On the other side of the room sits one single angel.
Through the crowds walking to class,
stands one single angle.

                                                                 Just one single angel,
One single angel shines brighter than any other.
The angel sits just across from me.
That one single angel that does not know of my existence.
There is one single angel I will never have.

                                                                 Just one single angel,
There I see that angel.
That angel for the first time stares back at me.
That angel smiles. He waves and smiles at me.
That one single angel gets up and sits next to me.
That one single angel admits his true feelings.
That one single angel becomes mine.

                                                                Just one single angel,
Now on the other side of the room sits no angel.
Not the one single angle I once knew.
This one single angel has turned cold and dark.
He is no longer the brightest angel in the crowd.
He is one single angel that will never be mine again.
The one single angel I will never want again.

                                                               Just one single angel.

The worst pain in te world is missing someone.
Knowing they could be happy without you.
That they may not even remember you.
The worst pain in the world is missing someone.
I miss you right now.
And I'm in a lot of pain right now.

At some point you just can't take it anymore.
At some point you don't want to be used anymore.
You want to know what it feels like to be loved.
At some point you wonder if you could even love someone.
You wonder if your heart would trust them.
You wonder if the only thing you know how to do, is be used.
That you may have turned into the people who hurt you.
At some point you decide you just need to be alone for awhile.
Away from the people who used you.
And the people who want you to be theirs for along time.

I don't know when or why but it happened.
And I'm sorry it did.
I don't know what not struggling looks like.
I don't know how it feels for all my hard work to pay off.
I know how it feels to succeed.
It's the best feeling but it goes away the next day.
There is nothing I can do about it.
You know sometimes I wish I was just lazy.
I know it sounds stupid but if I was just lazy I could fix it.
But I can't fix my chemically unbalanced brain.
One day maybe things will work themselves out.
But until then I will take my medication three times a day.
Hoping it will change things but it never really changes ****.
It helps but it doesn't make things better.
I think it's the failure and the worry the makes it hurt.
The worry of graduating and getting into college. I think that's what makes it hurt the most

The world will bring u back down when u have  finally gotten back up.
The world will give u what u want and take it back.
The world won't stop doing this for along time.
When things go bad cry, smile and get back up.
Stare at the wall for awhile and then get back to work.
Because the world will see your a fighter and won't let certain events keep u down.
It will test you and test you.
But at some point, even if just for a short time.
It will give you your silver lining you fought for.
Never say you can't fight back because I know that's not true.
Listen to my story you will never give up again.

To be honest I've gone crazy.
You could say this is my way of coping.
Maybe me turning into a bad *** is me dealing with pain.
Or I'm just changing into the person I need to be.
Maybe I'm going alittle crazy.
Cussing at my teachers and any adult I can find to yell at.
Maybe that's just the true me.
Or maybe my anger I have bottled up is finally coming out.
Maybe I'm going crazy telling every man I want him so bad.
Making every high school boy I think is cute want me. Showing them how much of a good time I am.
Maybe I'm going crazy or I've become the person I really am.
I could be crazy but I'm happy because I just don't give a f* anymore.
Mainly I think it's the anger coming out of me.
From of all the years of pain from listening to others.
So have I turned wild or crazy?
Maybe and maybe not.
I'm just the creation of a messed up society.

I always believe that people can restart.
But others don't.
I believe in second chances.
Others don't.
I understand and are patience with people.
But people aren't with me.
I wish people could just treat me like I treat them.

I want you in the deepest way.
Ever since I have met you something sparked inside me.
For the first time I just want one person, you.
I was scared at first.
I could not trust you but you said a few words.
I knew you weren't the jerks that used me.
I want you the deepest way.
I only want you because you sparked something inside me that had died.
You gave me the ability to feel and love again without feeling like i was going to get hurt in the end.
I never stop smiling now.
I swear!
You gave me my heart back.

How deep would I fight for you?
How long would I fight for you?
Would you fight for me?
No I don't think you would
but I wish you would.
I you could see through my eyes, see how much I would fight for you.
How  deep my love for you was.
How much it ran through my vains.
Would you love me that much?
No, you would never love me that much.
I hate that you won't love me like I love you.
But, I won't force you to be around me.
I had fun... I won't lie..... you showed me a world that I never thought I would see.
In the end I would want to be with you forever.
But we are never to be and I'm sorry.
Your last words to me were "I'm sorry"
So I'm sorry too.
Really sorry it did not work out.
My last words too him was  "That's too bad... whatever."
I loved you and I'm moving on.
Thanks for being part of the my journey.

The price to love is pain in the end.
Love never ends well.
Someone always gets hurt
someone always gets the short end of the stick.
This time I'm leaving so you can't **** my heart.
I love you but I can't trust you.
I guess it's so long and good-bye and I know this will hurt me more then you.

I never knew my heart could feel this way.
That it could beat this way.
After so many times of being used I never thought my heart could trust someone.
My heart never questioned you
it just felt.
I never knew I could feel like this.
I never knew what love felt like.

I never understood why you came into my life.
I never understood why someone who brought me pain would be in my life. But after it was all said and done I understood.
I could see why.
Through the person who brought me pain
I would meet the better half of me.
I now understand the saying
"When one door closes another one opens"

The feeling of hearing your heart pump faster when I am next to you.
The feeling of my spirits rising when you smile at me.
The feeling of happiness when you say you miss me.
The feeling of greatness when you talk about your future.
The feeling of knowledge and understand when I come to you with my worries.
The feeling of love when you lift my head and kiss me.
The feeling of sadness and depression of wanting you back.
The feeling that you knowing you won't feel those things again.

What if life was a test.
A test for another life.
A test for your real life.
What if life was a test to make sure you could handle your real life that was to come.
I wonder that sometimes.
I wonder if this isn't my life but a test.
And if you pass you go to your real life.
I think a lot of us would do better the second time around.
We would be able to understand how to deal with issues, people, love and death.

Once again I had a sleepless night.
Once again you kept me up at night.
I had to talk too you.
I had to see you again.
I called you in the middle of the night and you answered the call.
He said he missed me and needed to see me.
I did not believe it at all.
He then told me how sorry he was for holding back how much he really needed me.
Not wanting to loose him again I told him I would take him back.
I understood what I was doing taking him back.
I was playing his little game.
A game that can never end.

I'm not sure if I miss you
or all the beautiful memories we had together.
How can I forget you if I want to remember all the journeys you took me on.
Sometimes I think,
do I miss you or the memory of you.

Do you want to change the world?
Do you  want to change peoples lives?
Do you want to put others before yourself?
You can not do all these things if you have unfinished business with yourself.
You must be content with who and what you are.
Then at that moment you can achieve great things.
You can then make a difference throughout your world.
Nothing great comes from the outside but from within.

The deeper I think
the deeper I fall.
The more I remember
the more I want to forget.
The more love
the more I hate.
The more I open my eyes
the more I want to close them.
The more I know
the less I understand.
The more I over look the situation
the more I regret.

I thought I would miss you forever.
I always thought the day we parted would be the worse day of my life.
It was, the first day and the second and two weeks after.
Just hearing your name made me burst into tears.
But one day not to long after the last day I saw you
I woke up and I did not even think of you.
All the songs I listened to no longer reminded me of you.
This went on for weeks.
Until one Summers day I saw you once again.
You said "Hello."
I said "Hey"
The way you looked at me reminded me of how you used too look at me.
It reminded me of how you looked at me when we first met.
Then I walked away.
I walked away because for the first time I knew I was finally over you.

Becoming perfect was my one goal in  my life.
Trying to become perfect cut me in pieces.
I was torn in pieces.
I became evil.
My positive perspective went away.
Becoming perfect was the worst goal I ever had.
In the  end none of it was worth it.
I found I was closer to being perfect when I was just being me.

I talked about you a lot.
I talked about you a lot in the weeks after we said good bye.
I talked about you a lot after our last good bye.
I always knew in my heart you never cared.
I knew this was true because you told me not to ever talk to you.
You told me you were looking for one thing only.
I talked about you to a friend.
I cried for hours.
Saying how I cared so much and he never did.
Then she told me  something I never saw coming.
she said " He always cared about you but you always seemed to push him away. I know for a fact he cared about you the whole time. I know because he told me."
From then on I hated myself for pushing him away and pretending I did not care.

Don't lie to me.
Don't make me jealous.
Don't make me hate you.
Don't allow us to break apart.
Please don't make me think you care
unless you really care.
Please don't talk to me unless you care.
Don't use me like you did before.
Be honest with me.
Be honest like you should have from the start.

I have heard many inspirational words in my life.
I have heard words that brought me to tears.
I have heard words that made me laugh and smile.
But they are nothing like these six words I'm about to tell you.
Never Let Them Take Your Soul.
Remember these words.
Because in some way you will find an answer to anything in your life.
Just with these simple words.

You could love me if I knew how to lie.
But I'm not crazy enough to change every inch of me for you.
The honest truth is you could not love me unless I lived a double life.
If I lied to become the person you wanted, you would love me for good.
But I'm not crazy enough to change myself for you.

I will always give you a second chance. There will never be time I won't forgive you.
There will never be time I won't take you back.
You could hurt me in so many ways but I will always give you another chance.
But you are the only one I will always forgive.
Because for some crazy reason I will always love you.
For me I will always care for you.