They say don't judge a book by its cover,
But we out there everyday tryin' to pick us the right lover.
Basing chemistry on looks,
When we should taking in mind those are just a hook.
Curvy waists don't mean you cant discriminate,
The ink in my skin don't mean I'm a rebel,
That I was born to sin,
Value ain't based on personal stats,
I'm a good person beneath these scars and tats.
An honest heart ain't appreciated anymore,
How did we get to judging people by their credit score.
I just cant take this anymore,
If you cant like me for who I am,
Well then there's the door,
I cant be the only one who keeps the promises they swore.

Tonight, yet again,
I just cannot sleep,
I hurt so bad,
So much; I can't even weep.
Control over you is something so hard to keep,
But *******,
This time,
I went too deep.
You're so beautiful; so thick and red,
All I see is memories of us in my head,
How every time we meet,
Is a time I always dread,
But our secret is one I have never spread,
And no goodbyes were ever really said.
But you're no good for me anymore,
You always leave me a mess,
Lying lifeless on the floor,
The choices I made with you were always poor,
But you raise the hairs on my skin,
And yet, every morning I always turn out sore.
You're just an old flame I can't seem to shake,
No more of my time will you take,
This decision is one I wish I was strong enough to make,
But, for now,
My hatred for you is something I will have to fake.

I ******* hate how much I fell for you,
How much I wish for this to be love, and to be true,
Even though we just met,
You came straight out of the blue,
And I hate how these emotions are still so new,
How many times I've felt this happy, have been so few.
I drink only to forget how foolish I've been,
Or how gullible I was way back when,
But now I'm a lost soul,
No longer the person I was back then.
But I still leave my heart out here on the line,
Just wasting my days, fishing,
Wondering when will come my time,
When will I finally feel like my soul can shine,
I'm falling apart,
Just waiting for a sign,
Pretending everything is just fine.
Dipping my toes into this water,
I think of how you already have a family,
Such a beautiful daughter,
And how so many women are so irresponsible,
Their own children they slaughter.
How much I wish to have one of my own,
But that's just a dream,
One that I cannot chase,
For there's no one that wants to be my mate,
So why even bother?

Staring at this glossy lake,
I think of how little I have left at stake,
I think I'll go for a swim, a little dip I will take,
But to come back out, is a promise I can't make.

No one can love me,
I'm a deaf, dumb, and blind ******* fool,
I cant chase any dreams,
Or even finish school.
And to myself; I am the most cruel,
I'm so ******* stupid and stubborn,
No brighter than a mule.
I'm a ******* wreck,
There is no cleaning up this mess,
And I'm scared of these problems I should adress,
I'm afraid of another ones' caress.
Even in my brightest moments, I only see the flaws,
These manic episodes that flood my head,
I don't ever really know what brings them on,
I wish I knew the cause.
No one can save this soul,
It takes timeless effort, someone fearless and bold,
I wish to fix my heart of gold,
I yearn,
To earn love;
And for mine not to be sold.
But nothing comes easy,
Most intentions these days are just ******.
And maybe I deserve all this pain,
Think of all the scars I could gain,
Who am I kidding,
I just sound insane,
But to fulfill this fantasy,
How could I refrain?

No more procrastinating this life away,
Tomorrow I will start fresh, on this sunny new day,
No more can I just sit in sorrow and pray,
In this rut, I will no longer stay.
There's always so much more behind this smile,
Thing's haven't sailed smooth in quite a while.
So I'll try putting my life back together,
No longer can I blame procrastination on the weather,
Won't think about how difficult it will be; this endeavor,
And ties to the people who continue to hurt me; I will sever

I'm now heading into this darkness,
Alone yet again,
No one around to walk with me,
No family or friends,
And it would be a perfectly acceptable night for my life to end.
I'll show them whose tough,
With this winning smile; I'm fully **** out of luck,
And in this haze, I am stuck.
Pain inflicted, ***** induced manic takes control,
A feeling I wouldnt wish on any godforsaken soul.
Drunk on this pain,
Everything I do; always in vain,
More nightmares,
And countless scars do I gain.
These demons never loosen their control,
On my body, my heart, does it take its toll.
Another sip I take,
As I sit here wrecked;
I'm only begining to break,
Nothing more left at stake,
No more smiles can I fake,
But theres worst mistakes I could make,
But no better day I could chose not to wake.

Your soul is far more beautiful than mine,
You've got more miles on your heart,
This must be fate,
I'm so very lucky to have met you at this time.
You're too honest for this world,
And to I; you're too kind,
Don't fight back against the facts,
It seems as though you don't follow the most traveled path,
But there is nothing you lack,
And if you'll let me;
I promise to always have your back.

And like the rain that comes down every now and then,
Emotions I did not know I could feel flood my head,
It's no wonder I can't sleep through the night alone in this bed,
And when in the morning I leave, tis the very time of day that I dred.

I crave your body like a bloodthirsty wolf,
And I'll accept this new found hunger; my judgement it will engulf,
But this broken heart of mine would be much too difficult to mend,
And this wavering depression is a bit to high maintenance to tend,
My baggage is ample,
And I learned long ago that to feel happy; I no longer can pretend.

So if you're feeling up to the task,
Inspired to see what's behind this mask,
The payout is well worth it,
In my bountiful love you may bask.