I'm just a stupid Pisces
lost in my own ideals
but no one else will get this, noone else will feel
because when you say I want you
It must mean that you really do
for longer moments than this last stand
i'm drunk off my own unsatesfaction
but being drunk is what I understand

I want to rattle you
your feelings, your thoughts from outside your bones
from outside your self contained cage
I want to hit you
just to make you react and say
speak your soul in a deffinate way
always so silent
even when you speak
I wonder if theres any passion in there
enough to be my rock
I want you shout YES
or NO
your passivity kills my fire
soaked by my tears
plagiarized by all my fears
the loss of energy swindles and swoons
as my heart is consumed

Theres a sickness inside
a false idea
that wants to be nursed
by the same hands thats wretched me from the truth
the truth
is my home

I could be locked into a room with mothers warm linen
clutching you around me
but theres the wild
as it was never strained from me
and it makes me want to overthrow
the comfort
the security of what is that was never materialized
I want free-free-free-dom
I can accept the discomfort
like wet clothes
holding me like a heavy hostage as I roam
I want freedom, I want mobility
because deep inside of me, I know the truth, without it needing to be performed
so much so that it haunts me
every time you kiss me
even in my dreams
dowsed in the warmth
struck with the urge to pull back from a burning flame
as it encircles around my soft flesh
my hard peircing soul
wants to run from the devils gold
so dont you l-l-l-ove me
love me love me
love me
I am free
but the bars of my heart strings push you aside
like a werewolf
my instinctual nature has me tied
in the wilderness
I go back and forth
on the roads that will bring me further from you
when I feel my dreams
consuming all that I see

look at what you bring me to do
to myself
I'm running but it's sinking me
into a deep abyss
where there are lessons to be learned
spirit to confess, thoughts to degress
It's all in your head
its what you do
so quiet this enormas power in the room
I feel it and it pulls my eyes on you
what do you see in those dark eyes
with a cunning to know
wisdoms
beyond speak
There is a cave of wonders
rivers of mercury, diamond tombstones
subdued by the depth of this sea
and it's keyhole is entracning me!
I'm sinking sinking sinking
with an invisible third eye and an attict you gaurd with watchful eyes
I'm staring up into this antique
when I look up into you
and it's watching me
asking what I'd do
Your silence is maddening loud
it brings me in, without steps
I am pulled into your air
I am staring into this deep brown pair
even
In my bed
I feel your energy enwrapping my body before you do
and Hook line and sinking
I am being ****** into you
and youre lost in my dealings
because I need to feel into you

Let. me.
I’m going. to. do it.
I’m going to rip every painstaking petal from my eye
I wont be okay. if the idealization kills the love. I feel
Im going to smash. And. Mangle.
These rose tinted glasses
Over this, Concrete, corner.
Don’t care who’s going to look. and judge
I am the victim
No longer will I look through a pink vial of self possessed poison
No longer will I escape true unconditional love
If there was, a Satan. this would be his game
His oracle.
Of divination.
Well. I said. **** this, I’m not going to believe in its dictation
I’m going to be. my own salvation
From its pink. Innocent. coloration
I’m going to pull, pluck, and wrench
These petals from my eye lids
It’s going to be a painfully beautiful process
Don’t be.
Deceived.
So sweet. how could it. lead you to do harm?
When. in. actuality. it will end up twisting behind my very arms!
No, I wont collaborate to torment this feeling deep inside!
Inanimate object,
Objectifying. my love.
Going to shatter this wall. that you build.
Between us.
Gonna **** this in my fury.
You separate me from my beautiful reality.
Reality, is much more beautiful. than you and I. can conceive!

Shhhhh...
the only sound I want to hear escape your lips
is your breath
amiss in the sweeping endless echo of this ocean
I enjoy the feeling my fragile body
pulled and pushed
in this distance between us
I easily wave away these subtle forces
in my motion in your tight direction
subtlety hides this force that could take either of us by storm
into dark submission
embrace this submission to your skin now
your thrashing heart now
your strong compassionate arms now
sharp rocks amass baby power granules
This is where my feet belong
Shivering in our humility
numb to all but our synchronized vibrations
rocking in our susceptibility
to the depth, the darkness, the knowledge that together, now know
it binds our arms, strongly woven
fragile are we are in each other now
but strong in our conviction
anything could take us now, at this moment
we haven’t any worries
what can fear do for us now?
In the way you fit in the swoop of my neck and shoulder
we are pierced together, forever in this moment
the moon as she witnesses
Perhaps she sees something that keeps her
we are at the bones of mercy, of her power
and your body carried flush against mine
You hold me as if I carry some smoldering deep power situated in me
You are so much stronger than me, its in your grip
in the way you hold unto me
in the battle from which you contain your powerful thumping heart
that speaks so little of my own ******
in this current situation
like I save you somehow
that my presence heals your predicament
smother me in your predicament
so that I may truly feel at your side
carried in that small corner of your heart
breathe into me
your passions
my sheltered trust
your devotion
because while my body was not created to serve you
a small part of my being has been dedicated to you
silently,

Don’t worry
I’ll build you a house in the soft upper spot in my heart
There wont be Barbie’s, or neighbors
And we wont smoke, so we’ll be too good for crystal ash trays
I’ll purchase a porcelain tub so we wont need showers
Our clothes will all be tailored, so we wont need belts
It’s so warm, why not just be barefoot
It suited us just fine as innocent children
so you won’t even need to worry about seeing hard steal or hot leather
Everythings magic so I wont need to pull ropes or need to drag out a ladder
Who needs popcorn, when we have a garden
And the sun is so gracious, mud wont follow us inside
In the soft spot of my heart, its been vulnerable too
but we're still alive