Walk in full of anxiousness
Take a look around
Wonder how you got there
When you got there
What do you do now
Do you continue on
Do you walk away
Let saw you take the unknown
Take a big step
Wipe your brow
And drive in

I never had            rose petals
placed in my head
or a *******
                         sappy romance
just concrete
bricks
scraping my back
every time your
body
tensed up and swayed
the thoughts
the dead leaves
left alone
to wash down
the drain or
sink into the Earth

I often wonder how
it would've been if
I had
tried to say no
instead of not saying
yes

If I could I'd
walk away
And I wouldn't even
think
twice
if I could I
would let go of
my heart
Because I know it
feels too much
For every
dying being around
Me (they are really just
Pests)
But for some
Reason I like
Malnourishing
My heart
for some reason
I like
to hurt
And maybe
Just maybe
In 23 hours
I'll be able to
Leave
To walk away from
You

Its more likely
that I wont

There are always pieces missing
Something left unknown
To leave one reaming
draining the fruits left forlorn

Turning stone to find bugs as if the plane was rigged
Creepy crawling scarecrows up the stage inside my head
As I begin double taking every passing thought
An inception reflection hurling me to push on
Changing every pattern in the hopes for true starts

An opposition forms inside my bleeding heart
A rejection for the progression of doomsdays little songs
Trust that when you're not looking you're a part of catering business
and in our world today it truly is survival of the fittest

In breath taking moments clarity strikes me hard
In setting myself apart I feel less hallmark
I do not adapt to the world at large for I am small town garb
I'd rather adapt to space than aim to please like stars

The shivers descends down my spine
The coldness creeps up one you
Before you know it
The liquid nitrogen fills you
It courses through your veins
Your lungs start to feel heavy
Coldness Caresses you heart
CRACK! You're shattered
Millions of pieces
Never to be put together again
-Jenneil Lewin

"Try it out." he said
And my stomach
tangled with my brain
hunger
consumed me
but not the other
way around

we had always been
unvarnished
and mostly untouched
but then
I crept into the
basement of my
halfway thoughts
and there I wished
to hear him
one more
time

but I knew
his pale,
blue moon voice
had been lost
and I knew
the past could
only feel good once
and cigarettes couldn't
be smoked twice

I knew better
but still
   it came as such a surprise
that each fraudulent feeling
wouldn't seep the same
and even through
your stumbling words
I could tell
that you meant
well