grey clouds bursting stark,
volcano
ash exploding
crawling
drowning
amber measures of coal black
lungs
back aching,
carrying newborn mornings.

A broken home
A shattered family
A drifting soul
I'm lost in the journey

The shifting
The changing
The non-balance
I'm focused on the solution

My answer
My resolution
My damnation
I'm just waiting on Fate

Threaten my sanity
Rip my skin
Do what you please
I wont give in

The bullets don't scare me
Your words won't mar me
Yes, I'm terrified
But I won't leave yet

Tests like these must be passed
I've lived through worse
I can't be broken
And I'll be back

I'm addicted to the thrill
The pain, I can deal
Adrenaline is my drug
I'm a ******, I'm a ****

Let me be who I am
Stab my pleasure but let me breathe
Your blade is soft, quite welcoming
The blood, I've seen

I've tasted the end
I've created Armageddon
Chaos is practically my name
Fear is my life

I am prepared for this fight
Psychotically ready for the abuse
If I lose, All is well
I live for the roulette

You think I'll be like you
You believe that I'll fall like you did
Well, You're wrong
I'll never be you
I'll never waste myself as you have

All those times you thought you helped
You were wrong
I clean up after you
I do damage control
You're only in my way

No matter how hard I try
I won't ever forget you
I'll never let you go
I gave you my heart
You ripped it apart
You couldn't care less
I have honestly tried to release you
I've tried to forget
But you were my first love
My first truth
My first devotion
You cheated me
You ruined me
You traded me in for something newer
Someone better
And though I have found another
My own someone better
I'll still keep you within my mind
And you'll still haunt my heart

I love the way your scent lingers
On my skin
And on my clothes

I love the way your taste
Intoxicates me
And heals me

I love the way your skin
Feels on mine
And warms me

I love they way
You breathe
You live
And you think
I love you

Let my lust overtake me
Let my sins forsake me
Let my anger erode me
Let my joy escape me

May this void replace me
May this addiction erase me
May this trust evade me
May this truth awaken me

I'll give in to the battle
I'll surrender my weapons
I'll open the floodgates
I'll learn these lessons

What if I were to ask you to be my infinity?
My always?
Would that be too much?
Would you say yes?
What if I were to ask you to be my future?
My success?
What if?