All this emptiness I feel,
I'm just trying to reciprocate it on the outside,
I wanna show you its real.
I just want to waste away,
Its becoming too hard to face every new day,
But there are no more words left to say,
None that I know of that would help me beg you to stay,
I'm here at the end of my rope,
You caused so much fray,
With all those games with my heart you played,
Never did you think I would no longer be okay,
For mercy, for solace; I most constantly pray.

Surrounded by dozen of eyes,
I take a look around trying to trade a smile,
Haven't made a connection in a while,
But you ain't looking at my face,
Just my curvature and size.
And when we speak I hear sincerity in your tone,
But I guess all that goes through your head is how you could make me moan.
My past, present, and future don't mean anything to you,
I'm just another girl you'd like to disappear after you *****.
But you're charming; you make me laugh and you could make me cry,
I have very few rules; some of with which I hope you can comply.

Yet, why is tonight so hard to sleep alone?
Here I am again picking up my phone,
Just trying to hear a voice; another's tone,
I no longer wish to feel dead inside, another living drone.

But I'm just drunk and stupid,
I feel so pathetic and useless.
I wish for a life much better than this,
But I like to **** it up with yet another tryst...

And every now and again,
I forget where I've come from,
Where I've been,
What paths I've traveled and choices I've made;
I'm starting to see a trend.

And we all get lost walking through this mess,
We lose focus, direction, drive, and all the important things we should address,
But there really is something I must confess;
There's a certain trait in my genes that I do not possess,
Tis the feeling of being loved, and how to love,
I know only how to give the most sensual caress,
As an object of desire, I'm a most powerful seductress,
But I still am very far from being my best.

Even while I talk to the handsome gent at the bar,
I can't make a connection, my mind is somewhere else very far,
Dreaming about warm summer nights under the stars,
Telling stories about how I got all these scars,
Talking about hopes and dreams,
Driving fancy cars,
Acting like ourselves, who we really are.

But I guess face value is what we're all about,
It's not what on the inside, but what's on the out that really counts,
Only looking at eachother skin deep,
Going to the grave with secrets unshared,
The promises made to ourselves we never could keep,
Or never getting to feel what it was like to be swept off your feet.

It's a shame things have boiled down to this,
And it seems no one really does miss,
Getting to know people all the way down to the soul,
We've become so heartless,
Trading it in for the feeling of being bold,
And even basic human company is being sold,
But I'm just a hypocrite with a story waiting to be told,
Even as you watch me grind on this pole,
I really do wish to share with you my heart of gold.

I just dont know how we got to judging people by these petty little things;
I hate first impressions, I'm not perfect; I'd much rather be interesting.

I wish I could actually sleep through the night;
But drinks can't even help me win this comatose fight,
I wish I could sleep a full 8 hours right,
But I barely get 3 without someone here by my side.
I can't even admit what's really wrong with my life,
Can't admit how much I'd rather be somebody's wife.

Staring at an empty white ceiling,
I beg and plead to my demons to stop this feeling,
I can't help what I keep dreaming;
Another's face is all I keep seeing,
But I really should just stop this grieving.

And again I'm looking forward to this day's end,
Always finishing off with the company of a friend,
Pretending conversation is all I need for this heart to mend,
And no longer will I have to pretend,
That I'm strong enough alone to stand for myself and defend.

The nights feel colder than they did months ago,
The sun feels dimmer like someone turned the brightness to low.
I feel so off balance walking these streets solitary,
And this heavy heart is becoming too heavy to carry,
I'd like to rip it out of my chest,
Give this emotional brain of mine a rest,
Maybe someday I can wake again looking my best,
I'm only looking for love strong and true,
For this I always will attest.

In my time of need,
I sat in the middle of chaos,
I begged and I pleaded,
For someone to rescue me, and be by my side,
So badly I needed someone with whom to confide,
All courage aside,
At that moment I didn't need my pride.
But no one came to save me,
I thought it could be my lucky day,
Just maybe,
But reality is I've always been alone, baby.
And now I know,
I don't wanna be alone no more,
My aching heart couldn't feel any more sore,
There's this pain I can't pinpoint, stinging all the way to my core.
But even as a poet,
I'm so lost for words,
So lost looking for someone that I don't even know it.
I'll keep waiting for someone to walk my way,
Someone to be my hero,
Someone to always save the day,
Someone to make sure I'm always okay.
But until my time has come,
I'll move forward, and look back at where I've come from,
What things good and bad I have done,
Why sometimes did I put first having fun.
When again my life flashes before my eyes,
Just barely will I have survived,
I'll be so thankful to have you by my side,
And I'll always have your back,
Together our ribs will collide.

I just want these tears to stop spilling down my face,
I wish I could speak rationally, and with sincere grace,
But I have not yet earned my place,
My past; I keep hidden,
No one will I let see the seriousness of its disgrace.
And I wonder,
Why do I do this to myself,
I guess some things I just can't help.
But yet I still feel so alone,
My smile has vanished,
Even when I speak,
I feel regret in my tone.
These emotions scare me more than death,
To speak how I really feel,
I wont waste my breathe.
How many more times will I break?
I guess I'll pick up these pieces yet again,
Resewing this broken heart back together;
I wonder why I'm starting to run out of thread.

I'm so hung up on you,
I jus' dont know what to do,
So I jus' lay back and throw back a few,
Hoping I'll meet somebody new,
Hoping they'll make me forget about you,
But, to myself, I gotta be true;
I jus' dont think there really ain't nobody like you.

I ******' owe you my life,
I think I owe it to be yo wife,
I would give up this knife,
Jus' to be part of yo life.

I'd sail seas to see ya smile,
Cuz I know you haven't met somebody like me in a while,
And I would travel as far as the Nile,
Jus' to win your heart,
But I dont even think I could,
Cuz mine is so vile.
**** it;
If I could have anything; it wouldn't be money,
It'd be you.

**** this fake family,
This "freedom",
I'd give it all up for you.
And for you,
I'd be honest and true,
You need somethin' baby,
I'd get it for ya,
I dont even need a que.

But I guess I need to throw back a few,
And fix these things of mine I got asque,
Wishing there was somebody as incredible as you;
And to fix this mess; I wish there was somethin' I could do.

I'm addicted to your body baby,
I flock like a moth to a flame,
I ain't the kind of girl who's easy to tame,
But I wish I had a good reason to blame,
Why lately I gotta be acting this way.
I ain't no player,
I never wanna betray ya,
But these feelings I got for ya,
I couldn't even start to explain to ya.
You're the weakness in my knees,
I wish I could have ya baby,
I would beg and please,
You're my kriptonite,
But why we only gotta meet on the darkest of nights,
Skin to skin,
And then again we start to fight,
Walking in and out of each others' life,
I wish we could make this something darlin',
But it just doesn't feel right.
And I know,
You really ain't no good for me anymore,
Gonna keep gettin' burnt,
If when we keep meeting the first thing we always do is take off our shirts.
Then again we go our separate paths,
Always doing wrong things behind eachothers' backs,
Wondering why again at eachother we always snap.
But I think it's really time to end this here,
Even know I think we always knew the end was near,
I can't let you hurt me no more, my dear,
I think this point I'm tryin' to put across has been very clear,
And I know it's a rough life alone out there,
But all along I know you never really cared.