i love a boy who isn't mine
but i still touch him like he is.
he gets day drunk and lays in the grass
in the lawn of public restaurants with me.
and when he's on my couch, i want to run my fingers through his hair,
i want to massage his scalp, and i want to kiss him ever so tenderly.
i want to bite his lips
i want to sink my teeth in his neck
and run my nails down his chest and back.
i want to nibble on his earlobe,
and kiss his cheeks.
i want to wake up next to him
and i never want to get up.
but i'm in love with a boy that isn't mine.

shots of cheap ***** and md 20/20 as a chaser.
debates on whether or not we are dying everyday.
drifting through alleyways singing 'come on eileen'.
drawing on your legs.
car ***.
happiness. frustration. sadness.
missing you the next day.

your face is poetry.

my heart is a tree
it's alive
it's growing
but every day,
it gets older
every day,
it's slowly dying
flirting with death
threatened to be cut down
and torn apart.

hearing from you sends chills throughout my body
like someone is playing pacman inside of my organs.
you are not mine
and you will never belong to me.
but you are the breath i take on a rainy morning
in olympia, WA
you take away the arizona heat.
and it's okay, i never want to be more than this
i am comfortable with the fact there are no strings attached
i am happy that there are only tongues tied
i am a horrible person i know
your girlfriend will never have to know
that i am your break.
when things get serious, they never last
so let's keep this casual and comforting
without stress, and just relax.

i'm sure she doesn't
read you robert frost poetry
and i'm sure she doesn't
text you a reminder to look up at the moon at night
she doesn't
call and sing "peach" by the front bottoms into your voicemail
just so when you're having an off day
you can stop and listen to the sound of my voice
1200 miles away.
you say
i miss you
oh my god i can smell you
i want you here
i trust you wholly and entirely
i miss you
i want you so terribly
i love you, baby girl
i'm longing
i would be devastated to lose contact
you say you'll leave her when she gets back home
you try to pretend her head is the top of mine
and she doesn't smell like me
nor taste like me
nor hugs like me
there's only one kind that smells the best-tastes the best-
there's only one kind  of warmth i like best and when its taken from me im left with a sting in my mouth and i'm cold
i miss you i miss you i miss you and i love you still.
YOU SAY
even though your energy surrounds my heart, not having you here physically aches.
you broke up with her.
the next day
i call and she answers your phone
you text and say
don't ever call this number again
i'm serious, brea-ever.
you say, i can't do this long distance, don't forget the things i've said.
and you are selfish, you **** the warmth out of my heart like a leech
we were together for four years and you've known her for a month-she must be so beautiful for you to give this up
but i know she doesn't watch you sleep before you wake up.

your lungs are black, just like your coffee
inferno builds in my head listening to you breathe
the malice has forever been infused in your veins
i am wrapped in a blanket of nails, the sting
of a thousand wasps aches from inside of me.

but i am consumed by you, unconditionally