I saw a roulette table marked Zxndxk Fxrm. It looked like people were making big bets. So I immediately ran up, bet my soul and all the time and valuables I could fit in my hands on Red-14. An old man made a speech about living in the moment as the wheel spun and the ball bounced away from Red-14 permanently.

He was catatonic, paralyzed, amputated and lazy
But the fate of Schrödinger's cat was driving him ******* crazy

Daddy's **** is pure muscle
Swimming tirelessly
Looking for something
To Bite

Please PM me the meaning of life.
I promise I won't tell anyone else.
Unless you want me to.
I don't believe any of these guys selling their
Self-serving stories.
Just tell me
Right to my own brain,
Please.

Being formed and alive
Is a lonely, hard concentration of energy.
But effortless flowing  ease
Upon dissolving into the Everything Sea.

They force-feed me REO Speedwagon because my kids said I love Pink Floyd
And say I'm disgusting when I beat it
I'm trying to learn from the future
But I guess I'm doomed to repeat it

Now he walks around craving approval from idiot ****
And it's so below him and they'll never notice him
Like a once-proud vampire posting blank selfies
Trying to be seen

The tea leaves
Are surprised
How worried you are
about termination
Of life you
Seem to resent
So much of

Different than a comfort enthusiast
This drive
Being my main motivator,
I have discerned its agenda
Like a sudent or a detective
Over time as its preferences
Emanate from me

Say something
Then later
The “me” act
Seems so fake

This will be next
“Why did I write that fake bs?”

Hate my marriage
And
Wouldn't give it up
For the world

I rolled the dice and scored average
Still lucky to be alive
In our agreement
To hate & love
Together,
I guess

Either cured all my cancer
Got a brain eating algae
Or something in between

Un-asked-for favors
Not that it was wanted but for the fear to ask
But that nothing was desired.
nothing

Ready for the swirl
Not afraid of fast, ugly, disgusting
Reality.
With the goofy grin of
Puzzled euphoria,
I rush through the tube.
Everything is on parade,
Smooshed and swirled beyond individuality or recognition.
I don't mind.
Why have preferences?
It's all getting in the <divided by zero>
Parade anyway.

To keep at it like it's worth it
Like effort pays off
That this being is competant and worthwhile
Getting out of bed will be better
Than not.
It keeps sending broadcasts
Rationalizing
Justifying
Me
So I guess that's
Nice.

Thanks, ego.

(I also have a whole team in here working against the guy so this "believe in yourself" stuff doesn't get out of hand)

Damp and windy
It's so 33
Like it just fine
As it's not up to me

Trying to learn to talk
In a way that you can hear

We drew our conclusions
The misshapen stick figures
Were not wrong or right
Just a result of poor eyesight
And limited artistic skill

Temporary
Objects
In the field

Something is feeding
On the unwinding of stuff
In the field

Entropy
Yum

You made me promise to lie
You made me promise I'd sneak
But my only way to stay true
Is making your promise
But refusing to keep

alone longing for love
[sweet

everything
in
between

spot]
together longing for autonomy

Every empire crumbles eventually
Nobody's good luck streak goes forever anyway
I guess we just wanted to hit
The fast forward button

One of the luckiest things
To realize it's a nice dream
Yet stay asleep and keep in

Studies confirm we're doomed
And it's probably coming soon
Time for everything to recombine
Reunite the earth and the moon
Back before all this crazy ******* started
Like life forms stinking the place up
A world filled without biology
Is a tranquil, zen, runneth-ed over cup!
Bring on the recombobulation
Let the cosmic plow-blade hit this ground
Jesse and girl, please help find him a woman like that
Or just let Rick Springfield play around

First is everything, just being
Then something thinks
"I am"
Makes sense, I guess
But it could be so much *******

Black hole
Feeds

I was possessed by a spirit as a child
His desires and style still echo through my halls
If I I know he would laugh at something
Then my self laughs.
I desire what my self knows
He ought to desire.
Driving his robot,
Missing the spirit.

The love of
my two grandmas
three dogs
and two cult leaders
who are dead
and the love of
four ex's
and five or six best friends
who are just gone

I ruin everything
I fear I'll forget how to be me
It seems to be not up to me whether I do or not
So it'll probably be ok
I keep getting mad and sad at pretty much
The same stuff
Familiar things make "me" happy
Even when I don't try

Dearly Beloved, I (being of sound mind) have no hope about racism, war, or the environment. I couldn't bear to tell you while I was alive. Sorry but that's It kids.

Right in the gut
Right in the face
You said how you saw me
I fell out of place

At the juncture of <total surrender> & <trying to do it perfectly>

As a matter of fact, nothing matters at all
As a matter of opinion, I love it all

If my inside secret radio ever changes its tune
I promise to never pass that on to you'n

Mostly a head
With a big absorbing sensing *****
At the mouth
A great column conveys into her perceiver
And keeps moving through
The back of her head
Into a distant vanishing point
Everything is stretched and smooshed
In the yellow umbilical column
All the information from each moment
Runs down the column into her
She feeds and reads the information
Time moves for her to be nourished
With all that happens
In our world which generates the information
She consumes.

To not be heard

It's not her ears

Some voice sounds happen
And she responds
To what she decided was said.

He looks confused
Yelling
Crying
Speaking slow
Nothing works
His actual words will never be heard
By her

Hungry again?
She's always hungry.

Initial conditions make choices for me
Right handed heterosexual going clockwise
In a swirl of ***
Add an r and you got a peer
Just go ahead and add an s too
Peers

I love his lyrics
I love his music
I love his charisma
Or whatever that
******* is
That makes me love

That guy was always in a rush to let his guard down
"Pleased to meet you. Here's the soft part of my throat."
It was some kind of defense or offense
Same close or at a distance
If that didn't work
He was losing anyway

Nothing, Everything, and Time

Dog *****
Cat barfs
Child wins

Some of the ***** sink
And some of the **** floats
But when one plunges sinkers
They squish, smear, and combine
And the plunger comes out
Pretty gross

ALL CAPS
(with a parenthetical way out)

If it stays up
Jolting itself with embaressed
Remembering of the day's interactions,
That's the real me.

Bored of being one with the uber-mega-multiverse?
Become an Individual® !!!
Try to "do something"
Live, Die, Consume Energy, Expel Waste!
Reproduce!
Have preferences!
Temporary Duration Guaranteed!

John Lennon said it
Too

It was a sham.
I guess I'm dumb.
I joined a cult.
I really did.
I thought I was smart.
I joined a cult
And stayed seventeen years.
And had children.
And gave my kids and my own youth to a cult.
I can finally swallow it.
The fact!
They didn't love me.
They used me up.
Me, like a masochistic **** actress.
Eager to be used, hungry to be ruined.

I'm lucky I'm ok.
It's not because I'm smart.
Or really changed
I wish to give myself
So thoroughly.
I wish a cult would love me for my absolute abandon
Of self.

Fell down three flights of stairs
And that wasn't a bad trip
Compared to where I went last night

Three drops of medicine,
My best girl, my best friend,
And I took room four for a ride

Complicated frustration
Mixed well with dilation
Though two were cut,
One was not dry

I tried to look down
From the synesthesia sound
As their eye contact
Distance drew nigh

I'd talk feelings and thoughts till the dawn
I walk out if my whole life goes wrong
I'll skip this session
That doorknob looks ripe
I'll be back in a minute

Goodnight

Real love
And the required
Blood essence sacrificed
To keep it live
And the horrible things learned
Of self and others

My love of nothing is practical,
Not just clever.
Nothing matters more than ever.