open your car door,
light up a cigarette
i say there’s something special
about cigarettes, but I don’t know what
unbuckle seatbelt
you tell me it’s the way you
are prolonging a suicide
it’s like the world is watching you
jump off a bridge,
but not do anything about it
because the fall is slow
i laugh and don’t say anything

leaving your house at 3 am
you tell me not to die
because the roads are bad
and I can barely drive
I snap at you and say
don’t tell me not to die
tell me you hope
it’s instant

on top of a parking garage
my feet almost froze
and i looked at you
and thought to myself
that you are the type of person
i would write poems about not
being able to write poems about
and i wanted to go home
but decided to stay

you did not kiss me goodbye
but, neither did I
unbuckle seatbelt
you asked if i wanted another cigarette
i shook my head and left
you pulled out of the driveway
i hope it’s instant

In the prime of my youth
I'm already tired of this world
it's battles and loneliness
Yet buried deep within
is a hope I hide from crashing waves
and howling winds of passing pains
A hope undulled by lessons learnt
and fingers burnt
I shelter a candle of endless patience
Beneath my armour of dissapointed youth

I wait for more
A hand to hold
A world to explore
A life to mould

On the verge of my twenties
And I feel quite empty
Although perhaps that is best to think-
I am an empty page, inviting the splash of ink

There's a certain kind of magic-
in the surging of the streets,
pounding tired feet,
children squealing,
prams wheeling,
a tide unquelled by grey sky
a sparkle in the dull hope of a scratchcard owners eye

this is the city exhaling fumes
and inhaling dreams

Hello sadness my old foe
An unwelcome face I’ve come to know
Walking through walls I built so high
With bricks of feathers, but the will to try
You crush my caged bird of steely resolve
And with it’s flightless wings does my hope dissolve
A haunting shadow present day and night
Whispering Give up the fight, give up the fight
But you come and go; a regrettable guest
Soon, I will degrade you to a whimsical test.
My body is my temple, and my mind shall rule-
Only those guests who never leave,
-dreams, memories, friends as thick as thieves
Will have a final say in the way of my life-
I will never let you win this wretched strife.

I awoke today startled;
my hair had turned gray.
I had wasted my whole life away,
hoping for better days.
The air around me tastes bitter,
the coffee too black,
the cup is wavering in my hands,
ready to collapse.

I awoke today after a horrid dream;
I can't quite seem to recall.
But i know that I must wake up today
Before my inevitable fall.

I saw you today.

As you sat with half
of your face facing
away from me,
I prayed you would look at me.

You didn't then,
but you met me at the staircase,
laughed,
and disappeared from the landing.

I saw you today.

And I don't remember
much of anything else.

I hear some music
muffled away
in the dark
evening sky.

And I get the feeling
that I want to
love more
than hate.