I find myself watching
movies for the purpose
of having something I
can relate to you about
the composition in
American ****** is
amazing Or asking
what video game you
think I should buy, I
remember your punctuation
and you use none in your
replies, I'm beyond being
in love with you, so i don't
understand why i'm still
trying to be your
perfect
girl.

I would never build
her of my problems
I'd understand why
all inventions hate their creators
trying to do for the good of themselves
others, if they contribute
but i would build
her of my problems
then maybe i could
make it work

has your heartbeat ever taken your body
in silence where it shakes your limbs
your chest lifts with pulses
sheets cinch under your hips
I can't be sure my heart isn't an earthquake
at night, when everyone's asleep
the only thing that keeps me awake
is the steady pump and tick.

There are these christmas lights in
my room, and for a time I was bothered by the one
blue light that was out, and when I
had friends over, this friend,
she said,
Oh, but there are many lights out,
don't you see the one over there?
And here, above my head?
The one by your bookcase?
To be honest, I was a bit heartbroken to have not seen
the others, and now I can't help but notice
to count, and realize that so many of them
are dead.

I am afraid to tell
people that I have
no friends, because
I am afraid to lose
them too.

Elles me disent
that if I don't try hard enough
i will never be perfect enough for anyone
but I have enough hope to have faith
that for someone I won't
have to try
at all

I would like to
go to that place
where you are
in the sun, where
we are maybe like souls
without bodies
stolen in the wind

There was this dream
peaches, grapes, the ocean
a wind that spoke in salty whispers
my skin looked real, my laugh was real
Oh God, please let me make it to the water
Let me make it down the hill
but when i turned around
a black dog was chasing me
it could have been a bear
i woke up saying
no
no
no
in a dark room

everything, ever'one and they mama
remind me of you
god******
songs you never even sang
and every western movie that doesn't
star Wayne (I kept him for myself)
people drop you in
conversation real casual like
and I still go a little cold
like someone done pour
icewater down the back of my neck
but I can't admit to how much
it still hurts to talk about you
'cause that would be some ***** ****
so I smile and let you roll off my tongue
as if there's not a single thing in the world
that tug at my heartstrings anymore but
you still do


you still do.

maybe i used it as an excuse
the way children try their parents
by dangling or taunting

once at Louies when Sherry asked
me how much I drank, I told her I didn't--
before then it had never occurred to me
to do so, I had never had
a faulty plan to fall back on
it had always just been me
facing the consequences
rain or shine

Back then, she told me oh, well that'll change.
like some sort of ill-will, black words spoken
over me, you'd say she meant no harm
but why speak that out
over the softer things?

maybe it was now or never,
a lesson that had to be had
and this was the only way--
Kelsie said it just sort of happens
and I wanted to tell her, no, it doesn't.
it doesn't just sort of happen.
I wanted to tell her that he probably didn't
regret ******* her but he regretted me
as a whole, holding him down
and whimpering that I loved him

no, it doesn't just sort of happen
I remember everything,
and drunkenness is not an excuse.

do you ever
feel like maybe
you need to shake
out your skin like a rug