Danger……
There are some different types
dangerous strangers
Dangerous monsters
Dangerous family
Dangerous friends
Dangerous dangers
                 I never assumed the dangers would come from with in
                 I prepared myself for the dangers that would come
                 The onslaught of fears that would come for me
                 Then the dangers started to creep in and i couldn’t fight them
                 They seeped from my bones and into my heart
I wasn’t prepared for these dangers so i wasn’t able to stop them from taking control
Couldn’t stop them from killing my heart and soul

I need therapy
I’ve needed therapy since sixth grade
Sixth grade
When i first needed help i didn’t tell anybody
I kept it all inside and nobody noticed
I figured if people though i was okay then maybe i really was
Then i got worse, caved into myself
Eighth grade
Mom i think i should talk to some, i just always feel off
          You’re so gay
I’ll look into therapists
          You thinks she’s hot
Now
Mom i want to see a therapist
          I just wanna get things straight literally and figuratively
I’ll into it for you can it wait until summer, is it a long term thing?
          Just take a joke, learn how to laugh

No i will not learn to laugh i will not take a joke my identity, my sanity is not something you get to joke about

My life is not some big show for you to watch and critic when it doesn’t fight what makes you comfortable

i used to wish to be a WRITER
so i wrote
i wrote stories of love and happiness
i wrote tales of adventure and bravery
but then i fell
deep into the rabbit hole
when i finally came back
my stories……
my stories were no longer happy and free
my stories became tales of fear,
                                      pain,
                                      sadness
i used to wish to be a WRITER
but now i wish to be free of sentences, words, letters
i wish to be free of that which haunts me
i fell deep into the rabbit hole and i never truly came back
i’m still trapped
shadows still follow me
my shadow’s not mine anymore
once i became a WRITER
i gave up my soul to stories
i no longer want to be one

Trending……
i had a poem that was…… trending……
at first i was happy MY poem was…… Trending!
but then i thought……
why should MY pain be…… trending……
why should MY scars be…… trending……
why should people applaud to MY pain
why……
why……
why……
Trending……

my cries for help are  loud
but you don’t hear
my cries don’t breach the surface
i’m six feet under and dying
my cries get stuck in my throat
slowly my cries choke me
my cries are killing me
i’m dying and my only company is
my cries
after awhile my breath slows and someone has finally heard
my cries
as i’m encases in light i’m no longer in pain i’m finally free

I’ve stopped
Stopped caring and questioning
Stopped looking back
Stopped looking forward
Now i’m too focused on staying alive
I’m too focused on trying to act normal
For you
I have to be normal
For you
I have to be who I was
For you
I have to be perfect
For you

my body is the canvas of my pain
i use one color red

i paint my words of hate in to my body
never to be forgotten
my red seeps into my soul

i hide my art from the world
the world wouldn’t understand the complexity of my art
my art is for those who have similar art     or     those who were artists in the past

soon my canvas will be full    but    my art will not be finished
                                          
it will never be finished