It seems to me that I love you
and I'll show you this poem in a few months
when you ask me how I feel about you
or if by then you love me too
but maybe by then you'll have better things to do


your eyes are glossy and I sneak
a look and I layed my head near your neck
and shook while I feel your heartbeat against my cheek
and hopefully you'll hear me screaming in my head

*kiss me
kiss me
kiss me

and on my own I know I'm grown beaten down by hammers and drills my mind breaks from the pressure it takes to cry every time you say goodbye we will never be together I lie because I know what really hurts is my heart but my head feels fine without you because I am my own person and that's fine but the punishment fits the crime

give me a pill to rid these beautiful dreams
because I'm tired of the morning heart ache
for a formed future that does not exist

a warm glass of milk running down my throat like the half full half empty season of regret when out of no where it is my turn to mourn and through losing myself I've lost you wake up it's morning and you have to live another day and you know what?

I'm numb

since you left I've been drowning in your depth looking over lost memories far too often
I keep finding myself aloof between tickets and legal pad paper and I know how easy it is to write you down when I don't need to but now that I have to I can't pattern words

a sweet relief is what I'm aching for some gentle words that exclaim that my future is safe in your veins tensing over not knowing a thing or knowing too much my car is breaking down and I need to see you now so I'll arrive in your city and you won't want to see me

my pattern and heart is broken for you please help repair me because my gutter-dragged heart is loose in my chest and my tongue-tied words are sent through texts I'm aching for a word from you I feel and know I am too much for you

I always think that when I'm at a loss I can read poetry and jump back in
but when you're drowning in a lack of words it's hard to see an end

when I am the most vulnerable I go to let you in
but you push against me, like the wind
and I stare into a breathing mass, a struggle made from heavy tears
I'm looking for a reason, but all I see are three long years

I am broken and when I go to break you down
you bring me down with you
so I am looking for a reason
and I found it

it's such a long way to you and back
but I will do any thing to just be a happy thought
in your head
or a beating break in your heart
any thing with a meaning
I dare myself to be it
but I'm every thing but any thing