There I sat with a cast and black eye
Just got small children down for the night
Tim decided to take tots for a swim
"Over my dead body", I yelled at him

We discussed our views in loud voices
Continued to fight, made bad choices
Very soon Westminsters finest pulled up
Domestic situation, cops abrupt

Got both sides of story, mine in jest
Smart *** me, I was soon under arrest
Handcuffed, shoved into waiting squad car
Was ******-cussed at my treatment so far

"I want your badge number", I threatened the cop
Ill sue for false arrest, and no I won't stop
Assault and battery on who, on Tim?
Refused to put out cig, didn't touch him

Got booked, printed and a soggy sack lunch
Wore old lady ******, rode up in a bunch
In population still in cast with black eye
The word spread around that I battered a guy

I crutched my way across shiny jail floor
Eyes following me as if to implore
Came up on a woman, looked like a ****
Then she asked, "**** girl what's he look like?"

Got released next day, had court appearance
Plead not guilty with no interference
Set date for jury trial of my peers
Never been in court in all of my years

With public defender at defendants table
Jury looked at me as if I were unable
To batter, assault a serious offense
I was so small, this did not make much sense

I bravely testified on my own behalf
Brought up Tims prior abuse, hid a laugh
OBJECTION YOUR HONOR, spouted DA
Too late, the jury heard what I had to say

They filed out to deliberation space
Came back in fifteen, looked Tim in the face
The judge read the verdict, not guilty at all I was a free woman and skipped down the hall

I love you my child
I don't know how to help you
You continue to die your slow death
It's painful us both
To watch you killing yourself
To see you so all alone
To know you're living with demons
I curse the devil and his minions

I love you my child
To witness you convincing yourself
to give up and die
It kills me inside

I love you my child
I've always loved you and always will
I don't feel you are long for this earth
The deterioration has accelerated
The doctors give you one short year
I cry for the hurt in your heart
I cry for the torture in your soul
I cry because you think I don't love you

I love you my child
Don't give up and die
I ache at the idea of living without you
Please see a glimpse of the light
in my soul
Let it guide you to peace
I can't watch anymore
I can't see you do this to yourself

I love you my child
Don't die my sweet little girl
Don't leave me behind
Let's love eachother for the time
you have left
I love you more than mere words express
I love you more than my own life
Don't cry little one, for I am here

Trial of homelessness strikes close to my heart
It's s difficult to put down in part
My poor baby daughter a ghost on the street
For a bottle, a meal, she'd ***** men she'd meet

This is such a sad and dangerous way
To live a desperate life everyday
The hardest part was watching her die
Not the life I'd have chosen, wonder why?

She was a very hostile and hurtful drunk
True tough love on my part, how low I had sunk
Muscular Dystrophy was part of her plight
She saw only darkness, was too tired to fight

She seized even while downing her *****
Early scerosis, extended abuse
I cried for her at night, worried all day
She called from jail, detox and a hospital stay

I once had to search for her as Jane Doe
In a panic I found her, back out shed go
I felt so mad, sad and **** confused
My sarah was out there, with who I mused

Homeless are people with heart and soul
Whether they choose or not to live this role
I know from experience that this is true
Sarah is loving, giving.....caring too

She had cried to me that I loved her no more
I wrote her a poem to convince and implore
Her to live and I loved her, I swore

I read her that poem in her hospital bed
We both cried, she'd get help,she actually said
She's now a month sober, attending AA
Happily sarah has a safe place to stay
I pray to the Lord that she finds her way

Sunny day in June, the tenth to be exact
The horrible day my sister was attacked
Beth was in the house, her friend Mark outside
She was cleaning,he in the yard kept with pride

Beth Anne was on hands and knees scrubbing the floor
When she heard real gunshots, at least she swore
Snuck to the window and peered out with care
On the rocky driveway, saw Mark sprawled out there

Been shot three times in his back,lay in his blood
Beth saw her ex...with a .38 he stood
While terrified, behind the aquarium she ducked
Brad blundered in dressed in hunters camouflage- ****

Her heart hammering in her ears, bursts of short breaths
Saw him through the murky water, planning two deaths
Beth Anne cowered down praying to her dear Lord
He found her, pulled her up by the hair, fired once more

The bullet blew off her ear and traveled on down
Collapsed her lungs, in her blood she would drown
Brad disappeared and the firing just stopped
For Mexico he fled, red ranger with white top

Beth dragged herself the complete length of the rug
Called 911, shed been shot...head ringing from slug
She was determined to live, wouldn't give up the fight
But then she passed out endangering her plight

Came the Greeley police, fire trucks, EMT's
Assessed the situation, perp further he flees
They all worked on Mark, too late he was dead
One smart responder....woman shot in the head

They spreading out rushed the house, found my sis
Beth was unresponsive, victim almost missed
Speeding to Weld County General, sirens blaring
Got her in the ER cut off what she was wearing

O.R. She went with damage extensive
Not much hope, docs and staff apprehensive
For many hours they sawed, pinned, stitched and closed
The ICU threat of infection posed

Her body and face were unrecognizable
Family stood believing the impossible

Appeared an Adonis with blonde hair and blue eyes
Talk of afterlife evidently not lies
Her guardian angel told Beth he was there
Would appear much later, in death they would share

A grandmas patience for three long years
No help from loved ones brought many fears
Kids happiness and well being, all mine
Unconditional love, caring and time

Hugs, fun, play and loving eachother
Working hard as father and mother
So many families in this sad trend
Addiction, neglect....the child can't fend

Made impossible decision to adopt
My age, mental illness....I had to stop
Heart break and tears through the long process
Patience with workers, under such stress
Took four long months to live with myself
Guilt, rage, hatred...counseling to help

Found a perfect family for the kids
A great mother and dad plus two new sibs
The transition was excruciating
Watching my angels change, while relating

After a short time, they made the move
Patience with grieving, never knowing what mood
The children are with the new family now
It's been five months, I've survived it somehow
Skype, drawings, video...pictures galore
My daily waiting, they're not mine anymore

Stepping into the grand chamber
Scent of polished wood and old justice
Taking place on a hard planked pew
Prepared to be admonished

All rise with respect due, the robe that takes the bench
Players present in majestic setting

Take the orange clad prisoners first
A little time to breathe,
wipe the sweat from my palms

My name is announced,
hope they can't see me quaking
Sentence is four points and an SR22
I despise court

If you leave me ill truly be through
I'm teetering on the edge it's true
I have suffered great loss, as of late
Can't survive more torture or hate

I have hurt you beyond any repaIr
Deceit, half truths, you feel I don't care
Honesty is important to you
I was scared and knew not what to do

Please don't go with an untrusting soul
I would be lost in this world with no role
I've never trusted a man until you
It's breaking my shattered heart in two

You are such a kind, fair, loving man
Treat me like gold whenever you can
I always come first, when its tough on you
I don't treat you the same, I see that too

You think I'm using you, a free ride
So far from the truth, I need you to guide
Until you, I haven't loved a man
Abuse thwarted me, I don't know if I can

Talk about baggage I own it in scores
Don't give up now, salt in open sores
Give me a chance to absorb your love
Ill open my heart and trust God above