You know I will never believe you
          “Then I’ll just make you believe me”
I will only be able to hate you when you break my heart
          “Well, I’ll just have to make sure I never do”
But you will, so until then
You better make getting hurt worthwhile

I never wanted you to save me !
I was far beyond salvation before you were even a concept within my existence
No
I merely longed for someone to love me without me having to dread an inevitable doom
For them to graze their fingers across the most decimated fragments of my being without flinching

Turn off the lights
This way it shall not matter
Whether you decide to close your eyes
Or keep them open
Let the dark disassemble your sanity
As your pupils dilate to let in this vague abyss
Do you find comfort in the embrace of nothingness
Or does it leave you gasping for air
As your claustrophobia wails for the comfort of another
Does the pressure of this unknown
Cause you distress
Or can you be content with the knowledge
That you may not be alone
When you turn off the lights
You hand over all the responsibilities
You possessed in the harsh fluorescent of day
When you turn off the lights
No longer must you debate with your eyelids
To convince them that they must flutter
When you turn off the lights
The color of your eyes takes on no hue
And results in a concept that no longer matters
For when you turn off the lights
How certain can you be
Without the confirmation of responding illumination
That you truly blink at all

I can feel you trace the curvature of my spine with your eyes
Your pupils burn scorching holes into my ******* and my thighs
I can sense your desire on your breath and in your sighs
As long as you’re just watching and not touching then I guess that it’s fine
Though at night in the dark I’ll hold tightly my keys
Just in case it’s you in the bushes not just the rustle of leaves
Even though you’ve done nothing that only offers you reprieve
For in the world of the animals the predators hunt to eat

do we not see that we are blind
hear how deaf we are
no patience or time to sign on the dotted line
yet still reaching for the golden star

can we not take the things we see
off of the spinning wheel
set the colors in need this side of free
giving them time to heal

let the character of a man
speak up for itself
where the blind and deaf can completely understand
the cost of what this is all about

needing to break down societies boxes
that over the years they've put us in
dearly has that cost us
where not a soul can be who they're meant

we need to take a moment
step back from the edge and breathe
where the deaf can hear the crying
and the blind can finally see

As the eldest daughter, I will have you know
That when we stare at you with a blank face it’s so that we don’t overflow
We take a long deep breath and a moment to smooth out our expressions
So that on our younger siblings, we don’t leave any bad impressions
It’s common place to conceal these emotions that emerge from our darker side
We tell ourselves we’re not hurt just angry and in a moment we’ll be fine
It’s not like we were taught that to feel is to be weak
Or that no one really cares to listen when any of us speaks
The only thing that seems to matter is sitting pretty with a smile
But being the eldest daughter tends to leave you brain dead after a little while

I am from swimming pools as chlorine stings your eyes
But just trust in your lungs and to the bottom you’ll dive
I am from Converse and Levi’s with the knees worn right through
Sneakers laced tight and jeans patched up too
The staircases and tile paint a portrait of home
Dark wood, ancient trees, a foundation of bone
Wood violets and dropping willow hold my sighs in their leaves
Beware of the hemlock for needles hold a poison if consumed then is deadly
Crushed chrysanthemums for my eyes and a daisy chain as a crown
I am from the far rolling hills and the thrill of tumbling down
Here is where my family has planted their roots
We bring blood from across the oceans but west coast salt coats our boots

Oí! we exclaim but myself most of all
Jump and I’ll catch you, we don’t let each other fall
I am from quotes written about strength and notes scrawled on margins
Shooting star wishes and law enforcement jargon
A streak of blue in my veins to represent those they’ve protected
From canines and motorcycles so different yet connected
Though my future looks different, I was taught to take charge
Be a leader, not a sheep, stand up tall and go far

I am from butterflies and book spines and words scattered like dust
For within there’s a snake charmer but not a snake there is just
A pen filled with ink to spill letters like wine
But few know the melodies these hands craft in the hopes of creating the sublime
Don’t be fooled though so quickly for just as pen triumphs over sword
Slanted penmanship does not mean I lack ability to pluck out a fine chord
Ivory keys beneath fingertips and metallic strings pressed down taunt
Let out rich, vibrant crescendos just as I was taught
As the crescendo increases so to does my voice
Speak up, do what’s right, make Mum and Dad proud with your choice

I am from leaps of faith though I believe in no god up above
A bird is just a bird not an angel sent dove
Scientific hypothesis hold their positions in mind
X cubed, coefficients, and a cotangent graphed line
Rationality and facts, think with your head not your heart
Sarcasm, however, with every sentence I’ll start

You’ve asked where I’ve come from and I’ve done what’s my best
To show to you what I’m from is not simple but quite a large mess
From the sun in my hair to the flowers on the ground
I am from everlasting yet shifting, from silence with sound