We may be broken...
But we're healing!
And that's what counts.

Breakdown after breakdown.
Oh god how I miss you.
How I miss what life use to be.
Back when I had him as my bestfriend.
Back when our family felt whole.
Back when I had love and happiness in my life.
I constantly find myself having random break downs.
Because I miss my friends.
I miss him.
I miss myself.
But he is gone.
I am still here hidden somewhere in here.
Until then I still have my friends.
I may be 1000 miles away.
Yet we are only a phone call apart.
My friends will keep me sane.
Keep me happy and smiling.
Make sure I feel loved until I can do that myself.
Because they're not my friends.
They're my family.
They're my brothers and sisters.
The only people I know I can count on in my lowest points.
In all my breakdowns, I miss them dearly.
Though I know they're still there.
And that's how I get through.
My family may feel broken.
But we will make it.
Because we may have chosen to enter one another's lives...
We now know we will never choose to leave it.

I wish and I wish
For you and I
For our paths to cross once again
Because I wish
I wish I could have been everything you needed
I wish our love was powerful enough to last
Or perhaps start again
I wish and I wish
For dreams that most likely will never come true.

I spend half my year 1000miles away from home.
And in this moment...
No emotion beats how much I miss my family.
My friends.
My life.
Even just my bed.

I want to go back

The ocean reminds me of emotions.
Crashing in.
Fading out.
Sometimes fast and overpowering.
Sometimes slow and gentle.
Others a constant stream of the same thing pouring in and back out for endless amounts at a time.

I've finally accepted reality.
There's no getting over you.
There will not be one second from the moment I started,
To the day I am no more,
That I will stop loving you.
I know that are time is through.
That I can't even think of your name without feeling as though I'm dying.
But there's no point in trying anymore.
I will never be over you.
Though I am starting to learn how to live my life again...
Knowing that a giant part of me loves what I can never again have.