bluevelvet

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Untitled

Critical observation.
Blink of an eye,
You'll miss it.
But you promised you'd do it,
Hang it up and let it be seen
Behind your shoulder after every bye
And have you put more pictures up?
Kinds that out radiate ones with
Actual sun in them?
But you told me you'd play that song
If you haven't so I'd know
You said you would finish the song
When you know you found the one
And 144 months isn't just this past month
North and south,
South and north
You're up and down and I wonder
Should I still be holding on?
I did hurt you,
I did break your trust in me
But you hurt me too
Maybe, somehow.

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Dust

The lacrimal caruncle
swells with blistering feeling,
flooding out the medial canthus.
It streams down the nasion,
dancing over the pinken,
inflamed to a roaring raw cheek.
Landing on dirtied and tore cloth,
used with the moisture to wipe
all the dust away from every memory,
even when it's possibly too late.

Now there is hardly anything
to be discovered in all of this.
You have done a decent job,
your hands are tired from it all.
Weak and brittle,
you still know now.
You know it could go every single way wrong,
it could be a waste of time,
it could hurt you beyond any kind of repair.

But you know.
You know it's him.
You know it will always be him.
It will always be him
that you wish to lay beside,
it will always be him
that you want to feel,
it will always be him
that you feel everywhere you go.
It will always be him.

And no one else.

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Synchronicity

It's like coming up for air,
The first time in a decade
And I've felt heartbreak
When he said to not go down
That it was a black hole
And can you feel it?
Can you feel the way it comes together?

Maybe I need to learn the tricks of putting a toothbrush down my throat
Maybe I have a war in my mind and I'm crazy
Maybe I think I'm not enough sometimes
Maybe I ruin everything with the things I have said

But if this is it,
If there is nothing left,
If you didn't tell every person you met that obviously liked you that you were already getting married,
It will be greater than thousands of black holes
Rushing through my body

But I'll always be there for you.

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Untitled

I am nibbling on this bait,
Fast with the possible date with fate
But I remember those days
And it's a pastime game
If it kills me it'd still be like never knowing,
Dead inside just the same
Nothing ever added up,
But you remembered everything
And now it's enough

Now you're all I can seem to remember,
You're all I'll seem to love and want.

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Forever

Red crimson sparkles
On the shattered glass
Dashed on hot summer pavement

You never asked for this,
You never meant to hurt so bad
And you're looking back and forth,
Side to side
There isn't much left to go

You've broken too many hearts and
Too many promises
And the crimson,
It's dripping from your sleeve

Steel gleams with His light
And maybe one day
Your eyes will wash away this blood
Because he made a promise
And he's the only friend you'll ever want

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Thoughts For Toby

You come and you go,
You leave yourself so peacefully
And I had a sun once
A sun that I let burn out
I had a way once
A way that was lost
In the never ending maze
And I never understood
How you could have felt that
I never thought I was
Worth keeping those promises
So I forgot them,
I had forgotten your silly faces
And the pictures we took
I forgot the ham
And the way you bent
To align with my sight
I forgot how you sang to me
And the way you always
Had the time for me
And so I moved on
I let go and found something else
Something that I thought
Was completely right
And you had been there all along
And this maze,
This cryptic riddle is near the end
Because this is the end for me
I was missing something
And I could never put my finger on it
And when I saw you,
I felt something that felt funny and familiar
And it may be too late,
I'm always too late
But I hope you know
I hope you can feel this
Feel how I would spend my life
Reaching for suns to put on your back
To memorize every face you make,
And every line old age would break,
I will listen to you sing and
Always wish that it was still for me,
And I will enjoy anything,
Even sandwiches, because...
I had the chance to know you
I had the chance to mean something to you
I had the chance to view your world
And now you will always
Have my love,
Even if it's no longer returned
You have broken and shaped
My life to a mere plot of
One of your favorite movies
And no matter the outcome,
No matter if it kills me or not,
I would never change a thing

bluevelvet Jun 2017

Untitled

A cardboard box
In the shape
Of a wounded heart

Duct taped
At the bottom,
Too much to carry,
Weathered weary

Once packed
To the brim of another,
Now emptied and filled
With the remnants
Of a faded lover

She cries while
Taping the top down,
A mournful sound
Heard by no one around

It's karma at it's finest,
She was mean and now
Is out of reach for his truest