I thought I knew you
I thought you are to me
I thought I had it good
I thought it meant to be.

But these are just thoughts
Assumed and imagined fantasies
In reality, it smears
of heartaches, done quite painfully.

As I ponder, thoughts unraveling
I ***** to seek the pain and sought
Who you'd become, seize gentle meaning
of a love to lose, losing and lost.

(February 06, 2003)

Something awash my strengths,
an eerie feeling of coldness...
I couldn't stop the pain,
it overwhelms me...

Stripped of my rights
I stood still...

Stunned, hurt and confused,
and just floating...

Reality strikes like a whip
and it does -
It kills.

**Sometimes when realization struck us, we feel helpless. Why? Because it would sink into your mind that no matter what, no matter how you try to make things better, it just wouldn't...and that alone hurts.

I've fought endlessly
I fight to no end
I **** mercilessly
To eternity I send
I failed but I won
My life I devour.