My words start a sentence
Then they run away
I don't know if I discombobulated them out of shape
With drugs
Or chased away second halves of my thoughts
Back when I pulled the trigger
And convinced myself
About the futilty loop

Hold him still so the blade doesn't slip
Just take a little off the tip

To not be heard

It's not her ears

Some voice sounds happen
And she responds
To what she decided was said.

He looks confused
Yelling
Crying
Speaking slow
Nothing works
His actual words will never be heard
By her

Fixate on beauty
You hateful ****
Love
LOVE you weak
Nothing
Love

Suicidal in slow-motion
Anxiously dreading death
Alternating between
Hating every thing
And
Clinging to each breath

Right NOW
Right ******* NOW
NOW

Dorothy went home without the scarecrow
And
I think I miss my medication most of all.
Eating radiated rats and roaches is kinda harsh
But
Raw-******* reality, chemically
Frightens me.
My mind lacks essential ingredients
To make sense of this madness