I'm wandering like a lost soul,
And as the sun sets, I feel so very cold.
I feel as though I've never been here before,
My feet are tired from walking so very far,
And my eyes have been open too long,
I'm so very sore.
I must look like a mess,
Even in my favorite shoes and dress,
I only came to impress.
Our conversations felt so estranged,
I feel so wrecked,
My heart feels so manged,
And in such little time,
So much has changed.
I'll leave you two at peace,
My attention is no longer needed,
My existence, to you; has ceased.
I run from you,
Closer and closer to the edge,
No more prepared could I be to face death;
But then I awake in a panic,
Trying so hard to catch my breathe.
Clutching my covers for dear life,
I search in this scattered mess for my knife,
I need to end this panic,
I don't want to again become manic,
It's so very hard not to indulge this impulse,
This urge feels so titanic.
Metaphorically; my life is a joke,
Even in the mornings when I wake,
I cant breath,
I cant see,
On my own breathe; I choke.
I'm so scared of being alone,
I'll risk anything to keep my heart strong as stone,
But your kindness chills me all the way to the bone,
The thought of your body on mine makes me moan,
A slave to my depression, no longer will I be prone.

My head still just doesnt feel quite right,
Yet I dont think its from all those drinks last night,
I'm starting to think its from hearing your voice in my ear,
Your words of encourgement made everything seem so clear.

But I'm choking on my own pride,
Thinking how times may change,
I should just go with the flow
Dont fight back against this emotional tide,
For life is an adventure,
And you gotta be brave to stay on this ride,
But I'm so tired of waiting for this pain to subside,
In your arms, is the only place I can confide.

So, I will try to drown my sorrows,
Think about how you cared,
The affection you gave; felt so borrowed,
Like you were saving it for someone different,
Your thoughts not with me,
But somewhere distant.

And now looking back on all of this,
Thinking if I was just a fun little tryst,
But,
I know even though I'm an emotional wreck,
I'm someone who deserves so much more,
I'm someone you'll definately miss.

This pain is so hard to bear,
I'm a man of my word,
I make no promises I can't swear.
And as I lay on this floor,
I think of what could have been,
What the future could hold,
How it could hold so much more.
But I'm locking this door,
No more can you come knocking,
Making me feel any more sore,
And I'll get my fix,
So long I've been waiting to score.
This pain I feel inside,
Hope, I will,
Soon subside,
Until, again, my ribs may collide,
With another,
I hope to find, inside your arms,
I will confide,
Until then,
All I can say is I tried,
But no lies did I tell,
It's the thought of you that brings tears in my eyes,

Silient, but deadly,
Here in this big empty bed, I lie,
I dwell in sorrow,
And I cant help but cry.
When the day is at its end,
And I'm trying to sleep,
I close my eyes,
I've become good at pretend.
And only then,
My thoughts finally become clear,
And I have courage.
Judgement;
I, for now, no longer fear.
In my dreams I'm made of stone,
I can finally reign on my emotions,
Perched atop a ****** throne.
But my king is nothing more than an arrogant fool,
He knows not how to treat a queen,
He's so selfish and cruel.
And even there in my prison,
I feel so free,
With chains on my wrists,
Blood dripping onto this marble tile,
I feel so at peace,
I could always stay there awhile,
But I must go,
Back to reality,
A place most hostile.

And after the storm has cleared,
My smile is present not only in the mirror,
I see an open road in sight,
I'm so close,
And it's so very near.
And on this beautiful day,
I can't comprehend my mood,
It just seems to constantly sway.
But things seem to be going better,
I no longer get caught so easily in these storms,
Pay too much thought into the weather.
So I'll keep my chin held high,
And dream about the day I will touch the sky,
No more tears,
Or cowering in fear,
The future looks bright, for I.

Staring at the lights before us,
Dark temptation sets in.
It's just you and me, my friend,
Sitting in this car,
Alone on this cliff, listening to nothing but wind.
Hateful words carved into my brain,
Stinging like poison,
Soaking in like a bad stain.
Your silver glow is so addicting,
It's been so long,
I feel us reminiscing.
All worries aside,
It's our love for each other I have to hide.
When others come my way,
You want to, but you cannot, stay.
You bring a smile to my face,
I don't care how right it felt,
I just wanted a taste.
Back to staring at the world,
Up here, you and me, all alone,
I have no place to call my home,
Angry, scared, and lonely,
Everything happened so fast,
I wish to end this pain,
These tears,
I try and resist my foot hitting the gas.

Happiness is so deceiving,
Hope is an illusion,
This feels so sinful,
Everyone feels so ******.

Love is a curse,
Infecting your body like some disease.
Causing panic in our hearts,
Begging for this loneliness to stop,
Always cowering on our knees.

I wish to rid this ache I feel,
My love was taken,
Never earned, never given,
Seemed so easy to steal.

You crawled your way into my head,
Sleepless nights,
Tossing and turning alone in this bed.
I cannot forget your smile,
What felt so right,
Now feels so pathetic and vile.

In this room, full of many,
I couldn't help but feel alone.
Laughing and good times were had,
But I couldn't ignore my gloom.

Horrible thoughts run through my mind,
Even when someone asks
"do you have the time?"
I feel the urge to wreak havoc,
I feel the urge to ****,
But that will have to wait,
For only when we're alone,
Can there be blood to spill.

I'm so sick of being numb,
So tired of feeling used,
I always feel so dumb.

I want to run away from this hectic mess,
I want to see endlessness,
I want to see the stars,
Feel the wind in my hair,
I want to feel your kiss on my breathe.