Why can't I get this feeling out of my head.
Anytime somebody brings it up,
Children,
Pregnancy,
Miscarriage.
The feeling comes back.
The empty feeling throughout all of me.
The crushing feeling on my heart.
The pounding in my head.
The all over urge to crawl in bed and never leave.
I felt the life of my child evaporate from me.
As hard as I try...
I just can't forget it.
This is the worst pain I've ever felt.
And it never goes away.
It just fades out from time to time.

I miss you so much.
Please come back to me.

I saw you sitting there.
Sitting on that park bench.
With your long board pressed against your knee.
I remember getting out of the van,
Running over to where I could see you.
I was so excited I was practically bouncing.
Though at the same time...
I never before had felt that amount of happiness.
Being near you, has never made me feel happier.
Every time I'm around you that happiness just grows.
Everyday, I see you.
Hear your voice.
I've never felt a greater happiness.
A single person has never made me happier.
You're my happy place.
Just thinking of all those moments with you.
No matter how long its been since they've occurred.
I can't help but smile.

I believe in many different things.
I believe there's a chance all myths could be true.
All stories could have happened.
I've seen enough to know there's miracles in the world.
So I always keep an open mind.
The idea of soul mates intrigued me.
I always wished for it to be true.
True that there's one person on this earth who you'll never love more.
Never know better.
But I was wary of it.
Never wanting to think about it enough that I convince myself that it exist or doesn't.
And then he came along.
Even before I actually knew him..
He stuck out to me.
Though it wasn't until months after we became friends that I realized.
Realized he was that one kid I could never get out of my head.
It had nothing to do with attraction.
He was just a random, nameless person.
But I couldn't forget him.
Once we were friends.
I fell hard.
Nobody understood,or cared for me like him.
I'd never known somebody so well.
I learned everything about him.
He knew just as much about me.
We became each others other halves.
Spent all our time at each others side.
Because that's where we felt the best.
The happiest.
I fell in a deeper love than ever thought possible.
Which is what I believe a soul mate does for you.
It's somebody who you love the most.
Know the best.
Nobody will ever trump that.
It doesn't have to be the person you're with.
Your husband or boyfriend.
You could never meet them.
It's simply just the one person in the world,
Who is your other half.
The person who makes you feel whole.

How does one sit there living in normalcy.
Once the heartbreak is over.
And you're no longer living in the love story of a lifetime.
A love story filled with dark minds and never ending friendship.
Where the commoner boy spends months comforting the princess.
Secretly winning her heart over.
Where they become bestfriends.
Become each other's entire worlds.
But don't believe they could make it work.
Don't believe because they live different lives.
Though get to a point where neither can deny it.
They've been in love with each other since the beginning.
All they want is each other.
So they find a way.
They make it work.
They are happy and in love.
They spend all of their moments together.
They have a stronger love than anyone could ever imagine.
But things happen.
It ends.
They end.
They were still happy.
They were still in love.
But they couldn't make it work.
Her dark mind,
Her depression and desire to die became too strong.
She snapped and he couldn't help her.
He struggled with his own darkness.
They began to conflict.
Their worlds were becoming to different to combine.
It was too hard to be together.
So it ended.
Their friendship soon after began to close too.
Their love begins to fade out.
Sometimes you find the one...
Find your soulmate.
The one who you know better than yourself.
Love more than you could ever imagine possible.
Yet circumstances cause it to end.
It has nothing to do with your love.
It's just not the right time.
So the love story ends.
It comes to a close.
Once the heartbreak is over.
You have to learn to live a normal life again.
A life without each other.

Why is it that the one person who I want to hold me...
Hold me in the moments that I want to die.
Is the same person that makes me want to die.
Want to die because I can't have him holding me.
It's irony at its best.

I never knew how lucky I was.
Lucky to be in love.
In a relationship with not just somebody who loved me.
But someone who was also my bestfriend.
Now here I am.
You're still my bestfriend.
I'm still in love with you.
But we're not together.
So I'm just constantly craving to hear it.
Yearning for you to say those three words again.
Desperate to hear you tell me
"I Love You"
I never knew how lucky I was.
Lucky to hear you tell me that.
For the person I love to show love back to me.
Now I'm constantly just desperate...
Desperate to not just know.
But to hear that you love me.
Desperate to hear such simple words.
It's like I'm starved for it.
Sometimes it's all I can think about.
All I want.
Is a simple...
"I Love You"