My most beautiful friend "Effy" just retired.
She was cute and oh so beautiful.
Been my friend of the very best type.
Travelled the country, close by side.
Seen something's, her eyes open wide.
Seen angels kiss me on the lips.
There all stored deep in her memory.
My friend "Effy", Now I lay you to rest dear friend.
Probably meet up now and then, spend a little time together.
Reminisce over what we miss.
You "Effy" will always have a spot in my heart x

I told her a while ago, "If you knew what I knew about me,
you'd hate me."
Well, maybe not hate. You wouldn't approve
because most people talk about ****** things
with lust in their eyes
or if they had a negative experience, they were *****
but for me, it's different, because
what I did
was built on a sandy platform of lies.
"I love you,"
"You're the only one I ever want to be with,"
She must have seen through it. She must have known.
She seemed so broken that night.
It was like everything she had hoped for
was there, and yet it wasn't really,
because it wasn't like she expected.
And months later, when I finally couldn't hold back my
mis-directed guilt, I glided past so-and-so's number
and called her up
and left her fourteen voicemails in a row, to apologize.
I cried on the phone and I'm glad she didn't pick up.
If I became Mother Theresa,
and saved the lives of millions of children,
or gave my life serving,
or made a billion peoples' day every day,
I couldn't repay for the pain I caused her.
I have dedicated my life to Christ,
because of that one girl that I broke, offered her a chance
at her first crush and it was a false chance,
so I will pay every day and be a sun, see if
I can change things around for you, and you, and you
and make sure I never do any more harm.
I will strive and serve and become someone who could not,
("no, not her, she couldn't have!")
have hurt someone like I hurt her that night.
Last year at camp, the pained looks she gave me when I told
that fireside story, or when I sang to the guitar, or when I hung out
with my friends, couldn't possibly have hurt more.
And I can't even grasp how seeing me there hurt her.
No matter what I do,
It will never be enough.

Oh the flame in your eyes
That engulfs me,
That I can't help
But get lost in
Enlivens me
The brisk wind comes
Whistling past my ear
Yet all I hear is your
Velvety voice
Whispering a promise
Of forever

There is not enough time
To be anything other than yourself.
I wish I had known...
It should always be this easy.
It should always feel this good.

I never looked at things like maybe your mom does
Like, 'I've been in love with this man for twenty years
and he doesn't want me any more'
until a few days ago. And then I realized
maybe that's why your sister has such a fixation on gender
because what a man should be
is different from what he's been
so she wants him to go back to what he should have been,
and maybe, that's why you aren't touchy-feely
or comfortable with affection, because
you haven't seen it, because the past ten years
your parents haven't been expressing love
and maybe that's why you feel uncomfortable with overt displays
or even unvert displays
and maybe that's why you don't know how to love.

Honey, if you let me, I'll show you.

An illumination of wrinkles, pasted, splurged and multi-coloured.
Creeping out,from under the light at the end of the lane.
Filling the cracks of yesterday, left swollen with visible concrete.
Furrows brim within a mask of lies, in a covenant.
Hereby designed, disguising, only the flying of time.
Your face is still beautiful, your eyes still  to drown in ,so lovely.
A well of experience framed in an attitude, once drowned by buckets of tears.
(C) LIVVI