There are monsters in my head

And they plant poisonous seeds

That latch onto my inner core

Growing roots, so tight and unrelenting

And with every perishing breath I succumb to

The roots squeeze around my heart

As if their disgusting existence depended on

That evil task set before them

I have desperately turned to every source of happiness

I have ingested foreign substances in a

Pathetic attempt to banish these monsters

And their ****** poison seeds

But my options are rapidly crumbling

And the carcasses spite me as

The opposing force loots through

My once dominant empire

And in this moment I have realized

This infamous battle has taken sides with

The clenching roots, feeding them strength

So I raise my white flag and watch

As my insides are clawed at, ripped apart

And I suffer until my final breaths have

Promptly arrived and it is then and

Only then when these monsters peel their ungodly

Faces off that I come to find I am staring back into my own detached

Eyes, but it is too late to stop what I have done because my reality is

Slipping in and out of rationality

Until I am without a doubt vacant

And when the clock pronounces me finished

You will still smell my final moments

As I watch each and every mind replay

My descent with cold eyes and a

Gentle smile plastered with excuses like

The circumstances just weren’t right

*It’s no one’s fault but hers

I am thinking, like always
No filters or analyizing
Pure, raw, thoughts
Dancing together around a bonfire
The embers popping
and the smoke stings
But I am happy
And my mind is evidence
I'm thinking with no restrictions
And I know you are to blame
I am feeling orange today
Because I woke up before
My alarm; 7:05
And my mind is lighting
Sparklers because its the 4th of July
Even though it's November
Because right now
I am free

Remember the time
I only looked into your eyes?
How we’d smile and laugh
and sometimes cry?

I hoped that yours
would be the only eyes I’d ever see,
And that your eyes
would only ever see me.

But there are a lot of eyes,
Both here and there.
It was only a matter of time
until we each looked into another pair.

I’ve seen enough
and I’m just not impressed,
Because I’ve stared into the eyes
of the boy with the best.

The almond-shaped optics
that dress your face,
Even if I tried,
I could never replace.

So I dream about you
and my forehead touching yours,
And the way, from close up,
Your eyes look like the outdoors.

The green is the grass
and the blue is the sky,
And the black in the middle
Shows a reflection of my eye.

I look into a lot of eyes now,
Some brown and some blue.
But none could compare
to the ones belonging to you.

Remember the time
I only looked into yours?
Because from your eyes to mine
your love always pours.

Childhood dreams and visions
Adult realities and decisions
Hope and confidence
Despair and despondence
What was it
That turned a girl with the lightness of butterfly wings
Into a woman with a heart too full of heavy things
Was is bad choices
A head with too many voices
A whisper to God
The silence that echoed on
An endless leash to the past
Forever looking back
Unable to forgive
The life that she chose to live

There’s no rocky, narrow shoulders,
Lining each side of the highway,
Waiting for sets of tires to roll,
And pull over on.
There’s no rest stops,
Every few mile markers,
Offering you a place to stop,
And take a break from the same scenes.
A few too many sports cars,
Who’re just in a hurry,
Passing all the semis,
In a race to get to the finish.
No overhead signs for information,
Telling you which way to go.
Just one at the end of the journey,
Telling you that you’ve completed the drive.

I'll let you in,
Like I've never let anyone in before
I'll show you my scars
& worse, my wounds
I'll open you up to everything
what I don't even want you to have to see

You'll touch me,
send shivers down my body
& I'll take you for granted
like I'm supposed to

& we'll call it love

He knows I'm upset,
he knows it,
so what does he do?
he sticks his fingers in my wound,
and opens it,

And as I bleed, he shows no emotion,
doesn't pay attention to the downfall he caused,
because he's too busy worrying about himself,
to save me from bleeding out,

Or even to save me from myself..

You ask me whats wrong,
well how the **** should I know?
maybe, just maybe,
its the overflowing abyss of emotion that I can never show,

You've taken all of my outlets,
you even walk me to the busstop,
like I'm four,
but hey, how would you know?
I'm talking about all the emotions I don't show,
because I don't want you to know,
because you'll think I'm screaming for attention,
no, thats the last thing I want,

No more love, no more affection,
because you give me too much,
only to rob me of what I've got left
when you scream at me until I cry,
for one little mistake,

I tell you I'm sorry,
but what difference does it make,
none,
because the cycle goes on,
and I don't know how much more I can take,
how many more times can you stab me in the heart,
before it finally breaks?
how many more times can you open my wounds,
with your words as the blade?