Scratch that.

I am vacant as a whole.
Emptied and used up,
bits of me carved out
and scattered all around in meaningless disarray.
I feel like I'm grasping at the edges,
to hold it all together in fear that
it'll all
cave
in.

That I'll prove to be a black hole
and wreak nothing but havoc.

But isn't that what I'm already doing?
Holding the edges together while
blindly pulling in whatever feels like it
just might fill the void...

When all I really want is all that's been
scattered to be replaced.
I don't want to just fill
emptiness.
I want to be whole.

the floor turned into something strange and i fell through the floor.
in the basement looking up at clouds and lightning; kinda frightening.
tried to climb the stairs to reach the surface; there was nothing there.
by nothing i mean clouds and air; not my sofa nor my chair.
an angel flew to me from somewhere; kicked me in the face.
"you can't be up here, stupid boy." it morphed into an octopus.
octopus and angels? what? did someone drug me in my sleep?
i sat atop my dryer contemplating what to do.
the floor beneath the dryer also transformed into something strange.
my dryer and i fell through the sky for twenty-seven minutes.
we landed in a cemetery; our parts were tossed amongst the graves.
the acid rain then melted every living thing on earth away.

Better stop
   before friendly arms
      are weighted with love
and do harm

Better stop
    the ruse,
       loads of lies
will not add up to truths

Better stop
     those sweet needy lips
        before touching
ends friendship

*you know it won't end well...

Reverberating within me
through the chasm you created
the pull between you here
and the fleeting

The nails dug into my back
fastened around my insides
carrying me away
the wind, forcing its way inside me

A curtain covering the chasm
to prevent exposure

Higher and higher I am taken

A dull vibration, steady only with walls between us

The naked weight of you
tears the curtain back
exposing the chasm
I am vulnerable

Nails unfurled
I'm in a free fall
air masses, resisting my presence

The pressure of your hands
the quickening of your breath

closer and closer I get to the ground