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Blair Schwartz Nov 2012
never show you love them, girl
never show you care
for in that instance girl beware
they'll leave within a heartbeat
change the tables
change their mind
leave before attachment
leave before they break your heart
because it was never theirs to start with.
Blair Schwartz Nov 2012
can't you see it?
the
      wonderful life we have?
water
          seems to be coming for us.
is
    this really all there is to life?
up
     up, up, we go into the sky
to
     the heavens and above. you're
my
        fix, my drug, my escape. as you hug my
waist.
          I don't know how to feel without you.
please,
            don't leave me alone.
don't
         leave me without you to hold.
let
     me in. I'll let
me
      you see me clearly. you don't have to hide. you don't have to watch me
drown.
Blair Schwartz Nov 2012
It feels like the water is just up to my knees.
I think I can handle it,
that I can stop the leak before it envelops me completely.
I don’t want to slip.
I want to slip.
I’m sick of being sick.

I can hear their encouraging voices in my head,
saying stay strong.
Don’t give in.
You’re stronger than this,
you know you are.
You don’t need it.

But,
I don’t know how strong I really am right now.
It would be so easy,
so terribly easy to stretch my arm out,
pick up my phone
and
tap my finger on a contact.

It’s always so much more difficult
to build your world back up
than
it is to tear it down.

I can’t pretend it isn’t hard,
one day at a time shouldn’t be so hard to keep going,
right?

I ignore call
after call,
after call.
It’s as if they know I’m struggling.
That they know I want it.

Just one more,
one more time.
Will one really turn into two?
Will three really turn into five?
I want it,
so badly.
I’m sorry.
Blair Schwartz Apr 2012
Your little girl,
     Her eyes so keen
Follow you into your dreams

Her little voice,
     Your violent choice
Change her life forever

When will you,
     Stop popping those pills
As she watches, crying in a corner

When will she,
     Be free of you
And the baggage that you carry
Blair Schwartz Dec 2011
She was walking,
    letting her feet carry her somewhere else.
Somewhere away from the place she had
     called her home for almost all of the life.
She was clearing her mind,
     running away.

The itching in her wrists
     started to return again as she walked.
She glanced down at the white scars that lined her forearms,
     all self-inflicted,
     all because she was weak.

She had hurt so many people.
The boy whose name
     she didn't want to remember.
The same boy that loved her
     even when she didn't love him in return.
He wasn't the reason
     she was running.
That was completely unrelated.
She left because of how
     she felt in that house.
How lonely she always was
     how she felt every time she heard
     her mother crashing around,
    being gone for over a month.
How stressed her father always was.
How she never saw her brother anymore.

Her feet reached the edge of the bridge
     and she got up and walked on the railing
     on the side of the bridge.
It was wide enough for both of her feet to stay
     together in one place.
The cars were rushing down below,
     far enough that she knew that if she fell
     the ground would **** her upon impact.
She was tempted to jump,
     but the danger was just enough to make
     the itching in her wrists subside.
She stretched both her arms out
     a small gust of wind hit.
In that moment,
     she felt free.
Blair Schwartz Dec 2011
She
she’s a wreck
she’s a mess
did that ever stop her?
she’s someone you can have for the day
then she’s gone for the night.
never hold her close,
she'll be gone before you know it
never put your leash on her
because then she'll chew right through it
she'll meet you head on
if you have the ***** to challenge
get her to care
and she'll follow you until the end
Blair Schwartz Dec 2011
There was a picture of you on the internet
     I saw it yesterday
With the lighting almost perfect
     your face covered in clay
Your hair still dark brown
Your eyes still as green
But somehow you look different
    like a broken dream
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