partially hidden
fervent moonlit escapade
being navigates

A decent man in this world alone
DrIfting, dreaming about going home
Disappeared years ago, down the road
Mental illness, carried heavy load

Wandering daily from town to state
A handyman for hunger to slate
This man in it's grip, the devils brew
Loveless traveler no goals, no clue

Well trodden shoes worn to a shred
Shabby garments hanging like lead
No coat, no bag, had nothing left
His numbed out mind wholly bereft

An upstanding man once clean shaven
Matted hair and beard, no offered haven
To hunger and thirst in this sad way
Calculated risk leaving that day

To acknowledge failure, too **** proud
Never to return he boldly vowed
His people and love, no mail, no call
Family wondering if he lives at all

Lifes loneliest soul, filled with self hate
Reshaping existence, now too late
Loved ones lost an incredible man
Need to pray and move on, if they can

I'm home alone start feeling strange
It's my heart or a trick of my brain
Sweating, shaking, can't catch my breath
Heart pounding, squeezing, is this my death

Got up to walk and fell right down
A dizzy blackout, I came around
Got back to the couch my toes were stiff
Arms hurt and were hard to lift

Could this really be my fate
Dialed 911 before it was too late
Talked to the operator and tried to rest
If panicking to breathe deep is best

She assured me they were on their way
What and ending to a normal day
I hear the wailing drawing nearer
My situation couldn't be clearer

The pros pulled up the nosy neighbors spied
With all the fuss you'd think I died
Checking me over, heart is intact
Suffered a severe panic attack

Their magic bus swept me away
The results, I'll live another day
For panic on several pills
Plenty of pharmaceutical refills

Surviving beneath bypass
Cardboard ripping, some spyglass
Thin covering, protection
Sharpening knife, perfection

Past life professional man
Bad karma, God, dealt sad hand
Panhandling corner right here
Homemade sign makes purpose clear

People ignoring, glower
Certainly love hot shower
Having nothing accept rags
Don't own anything, no bags

Eating something, drugging, *****
What's needed most cannot choose
Spent long hot days begging cash
Got *****, finished dining trash

Trodded back to cardboard home
Peeking out feeling all alone

Summer's still here, it's nearing fall
Worldwide excitement, it's FOOTBALL!
This season starts the fans are wild
Time for the game, the players are riled

All in orange, tailgating before
Manning takes field, the crowd they roar
Toss the coin, we will receive
Want ball at half, won't deceive

They punt real high just watch it soar
Takes a knee, the twenty, no more
The blazing sun, outside it's hot
Cold beer and dogs, the fans they bought

The first pass is incomplete
Groans from throng and stomping feet
The second play, under control
Our running back finds a huge hole
First down their forty yard line
Thus far we are doing fine

The ball snaps and Peyton drops back
Four man rush, he's down for the sack
One more pass it's intercepted
To the fans this is unexpected

Out comes the opposing team
What's this, for Manning they scream
It's Eli in his red, white and blue
This is too much, you feel it too
Brothers face off in a game
Greatness is all in the name

Both teams run, tackle, hit hard and pass
Tied game, seconds left, do we come in last The field goal squad must do their best
Prader lines up, misses all in jest

            OVERTIME :-)

Black widow spider spins web
Emanating silk strands
Grand plan in tiny head
Starts working at nightfall
The morning sun reflects
glory of her creation

The illuminati , a secret society
Gain wealth, power and notoriety
Sold soul to the devil for promised riches
Many well known, his *******
Overtime, accidental glitches

Secret is out due to young generation
The up and coming population
To catch the famous throwing up signs
Subliminal message, invades our minds
Television, campaigns...there's all kinds

The power in the hands, you will never believe
Throughout past ages the sickness breeds
Many preach peace from the devils dark
side
Lennon, Dr. King, Malcolm all died

Are Gods followers keen to the onset tide?

With greed an power the dark one temps the meek
Those that turn, are submissive and weak
A few famous names in powerful places
Obama, kennedys ....won there races
Washington, Lincoln....two old faces
All above, in this secret society
Makes you ponder their priority

One famous man that held great power
Warned of illuminati ...Dwight D Eisenhower

If you hate rap music you should give it a listen
Little Wayne, JZ - surprised what your missin
The Commander and Chief is given wide berth
This society is strong on this earth

If you think I'm crazy, which you surely will Google it....Youtube it......you'll get your fill

snow shoe challenge
trekking untouched expanse
cracking beneath


rock climbing boots
eyeing open summit
crevaase shifts


lifetime chances
snowbound slide buries all
expanse untouched

He **** in my dreams
I am sound asleep
or at least I think I am
I feel his hated dark presence
as he appears in the night air above me
An indescribable face
Horns, razor teeth and the eyes
Eyes of the dead and the pits of hell
He pins me down with the strength
of all his summoned demons
He mounts me with his lizard like limbs
And clawed, slender fingered hands
Cold as dry ice
His foul breath of a billion deaths
encompass me
I start to scream
Scream prayers I remember as
an innocent child
His hard, crooked, thin member
entering and poisoning me
I scream but no one hears
It must be a dream

There was an ole lady and an ole man
Each sippin coffee from a can
The two sat in their rockin chair
Breathin in the fresh mornin air

They both had a full day ahead
She started the yeast for some bread
His suspenders hiked up his pants
Wandered out to gaze at his plants

She deftly swept the dirt floor clean
He announced, she always looked mean
The ole lady sat to churn the butter
Ole man pretended to fix the shutter

Hardy ole gal got to smokin the pig
He drove to town in his ancient rig
While she hung the laundered sheets on the line
He pulled up to his still, it was runnin fine

It was time for her to rustle up some grub
Tipsy ole guy gave his neck a good rub
She fried them up some hogback and beans
He sat the table, perfect by no means

At last they sat down to commence to chew Forgot their choppers like they sometimes do
After they dined on their scrumptious fare
They headed back to the rockin chair

The pair soaked their dogs in a separate pan
The little ole lady and the shrunken ole man
Couldn't think of a better end to a day
Than to rock, smoke and soak their cares away

I am an alcoholic
i used to smoke and drink
But now my drug of choice
is notebook paper and ink

I can't get enough
it goes right to my head
Keep my pen and pad
right next to my bed

I'm a ****** when
it comes to composition
Used to scratch tickets
another sad addiction

In the distant past
stocked up on bottles of *****
Now it's ink and paper
that I wisely choose

I love to scribble,
compose and formulate
Of my poetry I have
a jealous mate

I write at night
So as not to ignore him
But this is important
it's not jut a whim

When I'm out of paper or ink
I go thru withdrawl
An envelope, a sticky note
most anything to scrawl

Verse, rhyme, sonnet, rondeau
I really love it all
If I'm not careful I'll
Start penning on the wall

Try to write a poem daily
I need to get my fix
Limerick, Haiku it
doesn't matter the mix

It's an addiction
I can take and run
It helps inside
And is lots of fun

foxes tail held still
sniffing slyly for a meal
slips down blind crevice

exhausted mare foals
scenting oats hay leather wood
from hay loft girl spys

Glancing in glass, monster appears
Hidden was she for many years
My face distorts, double mirrors
Long lived self control, burried fears

Dealing with this all alone

Luscious burning ***** sliding down
Warmed thoughts and gut without a sound
The judging makes me tremble round
Numbness prevailed,wanted to be drowned

Where is family, my home

Remember this like yesterday
Cascading my life to decay
Withhold inclination this day
Keeping mirror-monster at bay

Practiced abstaining finely honed

A fat cat chased a tiny mouse
The mouse ran in his little house
House was a small hole in the wall
Waiting **** curled up in a ball

The sly Tom took a one eyed nap
The wise mouse avoided the trap
Soon the chubby cat fell asleep
Sneaky mouse gazed out for a peep

The rodent smelled the cheese on the floor
It was right by the kitchen door
The mouse dared come out one step
Nose sniffing the air, full of pep

Stepping lightly two, three, four
He readied himself to run for more
The mouse dashed, fast as he could go
The plump cat looked around, didn't know

The mouse got ahold of the crumb
Cat snoring again, what a ***
He tip toed around the big cat
And made it back home just like that

There was a goofy green frog, Eli was his name
He danced for Princess Malia, it's how he earned his fame
She adored sitting on her throne to watch him entertain
He boogied and did back flips, he loved this little game

Eli had a tiny frog house with eveything inside
A couch, love seat, TV, a bed was double wide
He kept it very tidy with a broom, vacuum and pride
His favorite was his Fry Daddy, for flies deep fat fried

Princess Malia, of course, had a castle on the hill
Waited on, hand and foot, she only had to chill
Wore gorgeous dresses and diamond tiaras at her will
But bored with her lavish life, Eli fit the bill

At 3:30 on the dot, the small frog danced everyday
The Princess got so excited, the help did hear her say
She got seated at 3 pm and that is where she'd stay
Right on time came Eli, grooving and twisting all the way

Eli entertained...and the Princess did demand
That the frog be introduced, then he kissed her royal hand
The two became fast friends, as quick as fast friends can
She moved his tiny house into the castle, that was grand

Eli and Malia were just as tight as they could be
The frog quit entertaining, a great playmate was he
The Princess, lonely no more, was perfect for he and she
They lived happily ever after, Eli danced for free

There I sat with a cast and black eye
Just got small children down for the night
Tim decided to take tots for a swim
"Over my dead body", I yelled at him

We discussed our views in loud voices
Continued to fight, made bad choices
Very soon Westminsters finest pulled up
Domestic situation, cops abrupt

Got both sides of story, mine in jest
Smart *** me, I was soon under arrest
Handcuffed, shoved into waiting squad car
Was ******-cussed at my treatment so far

"I want your badge number", I threatened the cop
Ill sue for false arrest, and no I won't stop
Assault and battery on who, on Tim?
Refused to put out cig, didn't touch him

Got booked, printed and a soggy sack lunch
Wore old lady ******, rode up in a bunch
In population still in cast with black eye
The word spread around that I battered a guy

I crutched my way across shiny jail floor
Eyes following me as if to implore
Came up on a woman, looked like a ****
Then she asked, "**** girl what's he look like?"

Got released next day, had court appearance
Plead not guilty with no interference
Set date for jury trial of my peers
Never been in court in all of my years

With public defender at defendants table
Jury looked at me as if I were unable
To batter, assault a serious offense
I was so small, this did not make much sense

I bravely testified on my own behalf
Brought up Tims prior abuse, hid a laugh
OBJECTION YOUR HONOR, spouted DA
Too late, the jury heard what I had to say

They filed out to deliberation space
Came back in fifteen, looked Tim in the face
The judge read the verdict, not guilty at all I was a free woman and skipped down the hall

Sunny day in June, the tenth to be exact
The horrible day my sister was attacked
Beth was in the house, her friend Mark outside
She was cleaning,he in the yard kept with pride

Beth Anne was on hands and knees scrubbing the floor
When she heard real gunshots, at least she swore
Snuck to the window and peered out with care
On the rocky driveway, saw Mark sprawled out there

Been shot three times in his back,lay in his blood
Beth saw her ex...with a .38 he stood
While terrified, behind the aquarium she ducked
Brad blundered in dressed in hunters camouflage- ****

Her heart hammering in her ears, bursts of short breaths
Saw him through the murky water, planning two deaths
Beth Anne cowered down praying to her dear Lord
He found her, pulled her up by the hair, fired once more

The bullet blew off her ear and traveled on down
Collapsed her lungs, in her blood she would drown
Brad disappeared and the firing just stopped
For Mexico he fled, red ranger with white top

Beth dragged herself the complete length of the rug
Called 911, shed been shot...head ringing from slug
She was determined to live, wouldn't give up the fight
But then she passed out endangering her plight

Came the Greeley police, fire trucks, EMT's
Assessed the situation, perp further he flees
They all worked on Mark, too late he was dead
One smart responder....woman shot in the head

They spreading out rushed the house, found my sis
Beth was unresponsive, victim almost missed
Speeding to Weld County General, sirens blaring
Got her in the ER cut off what she was wearing

O.R. She went with damage extensive
Not much hope, docs and staff apprehensive
For many hours they sawed, pinned, stitched and closed
The ICU threat of infection posed

Her body and face were unrecognizable
Family stood believing the impossible

Appeared an Adonis with blonde hair and blue eyes
Talk of afterlife evidently not lies
Her guardian angel told Beth he was there
Would appear much later, in death they would share

Hymalayan peak
called Makula the great black
peacock struts beauty

eighty pound baboon
enticing lover to swoon
bough snapping bafoon

There once was a man in Arvada
Who'd come all the way from Nevada
Wanted out of Vegas
Crook came to plague us
To Blackhawk for the whole enchilada

This chap had a thousand in his jeans
Like a cheap skate played nickel machines
He then put five cents in
Pulled bar back with a win
Cashed in, stuffed pockets bulging at seams

This gent was now sky high about life
Didn't care, left nine kids and a wife
Took chair to play Blackjack
Got chips, greased his hair back
The dealer sensed this fellow meant strife

The guy played, won, his streak unmarred
Counting Aces, kings, Queens, Jacks - every card
He raised some suspicion
From the owners position
They'd seen this before and come down hard

They escorted the cad out, such a pity
Got caught again, thought he was witty
So he drove far away
To the New Jersey bay
Was so close to Atlantic City

Trial of homelessness strikes close to my heart
It's s difficult to put down in part
My poor baby daughter a ghost on the street
For a bottle, a meal, she'd ***** men she'd meet

This is such a sad and dangerous way
To live a desperate life everyday
The hardest part was watching her die
Not the life I'd have chosen, wonder why?

She was a very hostile and hurtful drunk
True tough love on my part, how low I had sunk
Muscular Dystrophy was part of her plight
She saw only darkness, was too tired to fight

She seized even while downing her *****
Early scerosis, extended abuse
I cried for her at night, worried all day
She called from jail, detox and a hospital stay

I once had to search for her as Jane Doe
In a panic I found her, back out shed go
I felt so mad, sad and **** confused
My sarah was out there, with who I mused

Homeless are people with heart and soul
Whether they choose or not to live this role
I know from experience that this is true
Sarah is loving, giving.....caring too

She had cried to me that I loved her no more
I wrote her a poem to convince and implore
Her to live and I loved her, I swore

I read her that poem in her hospital bed
We both cried, she'd get help,she actually said
She's now a month sober, attending AA
Happily sarah has a safe place to stay
I pray to the Lord that she finds her way

I have got so much still
to flush from my soul
Indignation self hatred
angels they stole
Lifes blood removal
stands beyond my control
The world moves on
what is my role

Rehashing the steps
that led up to the past
Confusion denial
all happened too fast
Rearranging my thoughts
to unborn contrast
The world moves on
i reign in last

Sweet faces and hearts
the love given all mine
Trusting angels in place
how the sun did shine
Trials and tribulations
may have smoothed out fine
The world moves on
proof my decline

Final induction
to family this day
They are theirs completely
to secret away
Distance traveled each mile
my hopes decay
The world moves on
bleeding will stay

My soul flushes dark
it remains in my heart
My angels are gone
due to my doubting part
Past mending or fixing
it's too late too start
The world moves on
forever apart

A grandmas patience for three long years
No help from loved ones brought many fears
Kids happiness and well being, all mine
Unconditional love, caring and time

Hugs, fun, play and loving eachother
Working hard as father and mother
So many families in this sad trend
Addiction, neglect....the child can't fend

Made impossible decision to adopt
My age, mental illness....I had to stop
Heart break and tears through the long process
Patience with workers, under such stress
Took four long months to live with myself
Guilt, rage, hatred...counseling to help

Found a perfect family for the kids
A great mother and dad plus two new sibs
The transition was excruciating
Watching my angels change, while relating

After a short time, they made the move
Patience with grieving, never knowing what mood
The children are with the new family now
It's been five months, I've survived it somehow
Skype, drawings, video...pictures galore
My daily waiting, they're not mine anymore

Stepping into the grand chamber
Scent of polished wood and old justice
Taking place on a hard planked pew
Prepared to be admonished

All rise with respect due, the robe that takes the bench
Players present in majestic setting

Take the orange clad prisoners first
A little time to breathe,
wipe the sweat from my palms

My name is announced,
hope they can't see me quaking
Sentence is four points and an SR22
I despise court

What if the sky wasn't blue?
The ocean woulnt be reflecting true
What if brand new cars could fly?
We would have stoplights in the sky
What if our dogs did not bark?
It'd be a lot quieter in the dark

What if water was light green?
It would not seem so very clean
What if little boys were girls?
Why they would have long pretty curls

What if little girls were boys?
They would have trucks, Batman ,and muscle toys
What if cash grew on a tree?
Then everything in the world would be free
What if flaming fire was cold?
Then a lit charcoal briquet you could hold
What if , I ask what if once more?
I will always have an answer in store
What's your what if?

I can't be no more than three
To the circus, Barnum and Bailey
My blonde hair, a dress and big blue eyes
I am just as cute as I can be

My brother and sisters came too
My moms hands are full, what a zoo
Just so I won't get separated
Her soft, old brown coat I hold onto

The smells are all delicious here
Popcorn, cotton candy and good cheer
So many colors and sparkly things
I will get some later, it is clear

We take our seats I can barely see
On dads lap watching the menagerie
Elephants, lions, tigers and clowns!
So excited dad can hardly hold me

The music, drum beats and all the sound
The ladies on horseback ride around
The man on the trapeze soars very high
I'm sure he is miles up off the ground

We walk all the way up real big stairs
Past laughing people in their chairs
Hold onto that coat with all my might
I am having such fun, I have no cares

We bump and weave all thru the crowd
My mom and dad will be so proud
When I look up to see my mommys hair
It is grey! Wrong coat! I squeal aloud

Well I'll just have to find the car
Know they'll be there, it's not too far
The streets and parking lots are packed
I am lost and about to cry hard


I thought and searched and there it stood
My nice grandmas car, that's her hood
I waited for at least a year
Clown came by to help, he could

He took my hand in his huge glove
He dried my tears, thank God above
I missed my mom and dad....bad
Clown gave me ice cream filled with love

Over the loud speaker, announced my name
My frantic parents, on the run they came
Mom hugged me tight like she's never seen me
It was time to leave, what a **** shame

Where there is love there is life
Regardless of strife
Where there's desire there's a way
Where there is sun, a hopes ray
Love's present each day

Where there is hope there is light
Warmth lifts, renewed height
When we open our closed heart
When we search for a fresh start
Hope will find a way

Where there's kindness there is love
All greed, climb above
Where to give we do not dare
Where walls fall, naked bare
True kindness must stay

Where there is God there is fate
Surplus love, less hate
When His heart opened to give
When we may love Him and live
In the Lord I pray

Mistral streams from the sea
Gusts over uneven terrain
Zephyr carries with purpose on its journey
Draft whirls leaves from a neat pile
Blast ***** my hair in my eyes
Sally arches well rooted trees
Breeze makes a baby catch its breath
Air current sways a free floating kite
Surge rotates cyclone with malevolence
Squall powers voluminous sails
Flutter lands spinning trash at my feet
Tempest moves on and is gone