I took the quickest route to your house
a typical Thursday evening
I turned into your cul-de-sac
you ran out of the front door
wrapping your legs around my waist
and your arms around my neck
I carried you back to my car
I sat in the front seat admiring all the you are
as you put your seat belt on
I've never felt more at home
we headed to my house
frolicked around in my front yard
we laid on our backs staring up at the stars
we realize the chemical reactions we are
she looks into my eyes and says "I'm ready for you"
then we did what any teenager would do
we made a memory we'll carry our whole life through
I gazed into the eyes of someone I loved
as we watched our spirits blend together above
you held me as close as you could
I will always believe I knew exactly where that feeling was coming from
we ended up back at my house
I felt proud when it was you I was sneaking out

I am staring out of the window
watching the wind hit the leaves
she is staring at me and talking slow
telling me that I have a nosebleed
I have planted these little seeds
and now they are leaking out of me
grabbing a tissue
she touches my skin
and it feels like something
a non-believer might believe in
seeping into the sheets
wrapping myself in cotton
I am beginning to feel nauseous
she sat calmly and cautious
holding my hand and my hair
as I began coughing
then becoming sick from it
she cleaned up my sins
then became lost in them

I have went some months without pain
I would say a few
and then
out of the blue
I received a message from you
when I realized what I was reading
and who it was from
my stomach turned
my first thought was to ignore you
but what if you just showed up at my house
with such an obscure object you found of mine
what could I do?
after the past months, the solidarity I went through
what should I do!?
behave as if I am mature enough for this, no one is
but if you just showed up at my house while I am there
...what would I do?
that's a question I wrestle with
on a daily basis
I am too injured to be chasing
anyone, anything
you do not chase love
it lies at your feet
therefore, what we possessed was pointless
though you randomly appeared on my door step
the moment you seen my tears, you washed right through
the cracks between the boards of my deck
as I sat and listened to music that made me think about it
you know, the smiles
the piles of leaves
you would jump into with me
and we felt we brought our own hearts to their knees
laying there with our laughter and the feeling it brings
we would end up in my bedroom
with album covers strewn across the room
I would put the needle to Wild Heart
and make the sweetest of love to you

when I look back
on our perfect ten month stint
you were an absolute angel
and I gave my best performance yet
I hate the way it all ended
I almost wish one of us had died
if only to save our love from being tainted

I gave you the sacred parts of me
and you walked away
even had the nerve to
sit on the edge of my bed
look me in the eyes and sing every word to
the phil collins song "take a look at me now"
minutes before the last time you walked out of my house and did not notice the irony
and if you showed up at my house
with that obscure object of mine, today
I would probably tell you
to do what you do usually do
refuse to fight for what you love
and only focus on the men of yesterday
then I would tell you to
show me your trade mark move
the one where you just walk
away....

strange beings we are
in the front seat of my car
****** out of our tree
you kept touching me
running your fingers down my arm
my goose bumps looked like galaxies
I watched in slow motion as the cigar
let out a beautifully winding smoke stream
that stretched across the dash
like a blanket that moves
with the sound of our speaking

in between two buses
at a random school
in Davidson county
lost and impatient
you looked at me as if
you did not hate
your surroundings
for the first time
since you met me

with a full tank of gas
and it is the weekend
we drove around for hours
and laughed
we needed to see the product
of dying leaves
and I believe
on those nights
we found exactly what is was
that we were seeking

I'm swimming in my thought like a new born child
thrown into the summer pool for the first time
my palms are the road maps I use
to navigate this sea I float through
the things I love are intangible and clear
they stay around to help dismantle my fears
I'm more confident than I am sincere

I see colors in the late night sky
recalling all of the unfortunate times
that I indirectly tried to die
and I easily form a smile
a long way seems short after the fact
and I've boarded up the door to the pathways that hold me back

I'm sitting out in the grass while the dew dampens my pants
I feel the vibration of the wind bouncing off of the plants
marveling in the sight of marching ants
I'm seeing things I've only thought of
I look around as the bees buzz
and I know now exactly where I come from

I am the branch
and you are the leaf
our souls are two ants
heading for our tree
on their way to you
by crawling on me
you are the destination
and I am the journey

ghosts live in both of our delicate hearts
in a room with padlocked doors
we have swept up thoughts of them
like dust on a hardwood floor
tossing them out
and thinking of them nevermore

a star fell in my yard that night
unannounced and unnoticed
you were staring at my eyes
I may have seemed unfocused
but I felt you the whole time
the feeling consumed both of us
and then we killed the house lights

this pond is alive
I can see the reflection
of fish swimming in your eyes
the trees are alive
they shelter us
from the leaking sky
we watch droplets make circles
that move like humans
expanding outward
until they disappear out of sight

we conjured spirits in our mind
and let our hearts walk around free
for quite some time
if only to see what they might find

laughing from the tickle
of the moss on our bare feet
as the rain drops ride
on the back of falling leaves
and we can see
every particle we breathe

in the wild weeds
we fall asleep
to the warmth
of the moon breathing

moisture from her skin
left condensation on the hood of my car
in the dark part of a church parking lot
the insects sound like subtle harps
we laid down on a blanket in the graveyard
using our fingers to connect the stars like dots
into the shape of hearts

she let out a cloud of smoke
then laid back with her head in my lap
with no clothes on
her hair tickled my thigh and I laughed
I made whistling noises in high tones
using a single blade of grass
and my own two thumbs
the same hands that I use to hold her
like I would hold a lady bug

driving her home
I drove better than I ever have
with both hands on the wheel
keeping her safe was my only plan
opening her door
such a hard task for the hand
knowing there are hours in between
opening that door again

she had the longest sidewalk in this town
the touch of her lips in the door way of her house
walking back to my car
the night had a beautiful sound
I took the long way home
just to drive around
and listen to music very loud
with the window down
my hair flew out
creating shapes I have only read about

finally home
I lay my head on my pillow
and close my tired eyes
I see her in a sundress
sending flight to the seeds of a dandelion
I count them..
1....
2.....
3......
4........
5............

I met you
when you were
just starting to poke
through the cocoon
that surrounded you

those big brown eyes
and those large black pupils
starving for light
attracted me like a black hole
I am spiraling like a pin wheel
will I disappear with you?
or will disappear into you?

I noticed a fray
it blew in the wind
I caught it with my fingers
and the static electricity lingered
I began to unravel the threads
then I was cut short as I fell from the limb
of the tree we were living in
I am a damaged caterpillar on the ground
on my back watching you
flap your wings with a rhythm
as you fly around
landing on any flower
that is in bloom

the years I've lived have handed me bricks
so I built a wall framed with sticks
and everything I once believed, doesn't exist
life is just one of the many lessons we take on the wrist

I stood out in the dust of the dirt road looking past
the old house that is myself, myself looking back
on all of the things I keep in this heavy knapsack

it's a short walk to the end of the line
life may be short but it's a long **** time

me and terrible thoughts
fight like cats and dogs
flies and frogs
trees and chainsaws
I want to cut my left hand off
my positives may out weigh my negatives
but that comes at a high cost
pressure
when you hate attention
and would do anything to "get lost"
fade into the wind
disappear into the dark
I am a sparkler that will not spark
these are the scary hours
and I have become accustomed
to the hole growing in my heart
staring at the window
I wonder
when will my tombstone
litter the graveyard?

I knew myself once
even shook my own hand
how we grew apart
I'll never understand
I've tried to sit and think
of how I would describe me
but nothing comes to mind
and I get a headache everytime I try
Sometimes
I treat myself
like someone else
a romantic partner
a person to fall in love with
but as the love comes
it goes...
and I'm left
lonely, feeling like I deserted me
and left myself for dead
I am a captive
inside my own head

I tell them what love truly means
and they tell me how they feel
oh foolish me for believing that it meant something

I am a skyscraper, sitting down
ask for me and I'll come around

there is a record, somewhere, spinning
you can hear my name in the white noise
lingering around like glaucoma
the disease is painful but treatment is soothing

I am the screaming sound
ask for me and I'll come around

swimming in the atlantic
how far out can you get before the undertow pulls you away?
you drift out towards the sunset, struggling with the waves
every thought you've ever thought, repeats in your mind
as your body pains in the process of shutting down
the soul attached reluctantly begins to detach
and you are no longer the falling body, now you are the soul that's losing it's grip
you watch as this world gets smaller and smaller and smaller
until you forget where you were, and maybe
you were never really there at all

I am the star that burns out
but ask for me, and I'll come back around

you are a permanent ink
and I cannot seem to get my fingers clean
no one will shake hands with me
they are afraid of the things
that I wear on my sleeve

I am always arguing semantics
with strangers on the street
staring at the people in the park
plucking the leaves from a living tree
I want to furiously say something
but I just let them be
the leaves will grow back eventually
and maybe that couple will fail
and that living relationship forgets how to breathe
from the outside karma is amusing
boredom has led me to a road dark and eerie
and I am not fearing any reaper reaping
welcome to my life
irony
I am the reaper
reaping the ever growing seeds
that I always tend to plant near spring
never prepared for the yield
the end of summer brings
left with the weight of everything
I feed myself until I have only one option
to explode all that I am
through any medium
other people can see
or hear
or read

I signed my name backwards
on you in your sleep
with permanent ink
when you look in the mirror
you will remember me
and be forced to walk around
with your own pocket full of seeds

the chemicals that make up my body
are separating
and finding new homes
new souls
I fold a piece of paper in the shape of a swan
and swat at the flies
as I rise
and become one
with everything, everyone
there are puddles of people everywhere
I sat my swan on one
and the wind carried it away
puddle to puddle
person to person
I do not know anymore
I make things
and then give them away
watching as they circulate
just to end up in a closet
some are lost and forgotten
the paint is faded
and dry rotted
I begin to hate a talent
that I was born with
that I inherited
expectations will break a man
and rejection will make a man go mad
I am sad
everyone gets sad sometimes
and this is just one of those times
I am not rejected
but overly loved
and that makes me sad
people die everyday
and I am worried about who I am?
as I lay in my bed
under my sheets with air conditioning
a pantry full of food and two cats
all the while children starve to death
and I have the nerve to be sad
maybe I am just disappointed with myself
and that is why
I am only concerned with everything else

a garden of flowers
rows of various colors
a planet of life
lands of various colors
blending together
as they will always do so
forever

my hands have touched many others
my bare feet have trampled many a clover
my soul is kin to many others
my heart has had many a lover

I would live this life twice over
and over
and over
and over

starving for air
in this cloudy room
gasping for life
with no intention
of leaving any time soon
another day
another f-cking dollar
I hope one day
instead of getting out of bed
I set fire to my sheets instead
then fall back asleep
with the courage
to put a bag over my head
I am only here because of my parents
two kids with nothing better to do
than to smoke dope and make a kid
in the backseat of the car my father
would eventually die in
if there is a point to all of this
someone please tell me
I am running out of theories
the one who stepped in after him
is about to step out
and I have to deal with the fact
that when he does talk
my name comes out of his mouth
and if he goes before I see him
it will be just another hole I live with
another reason to doubt
to seek freedom through love
but the days pass slow
we used to be ants
and now we are slugs
who has time to work for love
when money exists?
and who has the energy to lift a fist
in an effort to fight against
what seems to protects us
providing laws and entertainment
this is mental containment
and it is time to face it
not embrace it

I was in the water
counting one, two, three
sinking
I knew she was a flight risk
but I could not bring myself
to clip her wings
she is anchored deep
I can still feel her arms
wrapped tightly around me
every time I breathe
and sometimes her tiny eyes
turn into little beams of light
that stretch throughout my dreams
and now I am treading water
letting myself believe
that the thumping sound I hear
is her feet stomping the ground
leading back to me
but in reality
it is just the sound
of my fading heartbeat
I am in the water sinking
counting
one
two
three
trying to wash myself
of the once tangible love
but now intangible memories
of a bird cage I left open
and the song it sang
as it flew free

Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think there's something they're trying to tell me
Sometimes I see the motions of the trees
and think they can hear the music I'm listening to-
and they're dancing along with me
I can smell natures breath
and I can see it floating on top of the grass
I can hear it in the hum of the insects
and can feel it as a bat flies past
Come with me into the night
we can lay in the grass
stare at the moon
and charge our hearts with light
become mesmerized by the sight
of constellations in the sky
I've layed in the grass so many times
that my skin no longer itches or stains
I've stared at the stars for so long
that my pupils continueally dilate

I stand in front of the mirror
remembering when I hated facing myself
foaming at the mouth, and pacing back and forth
an animal before realizing the fate of death
chasing the shiny and bright but getting burned by the light
only to find the comfort in imagining a mass extinction
and I am the only one that's left
but as the years pass, I reaped the seeds I have sewn
people I have loved are gone
I buried a friend before he could watch me grow
into the man he said I would be
a lovable soul who is inspired by the spark he gave to me
I would say it saved me
looking in the mirror now
I am looking at a person I am glad to be
nothing to be ashamed of, I am free

there is an angel on the couch
a special kind of sacred
I am afraid to touch for the risk of breaking
a soul as wise as it aching
I will tread slow and safely
with myself on my sleeve
I can only hope she comes to me

there is an angel on the couch
I can see her spirit vibrating through her skin
she is squirming
hoping no one will notice
but earlier
outside
one of her feathers took off with the wind
and I am the only one who seen it

there is an angel on the couch
and I am a man too shy to open my mouth
failing to display my wittiness and sincerity
the vessels I use to send my love out
but I am floating, vulnerable in the sea
with the over whelming fear that I might drown

there is an angel on the couch
with a stereo and collection of cds
of people I know about
I chose a song
and as it song started
I sat back down unnoticed

"I hear a voice..."

there is angel on the couch
with her eyes closed and moving around
with her hands in the air
disrupting the sloth like clouds
she is in perfect sync with the sound

I am staring down at my knees
just wandering
around in my head
trying to remember to breathe
I am high beyond all reasoning
and the angel gives me an unfamiliar feeling
just sitting there on the couch
still not sure she can see completely see me
I am just a simple mortal peasant
and she has earned beautiful white wings
then without hesitation
I leave
and still, to this day
the reason escapes me

I watched through the screen door
as you walked up on my front porch
you passed by me carrying a wind
that caressed my cheek like a feather
could you walk by me a again?
your eyes are deep and brown, the size of nickels
and when you stare at me, it moves me something serious
I could only imagine if a tear eagerly slid off the end of an eyelash
only to splash on your cheek, then you trying to hide it from me
by looking down, embarrassed but still smiling
as if you weren't trying too hard to hide this part of you from me
but with you, it all happens
the love, the connection, the laughter
no matter whether together or apart
it was created, therefore it's forever

I knew you were dead
on arrival in my chest
and you lie there with the rest

my heart is full of human bones
remains of people who were called back home

my life has been a series of pipes
twisting and turning through walls
of an old tattered house
I always find myself at the front door
unable to understand the lock
imagining what it would be like to walk out

I knew I had to be dead
the day I let love into my chest
and now I live here with everyone else

make something magical
write something moving and profound
Brian, make everyone proud
be it words, paint, or sound
Brian, don't let everyone down
do something smart
be someone great
stop being idle
and take your foot off of the brake
let life happen
even if it slaps you in the face
take a f-cking chance
stop being weak and afraid
people love you Brian
all the while you sit alone
thinking of ways to make them love you more
never satisfied of anything
like the women you blame yourself for
just grow up Brian
get out of your head
stop thinking
start experiencing
do something spiritual
make something magical
and write something moving and profound

roasted
toasted
and burnt to a crisp
I wish these thoughts in my head didn't exist
my heart
my soul
my fist
I could walk away from all of this
children making other children eat paint chips
my love for any other is fading quick
it is enough to make any sane man sick
I question my reasons for holding on
I have the dead mans hand
and I am about to fold
from the minute we were born
through the period of growing old
we are sold
stripped of our clothes
and robbed of all of our gold

life is just a flat stone
that we skip across
the vast universe
that we call home

I am sitting outside alone
with a blown out arm
and thoughts of a telescope
in freshly cut grass
I am watching the heat lighting
turn the distant sky from black
to pink and gold

I am walking
not sure where I am going
I have some ideas
but they are not growing
though I water them
constantly
not knowing
that my dreams
are becoming weeds
and vines
wrapping themselves around me
keeping me from being
who I should be
and this should frighten me
but it does not
I enjoy the company

and as the heat lightning rolls on
I wind back and toss my stone
out into the unknown
and watch as it sinks on the first throw

barefoot
in the grass
as the bees
do not even
bother me
dodging my legs
passing by
like a friend
passing by
a friend
I walk under
some trees
that I am not
familiar with the species
but they are pretty
I pass by my neighbors yard
and greet him
with a hand wave
then step down the bank
into an abandoned field
wild flowers
as far as the eye can see
well, at least to the tree line
where the sun sat above
showing me what it does
there are insects
little working machines
majestic beings
oblivious to my existence
maybe that is why
this is so comforting
I can observe
without being disturbed
I reflect on where I am
watching the golden glow
on the field
begin to fade
into the night
I have the potential to fly
or climb
like the bugs
but my mind
keeps me grounded
every time
coming to terms
with the fact
that I am a part of mother earth
and my purpose
may have not
yet
been
learned

she walked up to my table
sat down across from me
and calmly asked
why I had a skeleton
hanging behind me
I had not a word to say
I did not see a skeleton
when I turned around to look
she some how snatched my wallet
and ran away
I chased her out of the door
and to the street
after a few blocks
she stopped and handed me
my debit card, identification, and money
she took off again
I followed the direction
of my hair as it lifted with her wind
she is not very fast
neither am I
there is no wonder why
this look another four blocks
until she stopped
gasping for air
I had paced myself
I ran up to tackled her there
snatching my wallet
I asked
"why did you give me back my money
and keep my wallet?"
an obviously embarrassed, defeated
awfully attractive girl replied
" I have no idea, I was hoping to get away
  to see if you will try to find me
  most men would have walked away
  once they have what they want
  why did you continue the chase?"
maybe I have nothing better to do
maybe it is the symmetry of your face
maybe it is the aesthetically pleasing shape of your frame
or maybe it could be the fact
you had the nerve to come up to me today
I do not know
I helped her up from the concrete
we said nothing
then walked away
attached to two sunbeams
searching for what we have always
seen in our dreams
she looked up at me
I thought to asked about the skeleton
and she spewed beauty from her lips
"I seen your skeleton before, who you will be when you die
and I have seen my skeleton as well
they have always been entwined
and this vision was proven to be true
the moment I seen it in your eyes"

It's incredible
how you can make me as tall as a building
whenever you are near
I think to myself
there is a song here
it's incredible
how close to heaven I feel beside you
when the sky is clear
I think to myself
there is a song here
it's incredible
the further you drift from me
the worse I feel
I think to myself
there is a song here
it's incredible
how losing you was so easy
it was the only thing I feared
and I think to myself
there is a song here

are you going to wait by the car door until I open it?
are you expecting me to pull out the chair before you will sit?
because that will make you a lady and I'm into that ****

are you going to finish all that you order
without thinking of me judging you?
are you going understand why I don't try to kiss you
and not assume that I have no feelings for you?
because, as a gentleman, I need you to be into that ****

I could never see myself with someone
who would give themselves to me
without wanting to know who I truly am
I feel that a good woman makes you earn it
and I want to earn it, because I'm into that ****

we left the lights on last night and slept through the sunrise
the warm sweaty night had you glued to my side
and I slept as if I had died and became fuel for a firefly

I glow best after sundown, when no one is around
dancing in the fields with you to sounds of insect mating sounds
my love burns hot and the glow is the radiation being released out

I seen you glowing as well, love has the sweetest smell
and it was thick enough to see, I inhaled until it burned like hell
then I slowly exhaled the wind that set my heart a sail

I'm listening to love songs, figured I would write one of my own
love is everywhere and eventually it will run out of places to go
this universe is an ever expanding egg shell waiting to explode

we are old enough to know what to do
but young enough to bend the rules
this is my autumn, you are the leaf that is red and gold
at the end of the branch that I nearly gave my life travelling on

midnight on the beach, you and me
we were stunned at how many stars we could see
you were cuddled up next to me
with a blanket on our bare feet
off in the distance, we could see lightning from the heat
we imagined the flashes were the product of what we were creating
I scout the surroundings with a flashlight
to ease your mind from the blackness of the night
you are safe around me
there was no one to our left and no one to our right
we lay back and stare up at the ring reflecting light
around the moon, which looked like an eye
staring down, directly at me and you
you held tight with your hand in mine
and as the wind blew
I realized
you were an angel and the eye was God
watching what I do
and as an atheist, I was left confused
but I already knew
I noticed your wings the moment I met you

I have let myself down
after I have led myself
around by the neck
through this town
the seeds I have planted
grew into oak trees
and their shade combined
creates a greenhouse house effect over me
there is moisture everywhere
be it in the air or beading down my cheek
staring out of a window
my reflection is someone I wish not to be
I embrace my loneliness as it if solving something
I tell these little lies to myself then I justify them
by the effortless excuse of being born human
accepting my mistakes without the ambition
needed for the act of redemption
I lay stagnant, a standing shaded puddle
with my thoughts drowned out by the screeching sound of
mosquitoes hatching and the erratic ******* of my blood

the soil is soft and fertile
I have this pocket fulls of seeds
but I am scared to death of dropping them

every spec of salt in the sea
is equivalent to every spec of you in me
I hallucinate from the amount of you in my bloodstream

every spec in the night sky
is every memory I have of you and I
and the amount of visuals will forever distort my eyes
I'll see good in people
when I should see evil
and the movement of my heart
will be controlled by their fingers

....but I am not afraid, love is a two way street
there is more of me in you, than there is of you in me
you are just a random leaf on a tree in a forest of many
a lonely molecule in the air that I breathe
even a bird with a broken wing can still sing
a song as sweet as a bushel of strawberries
I wrap up my arm and put my heart in a sling
then remind myself of what means most to me
my ability to speak love fluently

I opened my door and stepped out of the car
walked around then opened hers
entwining our fingers and stretching out our arms
with our feet together to make our shadow into a heart

this is when the motion sickness feeling
starts kicking in
but you ignore it

walking on a path under a covering of trees
almost like walking down an abandoned school hall
we were close to the lake and could feel it's breeze
then walked over to some children trying to catch a tree frog
I told them what I know about them, children are always friendly
I caught the frog for them, then grabbed her hand and we continued on

I could feel my potential expanding right in front of her
she looked me in the eyes, it was nothing I've seen before
the trees around us with their bright green leaves magnify the sun
like when I used to be in a dark room until she opened the door

I had a good time with a friend of mine
walking the hills of a wild flower field
paying no attention to the time
we were caught on a blanket during the sunset
with love on our minds
she closed her beautiful eyes
and imagined the stars were holes
made by the tendrils of a porcupine
poking through the frail fabric of the sky
then imagined them poking at her eyes
she took off running as multiple flower pedals took flight
I stood there engulfed in the cloud
and lifted my arms, I felt connected to everything now
I chased her out into the clearing she found
she spun till dizzy and I caught her right before she hit the ground
We lie on our backs looking up at the migration of dust
then realized you and me became us
the sun was no longer to be seen
and the stars seemed to imitate all that she appeared to be
she was a galaxy lying right next to me
I could feel that certain spark, that particular feeling
but I was distracted by the sky resembling my bedroom ceiling
She held my hand until we came down
and the stars remained stars and not exactly what we are
but everything we were around
We ended up on some separate couches back at my place
but when we woke up we were still high on yesterday

I climbed a tree
on the edge of the tree line
surrounding my favorite park
someone has broken the limb
the highest one that I could reach
from which I hung my heart
someone has bested me
it used to make me sick
but now I am relieved
that someone has bested me
instead of tasting the high
before ever reaching the leaves
love is not about possession
because that air is not the only
air there is to breathe
there are other trees
and I can not, in good conscience
despise whoever can climb
higher than me

I shouldn't even be here
the sky is void of stars
this is not my night
these are not my "people"
and she doesn't have that glow
she doesn't have a glow at all
I usually get headaches around her
with the light shining from her soul
there was a point
walking down the street
she locked arms with me
and it almost felt familiar, almost right
I have shown her places that were memories of mine
and now, I am just a drop of water on the fishing line
I am too rare of a breed for her common sense of taste
quite elusive and reclusive and I am only out late
she caught me hungry enough to be fooled by her bait
then skipped the wait, threw me back
and didn't even watch as I swam away
as if she knew I needed to be free
and couldn't take the thought of seeing me having to flee
well, maybe that is  just what I want myself to believe

I'm sitting out in the grass
letting the blades tickle my ankles
I've let the pressures build up
the man made strain of this life
breathing down my neck
thank goodness I've been here before
staring at the same setting sun
drinking the same beers
and realizing that none of this matters
not even the love we share
and the comforts we have found
but especially the heartaches and empty stomachs
even people you knew but are no longer around
I've learned to smile in the mirror
it's better to **** with kindness
rather than fight with blindness
at anytime we can rewind our minds
and bring ourselves back to who we were
when we were happy

I am going to hurry the sun down
pounce on the night like a subtle barn owl
dives down on a field mouse in the stable behind my house
symbolizing a young man breaking out

to all of my my forgotten friends, let us mend
all of our differences and throw them into the wind
to move through the breeze exactly how the fish swims
inside of our hearts right before our life ends

I am going to hurry the come down
I have grown bored with this cloud
over and over until the voices in my head start to break out
symbolizing a young man breaking down

the feline in my soul chases ghosts when it is alone
I slam down the same keys on the piano
and write about the strangest places that feel like home
I have made it **** near impossible for me not to be alone

so now I beg and plead, something or someone come hurry the sun down
I want to enter a dream where I am suitable to be around

there's a body within the light of the moon
a woman with her hair like heavy rain on sand dunes
she climbs into my bed and hums a tune
of every song I've always listened to
to carry me on through what ever I'm going through

every night, she returns with blindness
over everything somber and desolate
she holds a candle at the memories I have
and I can see the truth and feel the intellect
I learn to live in the moment
and find the love in anyone who holds it
she comes whenever I ask
and one day I will follow her back

I sleep sound and amused
I'm withered but not abused
she always seems to save the day
by returning in the night to take me away

you are going to die one day
and that breaks my terrible heart of apparent stone
it should be big enough to swallow you
but instead I might be responsible for you dying alone
you are not the welcoming type
and I was sleeping in your bed
waking up next to you
with your fingers in my hair
as your palm rested against my head
this is the same way
that I held you
the first time
that I...
well..
held you
the first time you realized
that my arms wrap
all the way around you
I once thought that
generations ahead of us
would find our bodies
wrapped around each other
and we become the image
to symbolize
true love

I might be responsible
for you
dying alone
but I will be
dying alone
too

I stopped at a patch of flowers
on the way to your house
as the sun light reflected off of the morning dew
I liked the symmetry of the petals
they were beautiful but even if they had hands
they couldn't hold a candle to you
I watch the sun make its climb
past the cluster of clouds
in the Carolina blue sky
I hope you are looking up
because you make me feel that high
and every second with you
is an hours worth of time
I started down your driveway
and could see you through the window
you came out of your door running
We spun in circles like children
just like it's been weeks
since we've seen each other

kites bounce around over head
as our skin softens the sand
noticing the mathematics in the waves
the tide nips at our feet then runs away

as the water retracts
the sand starts to look like my carpet
then I realize where I am
on the floor in my bedroom
with a memory in my hand
and it bites like a fire ant
the sting feels the same as the rest of them

birds chirp from their nests
in the trees above our heads
and a spider web on the swing set
the intricate design has me fascinated

as the sunlight bounces off rather slow
the web starts to look like my cracked window
then I realize where I am
looking outside at life happening
with a feeling in my heart
that rattles like a screen door in the wind
it feels like I am walking out then back in again

our love was exactly like one days worth of time
you entered my life bright like the sunrise
that spread across a cloudless blue sky
I grew more attached as the hours passed
you headed for home
drifting off in the dimming light of dusk
I began to realize we were no longer us
I'm sitting here now, as the sun falls
with a drink in my hand
I watch a bird fly across the sky, alone
flying in a stretched out zig-zag pattern
I could be that bird, alone but free
to do as I please like nothing matters
because nothing ever does and nothing ever will
the only thing you really have
is your experiences, the thrills
you never forget things you believed to be real
no matter how small they begin to feel

tick, tock
tick, tock
the hands on the clock
are wrong
but the rhythm
could be in the background
of any song
why wouldn't you sit
and sing along
or read a good book
take your mind to somewhere else
because this place is something else
make the time longer than it is
when we use ours brains
for learning or imagining
we can expand it
imagine an imaginative planet
people planning the future
with a common understanding
of what is and what it could be
tightening the sutures
repairing the seams
we are one collective consciousness
having the same dream

there is a riot in my heart
I arranged some rocks in a circle
then started a fire in my back yard
I tossed my flag of freedom in
'cause f--k this place
and f--k the world I was born in
I can't seem to get it right
I have peaceful dreams
and it's the nightmares that rule the world
I'm nauseous in groups of people
I'd rather stand back unnoticed as it unfurls
spiraling downward with haste
some of us just want to watch the world burn

I dance with the flames
to the sound of singing trees
the slight whisper of the wind relaxes me
I can see flashes of eyes coming from the edge of the wood
I wonder what the animals think of what they are seeing
a thought that I let run through me
standing still, looking within myself
what do I think of what I'm seeing
what do I think of what I'm feeling
there's a spark of lunacy in every human being
and that's what I seem to be experiencing
only myself and nature get to see
how I deal with everything
so that I can wake up everyday with my sanity

I scratch at my skin until I bleed
thinking I have morgellons disease
these wires seem to grow out of me
in whichever direction you may be

I swear that I'm happy
but something weird is happening
your face seems to be erasing
but your your ghost does not seem to be evaporating

you have planted seeds within me, ideas that spark my creativity
they crawl through my limbs the same way a snakes swims
sometimes I feel that you are the reason that I exist
it is quite easy to see your roots growing out of my skin

the rain falls like brick walls
pounding against my skin
in the same way
you would strike a block of ice
with an ice pick

I need something strange to soothe me
almost willing to host some parasites to use me

stairs
I am usually
climbing them
or I am falling down them
a means to no end
I am addicted
to picking myself up
off of the grass or pavement
over and over again
you, her, and them
my memories
are a separate world that I live in

my unidentified flying heart
re-enters the atmosphere
and breaks apart
it becomes smaller
with each return flight back
from a distant star

we think we are humans
but we are not
we are only thoughts
and thoughts can rot
decay
and break apart
then reassemble themselves
into a better thought
to take its course again
maybe it will be buried
or maybe it will take flight with the wind

I have woke up next to angels
with wings glistening from the beam of light
that pokes itself in between the blinds
I could watch them breath for hours
making the air taste a little sweeter
I get the same feeling from flowers

I have woke up next to angels
and their halos were a gleaming beam of light
that trickled through my soul and spilled out of my eyes
I tried to enhance my psyche and succeeded
women inspire men to be great
and all of my negativity has depleted