Hey, it's been a while since we last talked, and I know that you don't want to talk to me, or hear from me, at all. You are right, I would hate me too.

I know that I made it seem like I never cared about you, or like your absence had no effect on me, but I think of you everyday, and I long to talk to you everyday. At this point, I think that I'm only okay when I'm busy. I'm really sorry for everything I've done. I care about you, enormously. I love you still. I know that there's nothing I could say to make it better, so I say nothing.

I wish I could talk to you, and see how you're doing. How life has been treating you. But I know that I would only hinder your healing and make you sad. I don't want to make you sad again. I don't want to see your teary eyes ever again.

You were my angel. You have touched my soul in a way that no one ever did before. And I will forever live with your memory.

I felt you cut our soul tie. Or at least actively disengage. You're no longer with me in the back of my mind. I still think of you, although it's different now. It's disappointing and hard to accept, but I respect your choice.

I'm not devastated that you're choosing to forget I exist. I don't see myself as part of a whole, as a fraction of a person because I miss you. You won't catch me crying into my pillow for you to come back. Don't misunderstand, I love you. But I love myself more. And so I'm not heartbroken. I'm just... sad.

I won't ever be over you. I won't ever be over us. If things ever change, I hope you reach out. We're both keen on burning bridges as masochistic self destruction. There are no embers here. The bridge still stands. You have an open invitation to cross it. But I'm not waiting for you.

It's going to be fine.

Stay strong, eat well and keep working out.

Keep loving those who love you.

You may feel like you're falling apart, but you're a phoenix that rises from the ashes and flies higher than ever.

Don't give up. Keep yourself going. You can do this.

It's not easy, but good things don't come easy. They never do. That's what is so satisfying about them.

Keep fighting and everything will work out.

Just don't give up.

everyday that passes i feel like i miss you more than every day prior. i miss you to death.

to death.

until i die?

until you die?

is it till death do we part?

i don’t understand this expression but i also feel like i understand it all too well.

this feeling is very strange.

i miss you so much i feel like i could die? what could that possibly mean?

it means that when i miss u i feel like my soul is

trying to escape, just to get to you

and its leaving my body.

like my heart wants to stop beating

because it is angry at me for taking the rest of my

body away from yours.

that or it beats harder and more painfully.

beating so loudly in attempt to let you hear it

screaming for yours.

even when i’m sleeping my skin feels the weight of your absence.

when my mind wanders it wanders to you.

my whole being is trying to escape to you.

when my ears hear music, when my eyes see art.

you.

if you never write back to me dramatically.

if i never see you again,

if i never hear from you,

smell you

touch you

taste you

i will die, simply, having missed you to death.

Missing you is like playing a guitar.
It’s tucked close to my chest,
folded in my arms and pressed against my heart.

I play the strings in a soft melody,
barely thinking as the sound fills the room.
I’m trying to recreate the way you made me feel,
but nothing compares to the moment
when you first kissed me.
Nothing compares to the rainy daydreams you filled my head with
when you first smiled at me.

I can say missing you is like feeling empty,
or a rainy day,
but missing you is like playing a guitar
because it feels so right for me.
I never deserved you,
and my guitar doesn't deserve to be heavy,
nostalgia singing to the strings.
So missing you will feel like playing guitar
just so it doesn't hurt as much.

I want to rip my chest open and force feed you my beating heart.

I want you to see it.

I want you to feel the the rush of the warm red blood on your face.

I want you to feel how mangled I am. I want you to see the damage. The emptiness...? No. I want you to see the carnage.

Maybe then you would understand.

When you ask me

"How are you doing?"

I quietly stitch myself back up, and smile back at you. 'I'm alright, and you?'

Both of our souls are dead.

I saw you with him and still smiled,
I was in pain and spoke to you and felt alive,
Every moment i spent with you was a mixed feeling ,
And yet all i wanted was to be with you,
To make you smile and laugh,
And then it felt like I could do anything for you,
I just wanted you to be happy
Even if it meant not with me
And then you asked me for the ultimate sacrifice
To let you go even as a friend
And here I am, still wanting you to be happy
Whatever it means