I'm scared,

Scared that I'll go off the deep end.

Scared that I'll do something I regret.

Scared that I'll hurt the ones I love.

But life....

Life is hard right now.

Life is definitely not on my side at the moment.

I have so much stress

Way too much for a highschool student.

So yeah,

I'm scared,

And this time my friends are too.

I get it.

You've known her longer.

Been friends longer.

And I'm just a passing phase.

Just a play thing.

Something to get your mind off of her.

I get it.

But it hurts.

It hurts to know that I'll never be yours.

And you mine.

It hurts that she's my bestfriend.

Who hides nothing from me.

And surely didn't hide this.

I see the looks you give her.

The ones you don't give me.

I see the lingering touches.

So yeah I get it.

Just don't break her heart like you broke mine.

It creeps up on my like a monster in the dead of night.

Sharp claws ready to puncture my skin.

Giant mouth ready to devour my soul.

Piercing eyes to see my every secret.

Ears to hear all of my fears.

It knows that I'm afraid.

It knows that I'm alone.

Vulnerable.

And it waits.

Until the tears start to flow and the sobs tear my throat.

And then it strikes.

Filling my head with lies it creates to make my head swim.

Telling me that I would be better off dead.

And worst of all,

I begin to believe it.

I begin to succumb to wanting to die.

And I let this monster take over my mind.

Until I only have one option.

Death.