There is a time in space from which my past I trace-

And try and place my hate

                                       on just a moment- I own it, its mine and I control it

rewind and fast forward, pause it on the good parts for remembrance

and reminisce

except it’s a pestilence on whats left of it, ravaging calm into frenzy

                                                                         and believers into skeptics

engorged passion pleads for action acting on rage we seek satisfaction only to realize

we are cause

   and reaction

affect the cause directly and cause effect to react steady only if

eyes are open and minds are ready

I fear that doubt trumps hope

Hopefully hope doubts doubt as much as I doubt that it does

Order only exists because sometimes randomness is perfect.

Perfection only exists because we believe we deserve it

We believe that we deserve it because the randomness made it perfect.

So perfectly ordered at random is believed to be well deserved.

Chaos births to order unto chaos and back again.

At which point chaos turns to order and says, “whats the ****** point?”

Ice cold coffee and fresh raw fish
Inspiration and a long, deep kiss
A fire underfoot and a smack in the face
Another explanation and a quickened pace
A muse with words to stoke the soul
Drugs and *** and rock and roll
One long year to rewind
That girl with a boys name to call mine
A darker pair of shades
A cutters cutting blades
Reverse from black to fades
All debt to be repaid
Time for reflection
A new direction
And a ******* hole in the head

Coffee at midnight to keep the dreams at bay
The murderous, torturous dreams of yesterday and today
Even the good ones are nightmares instead of dreams
Each one awoken to a sweaty silent scream
From the most beautiful muse to a horrifying specter
From a beauty to behold to a flowers rancid nectar
they all mean something, but im not sure what they say
Coffee at midnight to keep the dreams at bay

Knee deep in my poison
The itch unreachable
A light burn, singed lungs
Undoing the never done
Your blank stare
Your soul bare
My bitten lip bleeding
A sweet treat for a hungry brain
A summer breeze and a 90% chance of pain

i look for the same images as i did years ago
they dont seem to exist in my present reality
they were stark, not in contrast but in juxtaposition
they were dark, not in blacks and shadow but in the indifference
and yet through them shone what little light was left in my darkroom
immersed without color, the monochrome marvel left me breathless
to subsist, sans spectrum
i look for the same images as i did years ago
they dont seem to exist from this perspective
im going to start looking harder, under rocks
next to old dusty and rusty lawn and garden tools
behind the stove and in the back of the closet
just dont tell me the beauty is gone
thats a burden im not sure i could shoulder