He feels he's fallen
into a pit of despair
he's lost and hauling
himself along
Does anyone care

What if he's forgotten
freezing and lost
looking for a silver lining
lost between thought s
nervous, confused, and ignored
trying to set aside how he feels

Destroying his thoughts
separating what's right from wrong
distinguishing between
if he is memorable or not
or even if he's good enough

What if no one remembers him
the poet with a dream
who's lost in between
deciding on what he wants to do
wants to see wants to know.

Wants her who speaks to him
letting him know
that she cares
wants that moment of peace
wants to know will it consume him

What if no one notices him
just lying there, lost
gone, completely non-existent
with anger so immense
so exhausting
so excruciating
so exhilarating

He can't do it anymore
so he looks for a way out
an opening
but all there is,

Entrapment!!!

I look upon you with vengeance
with blood lust in my veins
we used to have an alliance
now all I see is bloodstains
and pieces of what used to be

My hatred for you all
caused your brutal deaths
the blood on the white satin sheet
caused by my self-indulgence
to feast upon flesh and fresh meat

If it wasn't for the chain saw
I would have killed you with my sharp teeth
as you cowered and crawled
it just amplified my psychopathic rage

You father I loved our brawl
You would ***** anyone for a quick dollar
If it was't for sis and mother
i would have sodomized you and spit in your face
like you would me.

Oh, my dear mother you of all people should know not to run
adrenaline pumping
heart thumping
blood coagulating

I strangled you mother
no remorse found
as you stared into those black glassy eyes
what used to be brown
now stone cold as ice
blacker than the void of space.

After mother and father were dead
it was off with brothers head
for little sis well she was chopped up into little pieces

For this, is the Death Toll!!!

I'm ignored put aside
like I don't matter
might as well hide
no longer there is laughter
all there is,
silence

I feel as if I'm drifting
farther and farther away
no longer does she want to talk
sort her thoughts out with me
she just keeps her distance.

Every time I try
to talk to her I'm either
shunned of shut out
there's no more I miss you.

All I get now is
silence
silence so dull
silence so painful
silence so excruciating

It's good now
my eyes are open
to what I have
a glow that came from no where
for I was blinded by the lust

For never did I know
that she was who I loved
it took her to show me
who I cared about most

Never did it occur to me
that it was her,
her alone made me
see that I'm worth it

That all my demons can be fought
that all my anguish
that all my fear
can be conquered
that I can again
be happy and loved
and that maybe she'll love me still
even with my darkest secret.

This world is changing
things are being misplaced
and yet I'm still on the verge of hanging.
I'm ready to get away from the edge,
and get on with my life

Continually, I still ask myself is it worth it
instead of just getting on the edge and dropping
would it be enough to just fall
to end all of my problems
will it hurt as much as being thrown into a wall.

This sensation to end my life
grows stronger
because I continue to ask for the Knife
I care no longer
I yell reaper come sir use that scythe

I wait and I wait and I wait
I say Reaper come sir use that scythe
I say Reaper am I not worthy
is this not my fate
I know I have sinned is that why
you torture me to more than I can bare.

Here I am asking for death
and you don't come forth
I'm treated as if I don't matter
rather its West, East, South, or North
why won't you come and take my soul
is it not time to meet my maker.

Far away a voice so small
a raspy voice so rough
a dark figure lurks that's tall
a whisper is all it bares
I listen and I don't understand

What is that you say
speak sir speak more
is this not my day
Reaper just open that door
let me pass through to the afterlife

I no longer belong
take me to the Lord of the undead  
is it so wrong
please sir lay me down to bed
provide me with eternal peace.

Then I see that scythe
and there I am no longer.

As I start to put my past in the past
and decide that this darkness can't last
it starts to attack
the confidence that I lack
and climbs back
out of the pit of despair
from the stomach of Tartarus
I desperately fight back
but the darkness wants out.
I cling for righteousness
but without a doubt
it overwhelms me ready to spew out
like the mouth of an active volcano,
it wants control
almost winning every time
I realize I can't fight it alone.
I need the light that I desire and I demand it.
The light won't come, it doesn't want to help.
Soon I realize I'm all alone.

As this darkness consumes
more pain and frustration resumes
the constant negotiation
to use the detonation
to end my life or remove the knife
or wait for the light
that I so desperately desire
cleanse me of the darkness
that consumes and destroys
that courses through my veins
like venom from the cobra
that has latched onto me
like the vice grip of an anaconda,
squeezing my soul to deterioration and strangulation.
The darkness laughs and whispers
with the sound screeching and feasting on the pain
there's a wall that keeps it out
i cringe at the thought
what happens if it breaks through

I've wondered into a dark place.
Never have I been inflicted with
so much pain, sorrow, and distrust.
The darkness I've been shrouded in,
is immense, so immense you could see it in my eyes.
Grief stricken,
heart broken,
betrayal,
disloyalty,
That's what I am left with because of you.
I've fallen to my breaking point and beyond.
I fell as if I'm at a place of no return.
I've shed a thousand tears.
A thousand tears to many then a thousand tears more.
I feel like I don't belong
maybe hell is where I belong
my demons my kin
that's where I go.