not symbolic, because he is normal and true,
he will not display what you want,
but rather what you need,
he is still one broken soldier, searching for the truth,
maybe Iraq will show it to him....to me

I am the body guard, that what I am,
that is my purpose, I take your you pain as my own,
I do not care if you think I am strong enough to take it,
I do carry the world on my shoulders,
That is who I am, I will never change, not for you or anyone else,
God made me who I am,
sometimes I feel it is a curse and other times I feel that I have hope for others,
I want to do something right in a world of wrong,
If you cant take that and understand then walk away because that will never change,
You think that I don’t know what a caution light is in a relationship,
then you are wrong,
You think I don’t know what a stop sign is,
again you are wrong,
I see both the signs,
I push away the caution signs,
I knock over the stop sign,
that who I am, I am brutal and honest, hard and quick to action,
but this time has been different,
when i saw the caution lights i slowed but didn’t stop,
when I saw the stop sign I hesitated, trying to see the future in play,
as if reviewing a movie before the world sees it,
and while I was waiting and thinking, apparently I was taking too long,
you came up behind me and shot out my knees with a shotgun,
my knees shattered and I feel,
hard,
and I will never be the same,
its hard to hold the world in my knees, always in pain,
but now it hurts even more,
every pain will remind me of you and what has happened,
let me tell you what I am,
I am VENGENCE,
I am the terror wrought by God to defeat evil,
it is never to late to bring justice to those who have done wrong,
you may not even want revenge,
but that is how I am, I will protect you as much as I can from future pain,
and I will find out how to cover the pain,
and as long as it takes I will find a way to help you,
all I ask is your understanding,
I don’t want your heart,
I don’t want your love,
I want you to to feel the trust,
I want you to see I have nothing to gain other than faith,
To show you that the world is not all gone to hell,
Even when I done see God,
he will be there for you,
and so will I,
that will never change, and neither will I,
take it or leave it, I am used to the pain,
it wont hurt anymore than it has before,
trust me and I will bear the pain,
don’t and leave your choice,
your pain, your past, my strength,
I see the playing field,
throw up obstacles if you want, it wont matter, I will find a way around,
throw up a wall and like a combat engineer I will blow it to kingdom come,
nothing left,
just rubble,
and then I will help you,
I will build a better wall, with no leaks, no breaks,
I will always be there and always be this way,
all I ask is you to understand,
dont shoot out my knees,
dont try and weaking me, it wont help you,
it will only slow the healing process,
I dont need you love jus the evidence to defeat what is wrong,
I may not be able to fix the problem but I can build the wall around it so the pain will lessen,
It will never go away but it will help,
that is my promise, that is who I am, now I know, and I thank you for showing me who I am,
my purpose

I walk around everyday lost in the past, like reading a ******* history book trying to learn of people from the past. I can never understand how other people think. No matter how hard you try and find the solutions for other peoples problems and honesty and sinceraly want to help them. Whether it is for love, money, friendship, or simply wanting to do the right thing. And even when we do our very best to help and get hurt in the process, for some reason we always come back for more as if the pain inside of us is blinded by the new distraction of you will. I call it that because 9 times out of 10 it seems that the people you are trying to help act as if they want it but then run when it is given. We jump blindly of cliffs to our own doom. We do it so ******* willingly that it becomes second nature.We do our best to protect those we care about or want to care about and the world has a way of saying go **** yourself. And when we take that plunge we hit the ground landing on jagged rocks fragementing into a million pieces. And as time goes on our minds and hearts pick up whats left and piece back together into what we lie to ourselves and call a new and better person. But it is exactly that, we are not a new or better person we are just more learned on the fact that not everything in life is free and the very sad fact that you will cry by yourself far more times than you will laugh with the one you care about. You will learn that there is no perfect relationship, there is no such thing as a soul mate. These are fantasies and dreams we make in our minds so that we can have some glimmer of hope that not everything is lost. That not everything we do in our lives will bring pain and confusion to our lives. So again we decive oursleves. Nothing ever good happens to its too late. We make a million mistakes in the process of trying to do one good thing. Those odds are proven time and time again. And it is not until a friend lays out our  mistakes and can sympathize with them do we realize how stupid we have been and like a collision of truth slams into us and wrecks our whole ****** day. Draining us of our last drop of blood, pulling that last fragment of care from our hearts which is already in a million pieces on the floor as the world walks on past crushing the fragments beneath the wieght of the past and it becomes harder and harder to ever believe that anything will get better with time, people never change, they are what they are, and no matter how much you may be willing to change for them...the sad truth is you will never change, and they will never accept you if you do.

Fragments of a mirror litter a sink,
stained with the color of hate.
and fear,
always running from what others think,
the blood pulsing in temples,
the skin rippling with heat and clammy sweat,
a thousand what ifs flooding the mind,
so many emotions all at once,
oozing out of the eyes in tears,
the soul broken and distorted,
like the hardest jigsaw puzzle it crumbles,
no way ever to be comforted,
fragments turning into dust before your very eyes,
so fine a dust that the most gentle of breezes take away memories,
takes away the pain,
takes away the very thought of emotions,
never to be the same,
forever a broken mirror pieced back together,
distorted by the scars which will never fade,
every laugh and smile guarded,
walls erupted around where a soul once lived,
nothing more to say,
no more understanding,
the very view of life distorted,
distorted in resemblance or the reflection,
the reflection as I look into the mirror,
the reflection which I no longer recognize

Everyday is anything but a present,
waking after a restless night of sleep,
always wondering what went wrong so fast,
always looking for another chance,
seeing a door at the end of the road,
once was open but no is closing,
closing so fast that the breeze sends a chill through my spine,
keeping it all inside,
dont bother to fight it,
you cant face reality,
and dreaming with a broken heart,
cant get you anywhere,
anymore,
bodyguard status revoked,
nice guy turned hard by lies,
bleeding uncontrollably,
unable to see where it starts,
but feeling where it hurts the most,
only it helps to drink,
to drink the night away,
no more dreams,
the soreness and headaches a welcome relief,
a different kind of pain,
drinking you away,
drinking her away,
drinking everyone away,
cant wait to leave this place,
get some distance from anything that hurts,
braving fire and brimstone which can never equal the pain,
only remembering the all too sad truth,
the greatest distance on this earth,
is the distance between two people.
never realizing the strength that one feeds from another,
never realizing the strength that one has to give to another,
the distance is great,
like a chasm to our hearts,
but when dreaming with a broken heart,
no distance is too great,
where you can fly to cross the distance,
bleeding the whole way over,
falling for the same old tricks,
believing the words without looking into the eyes,
and only when the scent hits do you bother to look up,
and does the vision blur,
same old tears,
same old heartache,
same old dreams with a broken heart,
fragments floating into the chasm,
waiting on the world change

AS THE NIGHT CLOUDS ARE EYES THE FEAR INCREASES,
THE HAIRS ON YOUR NECK STAND,
YOUR HEART PUMPS INCREDIBLY QUICK,
PARANOIA CREEPS INTO YOUR SOUL,
RUN OR FIGHT,
SWEAT DRIPS DOWN YOUR BACK IN THE NIGHT BREEZE,
YOU GAIN A CHILL AND BEGIN TO SHAKE,
YOUR EYES DART BACK AND FORTH, THIS WAY AND THAT,
YOUR HOLDING YOUR BREATH WAITING FOR THE END,
SEEING GLOWING EYES ON THE GROUND,
SURROUNDED YOU THEY HAVE,
YOU BEGIN TO WALK,
A RUNNING SOUND YOU HEAR,
YOU QUICKEN YOUR PACE TO A JOG,
THE SOUND QUICKENS AND BECOMES DEFIANT,
YOUR LEGS BEGIN TO PUMP AS YOU RUN DOWN A STREET,
LOOKING BACK YOU SEE NOTHING,
WHICH ONLY INCREACES YOUR FEAR,
YOU SPEED UP STILL MORE,
SUDDENLY YOU STOP,
YOU HEAR NOTHING BESIDES YOUR OWN BREATHING, PANTING,
AND THEN YOU REALIZE,
NOTHING WAS RUNNING,
YOU WERE NOT BEING CHASED,
THE EYES YOU SEEN WERE YOUR OWN,
YOU SAW THEM IN THE SURROUNDING LAKE WHICH YOU WHERE STANDING BY,
THE DARKNESS IS YOUR FEAR,
YOU ENDANGERED YOURSELF,
REALIZING THIS HELPS YOU,
YOU HAVE NO FEAR AND WALK HOME FARTHER INTO THE DARKNESS.

I remember it like it was only yesterday. But one could only understand the love of the first smile with the back story that comes with which can only be described as the most beautiful site that my eyes ever saw and will ever see again. Picture if you will a man, a soldier, another broken heart of a fool too naïve to realize what life was all about. Ready to give in to what was presumed to be the standard for the rest of time. And just when the decision was beginning to form to end it all a risk was taken that would change everything. An invitation from a friend to go to party with some new people and get out of the funk and smoke that seemed to have eroded any care. The party was obviously for those close friends and I was the outsider.  Plenty of drinks to go around and I could have pounded them away. Erased the night in a cloud of stupor. But realizing I had a long drive back to the base I decided for a few beers alone. As the party was beginning to die down and it was obvious that it wasn’t going to start up till I left I poured out my beer and grabbed my keys. And then she said something to me. First words she had said all night that I remembered. She asked me had I been the one who had made a comment on MySpace that earlier in the week on my friend’s page. I replied with a yes. She told me she had read it and thought it was really good what I wrote. She explained to me that recently her husband had left her and that he had been a soldier too. I didn’t know why at the time but I felt I could have talked forever and never even worried about the party, the drive home, the lateness of the hour. Nothing mattered as long as we talked.  She had the most beautiful eyes and just her relaxed state of dress and mannerism spoke volumes about the type of person she was and the troubles that weighed her shoulders. It was a quick and innocent conversation when I look back at it now. Maybe five minutes. But before I left we exchanged phone numbers so that maybe we could become friends. I wasn’t gone on the road five minutes when the first text rolled in and she stated we should hang out some time. Six days later I would be taking her to the movies.  I remember that night and will remember it to the day I die. I drove to her house and she waited on the front porch to wave me in. Something about the house alone was welcoming. Warm to approach even as a visitor. I was introduced to the family. Mom and dad, the two brothers and the sister who I had failed to realize at the party was there as well. Call it love drunk. It doesn’t matter. I realized soon after the part that this girl was something special. After some short introductions she came down from her room and walked down the stairs. We hoped in my truck and headed back into town to the movies. On the drive there as we were chatting the conversation steered right where I had thought it would. She looked over at me and asked me flat out what it was about her that I had found so interesting to take her to the movies only a week after meeting her. When she asked she had this smile on her face that spoke volumes. It showed pain and apprehension. Almost as if she was scared of my answer. I could tell that the recent events of her husband leaving her had broken her heart. Even today months afterwards I still cant seem to understand why any man would leave her. I could die the most horrible painful death known to the pages of history and still die a happy man to even talk with such a lovable person. As I looked into those eyes and that pained smile, I realized. I realized that without a doubt this day would lead to many happy days, many sad days, but days that nonetheless I would suffer through and come out better for no matter what the ending result was. And my answer meant everything to this belief. I looked back at the road to which I realized I had begun to drift from as I had been lost in that smile. I answered as surely as I would now when anyone asks me why I did everything I did. I told her it was her smile. I had seen in the night at the party and using words like intrigue are weak in comparison to what my heart screamed out as heaven and happiness generated in her smile. When I replied something happened that I would never have expected. The smile was gone. It was replaced what by an even more magical smile without pain, and completely innocent. It was this small event in life to some that would change me forever. The man I am today will never be the same as the man I would have been had I not met this person and not had the chance to see a smile sent from the heavens. I remember the movie we watched. We saw the horror movie, “Haunting in Connecticut”. I can honestly say I don’t remember any of it. My mind was far from any movie.  I could only think to where I had been in life a week ago and where I was now. Content is the only word I can find to describe it. After the movie I thought I would be driving here home but it wasn’t it be. We were near the turnoff when she asked me if I would like to go to a party at a friend’s DJ spot. I said sure. Time meant nothing and any excuse to be with her longer was good for me. We drove to another country where I passed the fire hall where the party was. So I decided to do a turn around on a bridge on the edge of town. Well I over compensated and slapped the bridge with my taillight. To this day I still maintain that the bridge was in fact at fault and had jumped out and hit my truck. I should have been mad about wrecking my new truck on some foolish bridge. It didn’t matter to me though. We looked at the truck when we got out and it had sounded far worse than it looked. I wasn’t worried. To summarize we stayed at the party for a few hours. She danced with her friends some and we listened to some music. All together it was a good party, down to earth really. I stayed back in the corner still not understanding the question that still nagged me since the night at the party where I met here. After the party I drove her home and we talked for a few before I left and headed back to base. So far I had a broken taillight and a new friend. The question that had nagged me and still does at times was what was it about me that such a beautiful and great girl even bothered talking to me. Today is what it is. A lot has changed and some things never will. One thing that will remain forever in my mind whether I am back in the states, here in Iraq, or in the future in Afghanistan. That smile burned not into my memory but into my heart and soul. I have never loved a woman more. And never will again. God can only do me justice in life by making sure that she lives a happy life for all time. No matter what that first smile will guide me through any darkness.

Another day seems to pass by in the desert as it has for hundreds if not thousand of years,
Except the crunch of gravel and sand as a 2 ton frag 4 tuned up humvee races down another street in Iraq,
no surprise to see this in Iraq since the US led invasion in 2003,
same **** different day, otherwise known to soldiers as SSDD syndrome,
only this day would forever change lives,
the flash was white hot and the melting metal was proof enough of the sheer explosivness of the improvised explosive device,
the blast enough to let Iraqis living miles away look up to see the smoke,
they never heard the screaming though,
but the soldiers did as they raced to what was left of the humvee,
three dead upon impact,
a fourth lay screaming on the ground with what was left of the rest of his legs still in the passenger seat,
medics on  the ground did good and saved the poor soul,
his screams would fill the Iraqi night for for hours,
a short chopper ride to Baghdad Hospital,
they docs put his feet on ice, quite literally,
more than ten hours of surgery and the legs were sewn back on, but this soldiers fight was over,
a flight on the first plane to Ramstein Air Base Germany,
but the doctors cant do anything for this man,
he needs propers medical care,
send him home to Fort Bragg,
Womack Army Hospital,
doctors are optimistic as they tell this hero he will live but his days in the Army are over,
the tears are unexplainable as he pleads with the doctors to **** him
he doesnt want to live,
he may never walk again, he is a freak, his fiancee wants nothing to do with a *******,
over a week the soldier tries everything he can,
pulling out IVs,
injecting his blood stream with air filled needles,
his screams keep the other patients awake during the cold nights,
his crying during the day a constant reminder of the hell that only those who have lived it can ever know,
a week passes by, at least one suicide attempt a day,
then the soldiers fiancee arrives,
the crying becomes unstoppable as he pleads for her to leave him, not to look at his crippled body, that he wishes to die,'
why? she asks,
the question stops his tears,
why? she repeats,
because I am a ******* I may never walk again,
so? she asks, calling in the doctor,
the doctor arrives to find the soldier in tears and the meanest scowl ever seen on a woman,
doctor she asks, so he may never walk correct?
thats correct the doctor replies,
can he still have ***? she asks,
the doctor is stumped by the question and stumbles as he replies, well....yea its only his legs not his *****,
the fiancee looks at her soldier,
well then why the hell are you crying? as long as we can still have *** I am not leaving you!
the soldier sobs uncontrolably as his future wife holds him dearly,
the smiles on the other patients outwardly happy for the both of them,
then dinner arrives, the fiancee freaks out,
throwing the food across the room and storming from the hospital,
the soldier believing she had finally realized he was a *******, sobs once more,
the patients, doctors and nurses stumped,
another suicide attempt made,
thrity minutes pass,
the fiancee arrives, carrying a Dominos pizaa,
she holds him closely as she says he cant eat hospital food anymore,
he needs to eat right so that he can walk again,
and so comes a miracle through pain.

NO **** people this is a true story i witnessed myself in the Womack Army Hosptial roughly early 2006. It was a beautiful sight to see, and any man would consider himself blessed to be with what I can only describe as a miracle and the truest woman alive. That soldier deserved nothing less, oh, and he did walk again.

Many have walked the path of life only to be cut down violently. I can hear the voices of the dead whispering their last words. A trace of their souls forever stationary in time. Can you walk past a graveyard of white crosses protecting those who fought for freedom. When you do do your eyes remain level and thank whoever it is that you pray to that such men lived. We should not be thankful that such men died for freedom but rather we should be grateful that such men lived. Or when you walk past that graveyard do your eyes blur as if you see right past the lost selfishly thinking better them than yourself. I say let the voices of the dead ring into the stillness of the night and awaken every living person. Let the voices chastise and haunt the living. Let the living know that we are still here and we must act. We can no longer sit back as if the world  does not concern us. As if the spread of disease and death across the African continent is someone else's problem. As if the slaughter in Cambodia and Vietnam are but the problems of tribal people. Or the slave trade which runs rampant in South America along with the disease of man into madness of drugs. Or the constant gang warfare which spreads in our own nation. Are these gangs any different then the very terrorist which we fight in the middle east. They **** and terrorise in the hopes of personal glory and living a lustful selfish life. Let us put an end to the ******* and apathy which reside in the so called European Union. Which cares nothing of the problems of the world, which vetos every vote to make the world a little safer. Or the starvation of the North Koreans under the madness of the tyrannt. The oppression of so many people in the middle east by by the hands of their masters. Treating their women as mear slaves to which to repopulate the country, tools of breeding. Using their children as instruments of warfare. Is that what we fight for. Is that what the dead whisper, or rather are the dead tired of the living ****. Listen closely and you will hear the dead speaking into the realm of time and history.

I SIT AND WAIT FOR MY PREY, PERCHED IN A TREE WAITING TO POUNCE
BIRDS CHIRP ALL AROUND, BUGS CLICK THEIR PINCERS BENEATH ME
I LISTEN FOR THE SOUNDS OF MY PREY
A BREEXE RUSTLES THE LEAVES
A FEW ACORNS FALL TO THE FOREST FLOOR
THE BREEZE TURNS INTO A LIGHT WIND
I AM DISTRACTED BY THE WIND NOW
I LISTEN TO THE CRACKLING OF THE LEAVES
WATCH THE SWAYING OF THE TREES
I AM DISTRACTED BY THE TREE NOISES
SO DISTRACTED THAT I DO NOT KNOW
I DO NOT REALISE THE SILENCE THAT HAS FALLEN
NO MORE BIRDS CHIRPING
PINCERS NO LONGER CLICKING
IF I HAD NOT BEEN DISTRACTED I WOULD HAVE KNOWN
THE SIDES HAVE CHANGED
THE HUNTER IS NOW THE HUNTED
IT WAS OVER AS FAST AS IT BEGAN
A FAST DROP AND SUDDEN STOP
LEFT TO DIE I WAIT FOR THE END
LISTENING…..LISTENING TO THE WIND IN THE OAKS
A BEAUTIFUL SOUND TO ME
YET MY GREATEST WEAKNESS
MY OWN PERSONAL DOWNFALL
LISTENING TO THE WIND IN THE OAKS.

For all the boasts of man we are still unable to win the simplest of arguments,
when God created man in his image it was good,
but as he is the Lord and the all knowing,
he knew what man could never have obtained himself,
man is useless without woman,
Wars have been waged for women,
One of the most powerful empires, Troy,
came to its end for their ignorance,
as their prince stole another mans wife,
some would argue that the Caesars of Rome were led to destruction by the self indulgence of their lust,
they should have listened to their wife’s,
and now as times have progressed nothing has changed,
man is still lost without a woman,
the most powerful warrior can fall to his knees for the woman he loves,
the most powerful woman can raise an Army,
Liunitus died with 300.
his wife lived with thousands,
no matter how far we come we continue to fall on our ***,
want to see a man in love,
go to the woman’s department in a store and see a man holding a purse,
looking lost but whole,
women are all and everything we need,
so why is it so hard to find the right one,
why is is man will fight over one woman when there are millions
I have searched for years, and still not found what I am looking for,
like cloudless rains my days remain dark,
women are the sunlight that brightens the day,
and with everyone that passes me by the glare becomes harder to take in,
are you the one,
will you be the warmth to the cold,
will you be the light  to the darkness,
can I stop my search,
can I pick up the pieces of my heart and put them in your palm,
can I see me ten years from now being daddy,
can I be your wall, can I part the clouds for you, showing you nothing but rainbows,
being around you changes everything,
the morning sounds as the birds chirp float through my window,
the food I eat makes me happy, the smell of your shampoo is something I will never forget,
and when the sands come in and i am freezing in the mountains,
staring across distant lands, will you be there in my heart,
I want to be in yours, so bad, all you have to do is let me help you,
to show you that this man will fall for none other than you,
I will do so willingly,
I will build bridges and tear down walls in this world,
if only you are with me,
I will change who I am if it helps you feel how I feel,
I will save the world, or I will carry it,
no problem to hard to solve, no weight to heavy,
I will do it all for a woman who can make even the Gods fall

As  the days pass by in a swirling motion of blurred images,
I sometimes wonder is there anything in this world that will catch my eye,
I begin my day in the early morning hours before the sun ever rises to warm the day,
And they do not end on most days till the sun has already retreated hiding beneath the horizon,
And then one day there was you,
Early before  I could feel the brightness of the sun,
I could not explain the feeling in my body,
You are the brightness to my dark days,
As the sun you are to me,
I feel you light up the day,
But without the harshness,
You warm up the soul, and enter it quickly,
But are not unwelcome,
Your smile does not betray or deciet,
But rather inspires,
Even with all this saddness and hate,
Your smile awakens an old flame, an old smile,
A hope,
A hope that not everything has fallen to abuse or lust,
But rather an innocent love,
No questions no answers,
Not a simultaneous crush or a flame to be tickled,
But an unconditional love,
Just a knowledge that you have already saved me,
Saved me from taking a leap into the abyss,
You are my everything,
You may or may not know it,
Not until you catch my eye,
That will be when I tell you all,
Through a glance of chance,
I will open my soul and pour it into your heart,
You are my soul,
You are to me everything that is right and holy,
And if you allow it I will be your stars,
I will shine brightly for you,
So that you may never be afraid of the dark,
For you are the sun which brightens my world already.