a voice says
"nothing survives the night"
I am alone in this room
watching the light from beneath the shades
become dimmer and dimmer
darkness will come soon
and they will be howling at the moon
I will do some howling too
as the wind sings the dead a somber tune
energy leaves me like colors stretching through the sky
dodging the grains of sand in the infinite blue
and once the blue turns to black
it should find you
feeding your soul
until it explodes and sends the energy back
we create a perpetual cycle of light
because the voice was right
nothing survives the night

I wish I had a few peacocks
because beautiful colors
give me beautiful thoughts
and I could use that warmth
moving through my head
to heat my shivering heart

I wish I were standing
next to a tree
that was just a seed
planted on the same day
at the first moment
the doctor looked at me
I imagine the air
that I would breathe
would be clear and sweet
and the branches would be
covered in beautiful leaves
protecting me

I wish I were a song
we would all sing
I wish we were better
at being human beings
I wish for everyone
to be everything

being here before
I have learned
how to roll the stone
up the hill faster
anything to get this over with
and start again

I am Sisyphus
rolling a boulder with his fists
learning more
each time the night ends

as my feet bleed
I remember every memory
they keep repeating
every defeat
every victory

the world burns around me
no one has found me

it is just me
it always has been
and always will be
up this hill
and back down again
for eternity

this pond is alive
I can see the reflection
of fish swimming in your eyes
the trees are alive
they shelter us
from the leaking sky
we watch droplets make circles
that move like humans
expanding outward
until they disappear out of sight

we conjured spirits in our mind
and let our hearts walk around free
for quite some time
if only to see what they might find

laughing from the tickle
of the moss on our bare feet
as the rain drops ride
on the back of falling leaves
and we can see
every particle we breathe

in the wild weeds
we fall asleep
to the warmth
of the moon breathing

strange beings we are
in the front seat of my car
****** out of our tree
you kept touching me
running your fingers down my arm
my goose bumps looked like galaxies
I watched in slow motion as the cigar
let out a beautifully winding smoke stream
that stretched across the dash
like a blanket that moves
with the sound of our speaking

in between two buses
at a random school
in Davidson county
lost and impatient
you looked at me as if
you did not hate
your surroundings
for the first time
since you met me

with a full tank of gas
and it is the weekend
we drove around for hours
and laughed
we needed to see the product
of dying leaves
and I believe
on those nights
we found exactly what is was
that we were seeking

starving for air
in this cloudy room
gasping for life
with no intention
of leaving any time soon
another day
another f-cking dollar
I hope one day
instead of getting out of bed
I set fire to my sheets instead
then fall back asleep
with the courage
to put a bag over my head
I am only here because of my parents
two kids with nothing better to do
than to smoke dope and make a kid
in the backseat of the car my father
would eventually die in
if there is a point to all of this
someone please tell me
I am running out of theories
the one who stepped in after him
is about to step out
and I have to deal with the fact
that when he does talk
my name comes out of his mouth
and if he goes before I see him
it will be just another hole I live with
another reason to doubt
to seek freedom through love
but the days pass slow
we used to be ants
and now we are slugs
who has time to work for love
when money exists?
and who has the energy to lift a fist
in an effort to fight against
what seems to protects us
providing laws and entertainment
this is mental containment
and it is time to face it
not embrace it

relaxed with a touch of glee
sitting indian style
in my passenger seat
you were tossing smiles at me

there is a mountain
I feel I am atop of
but I am too high
to see far enough down
to witness myself
on the highest of ground

I pretend
my car is a spaceship
and you go along with it
you are words
I have already written
passionate yet delicate
like kisses on the head of a kitten

when you breathe in your sleep
it sounds like whispers from a caterpillar
and the words are meaningful and sweet
I can not help but to believe
that you are an illusion to me

I feel as if I am myself
staring into the eyes of myself
and you are yourself
staring into the eyes of yourself
we are symmetry at its best