I was a man with hollow eyes,
Reaching for light but buried inside,
You held me close, warm in your glow,
But how could I give what I didn’t know?

You saw the good, I saw the gray,
You called me love, I turned away,
Afraid to show the scars I keep,
Afraid that love was more than deep.

You made me feel, if only brief,
That I could be more, find some relief.
In your arms, the shadows stilled,
But alone they grew, unfilled.

How can I love you, when I don’t even try
To love the man who hides behind my eyes?
When all I feel is lost and wrong,
When all I breathe is shadowed song?

You loved a shell, a fragile thing,
A heart too broken to let you in.
Now I sit alone, torn and blue—
How could I love you, when I don’t know how to love me too?

How do I let you leave
When you've seen me naked
By naked I don't mean my clothes stripped off
Of my scarred flesh
I mean when my smile was disrobed
My tears were unveiled,
I mean when my screams were haunting
Our demised house
And my claw scrapes all over our scarlet walls.

I mean when my bloodhound self
Was wild with madness of grief,
And when everyone abandoned me
Just because I was a bit human.
You saw me naked.

You saw my orbs turn to the color of night,
You saw my lips fade to the color of daffodils.
You saw my body covered with fresh stamps of silent howls,
You saw my body torn wide with black flowers blooming out.
You have seen me naked
In my white clothes which are now soaked red.

Only you can wash out the tint which is permanent,
So tell me, how do I let you leave?
When you've seen me all stripped off.

You there, in the shadows deep,
A soul adrift, in the silence you keep.
Your presence whispers, a ghostly hue,
Lost in the crowd, unnoticed, it's true.

You long for connection, a hand to hold,
But the world rushes by, cold and bold.
In the solitude of your quiet despair,
you're longing, your silent prayer.

Your silence speaks volumes, louder than words,
Echoing loneliness, like distant birds.
But hear me now, in this quiet refrain,
I see you, I feel you, I share your pain.

So hold on tight, dear soul, don't fear,
For I am here, always near.
In the depths of your despair, it's true,
I haven't forgotten you, and I never will do

I am still heavily in love with you. I have tried with every fiber of my being to move on and to let go, but you are still everything to me. You are my vessel. You have crawled inside my ribcage and made a home within me. My heart doesn’t beat the same without you. I'm in so much pain. Everything reminds me of you much more than it did when we were in a relationship. I miss you so much. I don't have the energy to talk with anyone else. I want you. I need you. Only you. I don't think I'll be able to find anyone else even if they're better in some way. I've looked at your photos these few days more than I ever have before. You're so beautiful. I can't stop smiling when I look at you and I feel like annoying you and teasing you. All I want is to be with you, to touch you, to feel you, to hug you tight, to see you smile, to just be happy together. I don't know how long I can survive without you like this. I can't live without you.

These words are not enough.

The way that I miss you tears a hole in me. It feels like an entire section of my existence is gone. I feel an infinite sadness with your absence.

I can say over and over again that I miss you but it doesn't begin to cover the gist of it.

I spiral. I wonder if you miss me. I wonder if you think about me. I wonder if you want me there. I wonder if I creep into your thoughts throughout the day. I go down this rabbit hole repeatedly.

Do you miss me?

I miss you so much it hurts. I feel alone. I can't get out of this spiral. I don't miss the thought of you. I don't miss the idea of you. I don't miss my interpretation of you.

I miss YOU.

I'm in a room full of people, and not one of them is you. You are the only person I can think about. How are you? Have you eaten? Did you sleep?

I'm here to admit that you gave me peace. The night we met changed my life forever. The moment I looked into your eyes was the day I realized I wanted you in my life. You gave me the love and company no one ever seemed to give me. I was the type to never let someone see right through me, until you. You were the only person to get a chance to meet the real me. Thank you for never once judging me and accepting me for who I am. I've never felt alone when I was with you. Watching you go has been the hardest thing to feel. I'm lost without you. I hope that in the next life, we'll be together forever. Just for now, I'll be staring at the moon in hopes you're looking right at me too. You look so beautiful amongst the stars.

I love you.

​

I never told you, but you saved me. When I met you, I was at the lowest point of my life. I felt invisible, insignificant. And then you came into my life with your energy, your laughter, and that way of making everyone around you feel special. You were the first person in a long time who truly saw me, who cared about me beyond the surface. I don’t know if you ever realized how much you meant to me. Maybe for you, it was just another friendship, something temporary. But for me, you were everything. You gave me reasons to smile when I thought I had none left. You showed me that life had more to offer, and that it was worth continuing. I still think about you, and it hurts that we drifted apart. I never told you, but thank you. Really, thank you for everything.