everyday that passes i feel like i miss you more than every day prior. i miss you to death.

to death.

until i die?

until you die?

is it till death do we part?

i don’t understand this expression but i also feel like i understand it all too well.

this feeling is very strange.

i miss you so much i feel like i could die? what could that possibly mean?

it means that when i miss u i feel like my soul is

trying to escape, just to get to you

and its leaving my body.

like my heart wants to stop beating

because it is angry at me for taking the rest of my

body away from yours.

that or it beats harder and more painfully.

beating so loudly in attempt to let you hear it

screaming for yours.

even when i’m sleeping my skin feels the weight of your absence.

when my mind wanders it wanders to you.

my whole being is trying to escape to you.

when my ears hear music, when my eyes see art.

you.

if you never write back to me dramatically.

if i never see you again,

if i never hear from you,

smell you

touch you

taste you

i will die, simply, having missed you to death.

Missing you is like playing a guitar.
It’s tucked close to my chest,
folded in my arms and pressed against my heart.

I play the strings in a soft melody,
barely thinking as the sound fills the room.
I’m trying to recreate the way you made me feel,
but nothing compares to the moment
when you first kissed me.
Nothing compares to the rainy daydreams you filled my head with
when you first smiled at me.

I can say missing you is like feeling empty,
or a rainy day,
but missing you is like playing a guitar
because it feels so right for me.
I never deserved you,
and my guitar doesn't deserve to be heavy,
nostalgia singing to the strings.
So missing you will feel like playing guitar
just so it doesn't hurt as much.

I want to rip my chest open and force feed you my beating heart.

I want you to see it.

I want you to feel the the rush of the warm red blood on your face.

I want you to feel how mangled I am. I want you to see the damage. The emptiness...? No. I want you to see the carnage.

Maybe then you would understand.

When you ask me

"How are you doing?"

I quietly stitch myself back up, and smile back at you. 'I'm alright, and you?'

Both of our souls are dead.

I saw you with him and still smiled,
I was in pain and spoke to you and felt alive,
Every moment i spent with you was a mixed feeling ,
And yet all i wanted was to be with you,
To make you smile and laugh,
And then it felt like I could do anything for you,
I just wanted you to be happy
Even if it meant not with me
And then you asked me for the ultimate sacrifice
To let you go even as a friend
And here I am, still wanting you to be happy
Whatever it means

I want you
Not only the pretty you
Not only the beautiful you
I want all of you
Your imperfections that you care
Those scars of the past that you hide
All those dreams you want to share
And all the tears that you fight

I want you
Not for today not for tomorrow
I want you to be forever
So we could share our happiness and also sorrow

The you, now maybe confused
The you, now maybe scared
The you now may be traumatized
The you now maybe facing some unknown fear
And for that may be ,reason is me

Want to be together but not only in happiness
Want you beside me , holding hands also in your sadness
Want to wrap my arms around you , so you can heal by my side
So close that you can feel my love and nervousness I hide

Let's paint our own , a beautiful love story
With the paints of love and colours so bright
That will never stop just like a ocean tide.
It may sound crazy now or even impossible
But believe me
On this path of life with me
Because we have so much to do, remember

Let’s get wrapped up, deep sensual chemistry,
Going swimming in loves waters you see,
Adding fire, making steam,
Plucking our senses like guitar strings,
Vulnerabilities resonating,
After caring, proper, attentive tunings,
I want to ******* like my pen makes love to this page,
Like spirits speak to a sage,
Like passion in fury,
Like the rawness of rage,
Like birds set free from a cage,
I want to unleash myself unto you,
Like I want to unleash myself unto myself, unto the universe,
Finding just what it means to do justice to life’s mysteries,
The must have’s and must be’s,
The must do’s and must see’s,
The must touch and must breathes,
Like the ****** of the universe, the almighty Big Bang,
I want to begin, again, and again, and again.
With you.

And perhaps we will meet again

in another lifetime.

But for now, I will wallow in the pain

that which your absence has caused.

Your absence feels cold

but that’s okay.

I will wrap myself in a blanket

of memories of you,

to try and mimic the warmth

that you once gave me.

You didn’t mean to leave,

and that’s okay.

For the coldness of your absence

is a reminder of how warmly

you loved in this lifetime.