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It seems to me that the happiest people are people who barley have the,( I won't say necessities because that would mean to much to most of us in the US), let's say people who barley scrap by. Every day is a challenge to scrap up enough to eat and drink. These people seem to be closer to their families. They laugh more. They share more. They know what is in their brothers heart as well as what is in their own. They live a simple life spiritually and a hard life physically. No TV, no media, no Hollywood. Sometimes I wish I lived somewhere like Ethiopia or a hundred other places on this earth not bombarded every minute of every day with things. THINGS that are not important. To live where just to survive the day and have people to rejoice in that survival with is enough. Body and soul I long for the happiness that comes from a day well lived. We have become a nation that knows not how to live but how to be entertained. We never slow down to feel what's in our heart or to feed our souls. If we never listen to what is in our own heart how can we know what is in another heart. Oh just to live and not to judge. Is that possible? Can it be possible when we are bombarded with the latest, the greatest, the best of fashion, phone, game, religion? Who knows what I could do if I didn't have everyone telling me who or what I should be. And believe me it changes daily.  We all look at these " less fortunate" people on TV or in a magazine and we feel sorry for them when it is ourselves that we must feel sorry for. What is to become of us. We are a most intriguing people, we who have done so many amazing things, and yet most of us feel sad or lonely. Yes, you have a beautiful home. Yes, you have people who love you. But wait, how do you know they love you?.....well of course they love you, their suppose to love you, after all you love them.....right. I mean that's the way the story goes....right?  You know the story, the one you saw on Lifetime yesterday, while your loved ones were doing....ah what were they doing? Oh yes, your son was playing that new game, you know " **** Zombie ****" on that PlayStation or Nintendo or something like that, and your daughter was at the mall buying the latest thing to make her feel beautiful, and your husband was.....well he was doing something on the computer. How can you love someone if you don't know who they are. How can you love someone if you don't know who you are. All of this technology may be bringing the world closer but who needs to know the world when they don't even know their own family....,or their next door neighbor, the one that shot himself yesterday. No one knows why.  Please people , I beg you, put down the phone turn off the TV, go out on a date( not at the movies), but somewhere you can talk and get to know each other. And if you don't know what to say just say what's in your heart. After all that is what truly matters.  If you can realize that most of the things in your life are meaningless then you too can have a life well lived. In the end isn't that all that matters.  So for now I am signing out and switching off, and tuning in to my life.  For all I wish is to have a life well lived.
 Oct 2013 Broken Lights
thea
holding
 Oct 2013 Broken Lights
thea
...and so I held her. As the tears continued to spill from her eyes, I held her.
Wrapping my arms around her as if to keep her from falling apart.
I ran my fingers through her hair as I whispered over and over

"I love you.
And it's
gonna
be
okay
."
 Oct 2013 Broken Lights
thea
stupid boy,
i hope you know what you're getting into
because by uttering those three simple words,
you have managed to own me 
you were able to take the guitar from my hands
and make me the one to listen 

stupid boy,
I hope you are gentle and careful
because by making me feel secure in your arms,
my world is now situated in your hands
and one wrong twitch of your fingers
may touch a crack
which will break me even more

stupid boy,
i hope you're ready to be awoken from your deep slumbers
and know how to comfort a crying girl
because you'll have to hold me,
as I shake and sob at 2 am 
from the nightmares 
caused by the monsters in my head

stupid boy,
i hope you're ready to listen
because with the way you can make me sway with your words,
poetry will be flowing out of my mouth
like a waterfall of letters 
a whirlpool of emotions in every phrase 

stupid boy,
i hope you won't have second thoughts
or just simply run away
because when you strip me of all the glamourous facades
you'll see fresh battle wounds 
the body of your beloved is a warzone scattered with bullets

stupid boy,
i hope you're not easily disgusted by grime
because the skin that you want your lips upon is filth
and the cracks on my body may be bleeding
please clean these patches of dirt 
and fill the emptiness which is my whole being

stupid boy,
i hope you know that you fell in love with a broken girl
because I'm not like those pretty ones in the movies
my skin is blood-stained and my face is tear-soaked
i have no idea on what love feels like 
and to give it back in return
so please give me time to learn

stupid boy,
i hope you're good with words
because every day i am going to ask you
"why me?"
and i need you to make me understand
explain to me in detail
why you settled for a girl like me
when you could have gone for so many others
the ones who don't need fixing 
or assurance that they are beautiful
unlike how i am

stupid boy,
i hope you know that this stupid girl loves you too
even though i'll never really understand
why you chose me
or how i can return back the same amount of love that you make me feel,
i want you to know 
that if the only reason we're together
is because we're stupid,
then we'll be idiots forever
 Oct 2013 Broken Lights
thea
exposed
 Oct 2013 Broken Lights
thea
i hope you know what i'm feeling right now
i feel invaded
my poems contain the thoughts of my soul
this was the place where i can be myself
but now i know you just read the lines on my palm
traced them with your own pen
and covered my own thoughts

for a moment 
this was a place where i can feel safe
where the honest words of my mind
will easily pour out
with no fear of being judged
all lies and pretentiousness washed away

in a short span of time
my walls broke down in this place
this land became the pages of my diary
but it breaks me to know
that you have just drunk in my secrets
picked up the words in your hand
and threw them to the ground
for all to step on

every minute that passes by
makes me crumble even more
because i know
that in the spaces between these seconds
you are stripping me of my skin 
baring the forbidden siren of my soul 
for your ears to dwell upon

you gave me no choice
but to expose myself
hand you the title of my property
wrapped in a silver envelope
along with the scraped poetry from my own skin
leaving me with nothing else to hang onto
you took the reason why
i still held
so maybe this is a sign for me
to let go

once again
you have managed to lock me back inside a cage
without even knowing
you have once again claimed the only land 
where my body and soul 
already built a haven of security on
you dug your way into my being
grabbing the only parts of me left
my secrets
and so now
when your eyes try to look into my soul
and read the tattoos carved onto its barrier
you will only see the marks 
from the sting of tears in my eyes
because you have trespassed
on my holy land
tore the guard house down
brick by brick
crushing every fragment in the process
leaving me with nothing
but
dust

— The End —