If I could find the time to sit down and think about the day I kissed you in my bedroom as you touched my jagged cuts and tried to look me in the eyes, I wouldn't. Because when I lay down and my mind starts to wander, sometimes I think about you and what we could have been, and what I wanted us to be, and what we aren't now. There's no we, it's just. Me. And. You.. You. And. I. Strangers with a glimpse into each other's past lives, but nothing more.
I tell myself that's all you were to me, a boy with a heart and a head fighting demons, but never winning. You were nothing to me, that's a lie. You were everything to me and I hate it. I hate you, another lie. I never could.
You had my heart, said you'd keep it safe
But sometimes you'd let it out to play, and little did I know that my heart would shatter in the hands of the person who kept me whole.
You said your love for me would never cease, and if it wasn't for me you couldn't persist, and I tried to remind you of your feelings for us, but I guess the bottle treated you better.
And it's okay now, I'm trying my best. To forget that my efforts were meaningless. Because this time around I can try again with a person that's not like you, and a lover that's not like me. And if I ever learn how to hold my heart in my own two hands, maybe my efforts for him won't be in vain.