In the middle of my mid-life crisis
Back and forth like a pendulum
Full moon iris'
I can taste a lingering type of sweet
I can smell the lead and
I'm loosened by the shapes like
Notes in a psychedelic symphony
Persian rugs on floors with patterns
That stretch in 3-D
A tiny drop of dew
From my forehead
Hanging like a whisper a
Shiver cold and true
Trickling down my forearm
Shaking sweating wide awake in
Bed
The strangers all left me
Clock chimes at midnight
Tip-toeing to rooms

Delirious foaming sips
Fidgeting for a cigarette
I look like a raging manic
Time to whistle the time away
With strategies of how I could have spent It better
( My time I mean)
Courting disaster
A youth breathing in angst
Working out the senseless semester
Of continuous mistakes
Sinking sailboat within the space of
Sea in the back of my mind
The bubbles pop like acid rain
And I've nothing tangible to soak
Up the stain
I've perpetrated my desires into
A crisp letter that I've labelled
With a sticker of a lark
Spun out on stress
Reliving the sickness
A gush of cough suppressed in
My chest
Vladimir Nabokov's "******"
Explains it the best
Contemplative in public places
With my thoughts hung like
Guitar basses
Riffs in my skull that whisper
How this phase is contagious
And I'm still the only one left of my
Peers with sweaty palms
And a sore throat
Dancing
High to a symphony of lyres
As I suddenly hit a sour note
This vast mountain road
Sliding back and forth on
Riding to a sense of home I've
Long ago forgotten
Is this tingle normal?
Is my preservation of self
Illegal?
Like that girl Lucy with
Cartier in the sky?
The leaves withered up long ago
Like dry grapes and I can't wait
Much longer in this combustible
Longing for
Someone's lies to shelter
In my soft direction
No use speaking about my
Indiscretions
Because no one ever listens till
I utter "I told you so"
I pour karma, dharma and nirvana
Into a tea cup
Finish the potion up
And start to loosen my joints
Poking along my skin in oddly
Sewn points
Walking through the doorway
From one world to another
To the waking screaming world
From a heavily dosed slumber
Seasons came and passed
Grains of sand caress the insides
Of an hourglass
Waiting for forever it seems
For some stranger I catch glimpses
Of in my dreams
Courses through my veins
As novocaine
After a bright vision solidified
In numb numbers as they said it would be
My blanket no longer fits me
As my feet stick out contorted
And my bleek sensation of safety
Seems to have become distorted
A calender left blank
I sit in a shackled ruin
I'm running on the brink
And no longer doing things
I thought knew me
Withdrawing from stings
Of the images in my fantasies

I am a labyrinth with
Twists and turns
Endless corners of cobblestone
In this dark where
I'm comfortable
Where I lye
Vines reek of cigarettes and
Oranges
And at the center of my maze
Is a black hole that takes everything
Into it swallowing
Consuming
Leaving nothing
Scars on my fingers
Bruises on my legs
Where is the love in this destitute
Palace?

My eyes are dim and
Low
Surrounded by shadows
Of people
Sprinkling ash settles
Over the aftermath
Of loud words
Permeating from the
Wall's to my tired
Ears
Words spoken in hate
Agitate in a certain
Way and aren't erased
In the morning
"They" say the end
Is really a beginning-
And that is how
I perceive this lingering
Feeling
Somehow left to hideaway
(The truth disguised)
Faults to our crimes
Hanging in the disturbed
Air.

Summer creases
Memories in pieces
Undisturbed lullabyes
Drifting away
Earthquake wide awake
Moving in sound dancing
Not in the air but on the ground
Stained pages drip's of
Sages drink spilled
On letters not in ink
But lead
Keeping starshine
Wears it on my sleeve
Catches my collar
And so you leave
It sounds like a beach
Nights without sleep
Stayed awake
Grazing memories within
My mind's eye
I'm in love with my sadness
We have an affair
On again
Off again
But it lingers in the still air
Still there, Budweiser
Oh nicotine!
What wars with white sails
And blue oceans were fought for
You, Marlboro
Only to give me headaches
California
California
California

( Don't talk, speak )
The need to move
That need to sit still
Periforate the fabric of
My design

It brings me to tears
Some nights
Thinking about those highway
Roads and street signs

Miss the ocean
I miss the pier
Miss the salt in the air

You speak like willow wise
Briefly about your dream
You had descended on spider
Satin to the
Land of the dead and remained
After eating a pomegranate
Seed.
Siren finned and black eyed
Combing your long silver locks
With the bone of a sailor
Who crashed upon the sea rocks
Now queen of the dead
A maiden once
Beloved kindred
We mourn like winter over our
Loss of your tender touch
We're a dismembered brood.
Spinning an old violin
Humming a music-box carol
Spinning pale blue spinning to
The oceans tune
Triumphantly swinging to
Eternal slumber in a sleepy
Melancholy
Chthonic mistress weaving hymns
For the dead
Lullabies for flickering-by souls
To march to in purgatory
Haunted carousel with thrones
Made of coral and seashell
Pleasing is your disguise
Fleeting like a butterfly
Over a frosted lake
Kissing the blue flowers
Wilting as they weep
Your dreams sound like
Christmas lights
Glazed Luna visions
Redeemer of the night
Guiding souls to caves
Gateways to the underworld
Bedecked in starshine
Howling from the entrance
Beseeching a worthy weight
To add to a library of ghosts
Wandering from the night
Jade necklace on a sinewy neck
Powdered-chalky scent in dew drop
Dusk
Absinthe spilled on a vanity set
An old China vase cracked at the
Spout
Halos of oleander
Eyes dilated
***** sips on a gentle decay
The shades block out the day
The paper lanterns shine luminous
Rays of lavender
Across lips curvaceous
And rosy
Cooing at each other with limbs
Dripped in nectar
From a divine waterfall
Outside a window a
Nocturnal wanderer on the street
Of stone carrying a lantern to mourn
His widow home

This feeling that I'm a zombie
And my mind is burning down
It's like my cruise control is on
And I regret all I've become
Till I've turned my darkness into
Light
And all my sheets are bleached
White
Talking to myself when I'm alone
It's never quite enough I'm
Unconscious of all my blind-spots
I always feel like a restless one
When I've spoken all my cups
And I've dranken all my thoughts
Thinking about the past and
How it used to be
I still catch chills when I drive
Through the sleet and ice but
I smile anyway
Like a bruise that never heals
With more years under my feet
I've got this spark in the dark
And I'm not quitting what
I started though this life isn't
What I pictured-
Wasn't what I wanted it to be
No I'm not giving up I've
Got this spark in the dark
Destiny awaits to be defined
There are no set lines
It's all a state of mind