As I start to put my past in the past
and decide that this darkness can't last
it starts to attack
the confidence that I lack
and climbs back
out of the pit of despair
from the stomach of Tartarus
I desperately fight back
but the darkness wants out.
I cling for righteousness
but without a doubt
it overwhelms me ready to spew out
like the mouth of an active volcano,
it wants control
almost winning every time
I realize I can't fight it alone.
I need the light that I desire and I demand it.
The light won't come, it doesn't want to help.
Soon I realize I'm all alone.

A million thoughts
go through my head
not a day goes by
when I lay myself to bed
not night will fly
that I don't wonder

Are you the One for me??

I notice you constantly looking at me
liking what you see
if I was to ask
would you answer me honestly

Do you feel the same way??

We share a laugh
a giggle
a flirt
and I know deep down
I've entered your trap
my undying love will always pain me
I don't know if i can go on like this

Are you the one for me??

Maybe for you it's different
all i know is we were meant to be
even if  you were schizophrenic
I would love you another day

Maybe a little, maybe a lot
I even flower pick you know
She love me she love me not
it goes to show

That if we were meant to be
we would be in a relationship
one of which we have spoken
you've given my heart a lock it
one of which can't be broken

I've wondered into a dark place.
Never have I been inflicted with
so much pain, sorrow, and distrust.
The darkness I've been shrouded in,
is immense, so immense you could see it in my eyes.
Grief stricken,
heart broken,
betrayal,
disloyalty,
That's what I am left with because of you.
I've fallen to my breaking point and beyond.
I fell as if I'm at a place of no return.
I've shed a thousand tears.
A thousand tears to many then a thousand tears more.
I feel like I don't belong
maybe hell is where I belong
my demons my kin
that's where I go.

I look upon you with vengeance
with blood lust in my veins
we used to have an alliance
now all I see is bloodstains
and pieces of what used to be

My hatred for you all
caused your brutal deaths
the blood on the white satin sheet
caused by my self-indulgence
to feast upon flesh and fresh meat

If it wasn't for the chain saw
I would have killed you with my sharp teeth
as you cowered and crawled
it just amplified my psychopathic rage

You father I loved our brawl
You would ***** anyone for a quick dollar
If it was't for sis and mother
i would have sodomized you and spit in your face
like you would me.

Oh, my dear mother you of all people should know not to run
adrenaline pumping
heart thumping
blood coagulating

I strangled you mother
no remorse found
as you stared into those black glassy eyes
what used to be brown
now stone cold as ice
blacker than the void of space.

After mother and father were dead
it was off with brothers head
for little sis well she was chopped up into little pieces

For this, is the Death Toll!!!

He feels he's fallen
into a pit of despair
he's lost and hauling
himself along
Does anyone care

What if he's forgotten
freezing and lost
looking for a silver lining
lost between thought s
nervous, confused, and ignored
trying to set aside how he feels

Destroying his thoughts
separating what's right from wrong
distinguishing between
if he is memorable or not
or even if he's good enough

What if no one remembers him
the poet with a dream
who's lost in between
deciding on what he wants to do
wants to see wants to know.

Wants her who speaks to him
letting him know
that she cares
wants that moment of peace
wants to know will it consume him

What if no one notices him
just lying there, lost
gone, completely non-existent
with anger so immense
so exhausting
so excruciating
so exhilarating

He can't do it anymore
so he looks for a way out
an opening
but all there is,

Entrapment!!!

Living a life of hate
fighting impossible battles
unable to defeat it.
My hate continues to grow
nothing worse
than fearing fear itself.
Scared of the possibilities
cowered in fear
the smell of must and mildew
crisp in the air
managing life or death
caused by my own hands
never before
a battle ever won
trying to tame Jed
always wanting out
to hurt love ones
not caring for their feelings
wanting to destroy, incapacitate
especially the one named William
when will we reunite
becoming one
instead of split
for he is a part of me
a part that wants to wake
hated among men
Jedadaya
my demon
my brethren
my father
my cousin
my best friend
for without him
I would be nothing
but a figment
of the imagination.

As the day turns to night
The sky turns an eerie black
The sounds of the wild
Comes to a screeching halt
Cursed to relive the nightmare
I soon come to a shocking discovery
There's not enough hours in the day
For the children to come out and play
Mothers tuck in their children
With kisses
And a promise
Of no existent
Monsters under the bed
Or creatures in the closet
With an oath to protect
Against the boogeyman
Miniscule do they know
It's not the monsters
Nor the creatures,
Demons within
Is the real threat
Destined to rob you of your soul
To escape the kingdom below
Wanting nothing more
Then to swallow you whole
Rip you open with claws
Razor sharp like that of a sword
Ruled by blood lust
Fear, anger, triumph
Ruled by the red horned
King himself
             Lucifer!!!

As this darkness consumes
more pain and frustration resumes
the constant negotiation
to use the detonation
to end my life or remove the knife
or wait for the light
that I so desperately desire
cleanse me of the darkness
that consumes and destroys
that courses through my veins
like venom from the cobra
that has latched onto me
like the vice grip of an anaconda,
squeezing my soul to deterioration and strangulation.
The darkness laughs and whispers
with the sound screeching and feasting on the pain
there's a wall that keeps it out
i cringe at the thought
what happens if it breaks through

This world is changing
things are being misplaced
and yet I'm still on the verge of hanging.
I'm ready to get away from the edge,
and get on with my life

Continually, I still ask myself is it worth it
instead of just getting on the edge and dropping
would it be enough to just fall
to end all of my problems
will it hurt as much as being thrown into a wall.

This sensation to end my life
grows stronger
because I continue to ask for the Knife
I care no longer
I yell reaper come sir use that scythe

I wait and I wait and I wait
I say Reaper come sir use that scythe
I say Reaper am I not worthy
is this not my fate
I know I have sinned is that why
you torture me to more than I can bare.

Here I am asking for death
and you don't come forth
I'm treated as if I don't matter
rather its West, East, South, or North
why won't you come and take my soul
is it not time to meet my maker.

Far away a voice so small
a raspy voice so rough
a dark figure lurks that's tall
a whisper is all it bares
I listen and I don't understand

What is that you say
speak sir speak more
is this not my day
Reaper just open that door
let me pass through to the afterlife

I no longer belong
take me to the Lord of the undead  
is it so wrong
please sir lay me down to bed
provide me with eternal peace.

Then I see that scythe
and there I am no longer.

I'm ignored put aside
like I don't matter
might as well hide
no longer there is laughter
all there is,
silence

I feel as if I'm drifting
farther and farther away
no longer does she want to talk
sort her thoughts out with me
she just keeps her distance.

Every time I try
to talk to her I'm either
shunned of shut out
there's no more I miss you.

All I get now is
silence
silence so dull
silence so painful
silence so excruciating

It's good now
my eyes are open
to what I have
a glow that came from no where
for I was blinded by the lust

For never did I know
that she was who I loved
it took her to show me
who I cared about most

Never did it occur to me
that it was her,
her alone made me
see that I'm worth it

That all my demons can be fought
that all my anguish
that all my fear
can be conquered
that I can again
be happy and loved
and that maybe she'll love me still
even with my darkest secret.

I stand there alone
Wondering if things are ever going to change
I stand there like a statue made of stone
I wait and I wait till your in range
I see you stood still in thought
You walk near to me but yet your still to far
I stand there alone
I see you getting into a car
I stand there like a statue made of stone
You think you know me
Truth is you've never known me
From start to finish
You see me
Baskin get in my own invulnerability
A taste of blood Is what I ask for
I see you coming towards me
I pull a piece of metal from my pocket
I get on one knee and I kneel there
I kneel there like a statue made of stone
I see you gasp
You put your hand upon your heart
I take that piece of metal
Tighting my grip
Pulling the trigger
BAM!!!
Now you know me from finish to start
I stand there alone
For I am a man
I stand there like a statue made of stone
Then I turned and ran
For now you know me as
          The Hitman!!

Stepping out for a midnight snack
As its stomach roars like a lion
Taming the jungle
As it stalks it's prey
With adrenaline pumping

It smells and sniffs
An alluring scent
As sweet as honey
It's hunger enraging it
Like a stone cold killer

Licking and smacking
It's lips as it lusts
Over the smell of blood
Quenching an uncontrollable thirst
As it's prey gets closer
All humanity disappearing

It hears the feint heartbeat
Of another as it grows nearer
The temptation grows stronger
As the lust looks for an outlet

Crouched like a lioness
Hunting down a gazelle
Readying to pounce
Willing itself to stay down
Coiled like a viper
Ready to strike

The sweet scent
Daringly close
You could almost taste it

It starts to snarl
Barely audible
Not a creature could hear
Not even a mouse

the sweet scent
So close its tangible
It's eyes narrowed
It's head cocked
Like a loaded gun
Daring to fire

rummaging it's paws
Into the earthborn soil
Sizing up its prey destined to pounce  
It billows it's growl
To a narrow roar

Coiling back
Latching it's claws into the earth
Lunging
Letting out an earth-shaking roar

The chase was on
As the hunted bolted
As did the carnivorous apex predator
It's instincts honed in to the prey
The creature heard the heartbeat
Of its dinner
Grow denser
Grow harder
Grow faster

The predator smirks
The enemy grows weaker
Dodging trees
Jumping rivers

It knows if it makes one mistake
It'll be all over
As the hunt veers a left
The stalker flanks it

With a final lunge
It's jaw meets the jugular
Of its dinner
The prey squirms and whines and wails
Then silence

A sickening crunch
Breaks the deadly silence
The chase is over

I've tried to be nice
To those who don't care
I've tried to be sincere
To those who share my hatred
I've tried to forget you
But my feelings prevent it
If only there was a way
That they would permit it
Let me out of this cage
You've entrapped me in
Before my rage overwelms
My will power
To withhold me on this stage
Which you chose to reel me in
Making me love you
As much as I do
When you left me
It dug a hole
In my heart six inches deep
Now when I hear your name
I just close my eyes in remebrance
Of what could have been
I flash back to the good times
When we would get along
Share our laughs
In a way it's good
Now I don't spend My evey waking hours
Thinking about you
How you ruled my life
Giving me your devotion
When you left me
There was a pang of grief
In my heart
That was so excruciating
A pain so inadvertent
You made me want to give up
When you left me
I felt as if the world meant nothing
As if it was turned upside down
Nothing in the world matters
When you was here
I felt importance
No one else matters
It's unexplainable though
Now I have no one else to turn to
Who would be there for me
Through thick and thin
All the way to the end
To cheer me up everyday
Make me laugh as hard as you do
In the end
I blame myself
For falling for you
Without you I feel empty
All I saw was you
Day in and day out
If only
I could easily forget you
I wonder if I could erase it from my memory
Even though subliminally
I'd want you to stay dwelled
In the history of my life
Only because when I think of you
I smile
When you left me
All I could think about
Was how much I want you back
What I would do to
Engulf you with the warmth of my arms
When you left me
All I could do is think
It's my fault
Rid me of my grievance
All I do is miss you
When you left me
All I did was break down
Please love
Come back to me