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Benjamin Dixon Aug 2015
Did you get cold feet
Did I suddenly seem like a bad idea
I know you said things were hectic
But wouldn't some extra support help?

It seems that this is a pattern
So much said over the phone
Guts spilled out in text messages
Skype and phone calls
And we are left with none to go through with it.

I wanted so bad to hold you
I was so close I could taste it
Is this my place and purpose?
Am I to be support from command
Not on the ground but in a tower?

It will be okay.
It hurts but I'm not hurt
I still want to be here for you
I feel no animosity; no regret
So come over and sit next to me
And let's watch another movie
Just feeling like the golden snitch slipped through my fingers, but it's still in sight and those pesky Griffendors haven't spotted it yet. GO SLYTHERIN.
Benjamin Dixon Jul 2015
This is what I am doing
what I've been doing
Why the insecurity
Why the walls
This is not me
I am above failure
For it is not failure to fail
But only to give up
This is not me
I do not fail
I must grow wings
I must fly to that precipice
And look down
For the world is not my oyster
But my kingdom
There is nowhere I can't go
Nothing I can't do
I push forward
I grow my wings
Afraid am I
Of flying to close to the sun.
Benjamin Dixon Jul 2015
If alcohol kills brain cells
Why can't it **** memories?
I ask this question of my glass
Though it is more of a prayer
Benjamin Dixon Jul 2015
The great tragedy of my life
Put in the simplest terms
There is a moment for each of you
The moment I feel I fell in love

Sometimes a moment of bravery
A brief feeling of permanent loss
Other times just the way you laughed
When all I could I expect were tears

Its not all that surprising
How could this not happen
Surrounded by such an amazing presence
Who were equally beautiful on the inside and the out.

But suppression is what I must practice
I already know the answers each would give
I'm a brother, a best friend,
A support which you don't want move

But I'm not angry, I'm not vindictive
True it hurts but I am not hurt
I'm not selfish enough to be so blind
That I don't understand my integral role

I am what you need me to be
And if this is all that you can see
If this is truly what you need of me
Then I will aspire to be the best I can be

I will be the best ear for you to pour into
To not just hear, but listen
To the sorrows, to the woes
And all of the I don't knows

I will endeavor to give the best advice
Even when you're stubborn dear
I'll do my best to be nice
But I will be quite blunt

I'll be the perfect shelter
So that when the world falls down
It will fall down around you
Instead of on top of you.

Yes this sounds like a love poem
But I suppose that is because it is

I love you just as you all love me
And I know that I am needed
But I won't ever be wanted like that
But I'm not sad cause two out of three ain't bad.
Benjamin Dixon Jul 2015
Oh how I've missed you
For so long I have felt a longing
A desire to hold your body close to mine
I lay my fingers on your vocal chords
And feel as they heat up at my touch
As I caress your long, slender neck.
I touch you in all the right places
And the music fills my ears
It's been a while so I'm rusty
But you let me know that it's fine
You're patient with me.
Slowly I find my footing again
Once again my hands remember
They know their way around you
My heart begins to race
The blood rushes and swirls
As you and I become one
Two souls intertwined beyond time and space
For but a moment I check my enthusiasm And worry about the volume
That the neighbors might hear
But as always you don't care
"Let them hear" you say
"Let the gods hear and be jealous"
And our voices meld to create song
And though our time apart has been long
Still you tempt me with experimentation
New melodies you inspire me to indulge
Undiscovered rhythms beckon to us
An hour passes like seconds
Sweat gathers on my chest and forehead
We reach a climactic ending for this music
I will remember that moment til I die
These are my thoughts, my sweet
As I take a long drag from this cigarette
You beckon me back to that playground
But darling, being the mere mortal I am,
I require rest after going a round with you
Rest assured, alluring goddess that you are,
I will return as my strength returns to me
And once more shall we shake this earth
Only to do it again and again
But for now let me rest Draculina
Take from me what sustenance you must
And enter my dreams, my love
Where always you are welcome.
Benjamin Dixon Jul 2015
They can't break me.
I will face each and every assault
as if standing knee deep in the surf
As a wave crashes against my body
trying to knock me down with full force
And I will remain standing
As the water drips off of me into the ocean
And evaporates into the air
The only effort I make
Is to brush the residual salt off my skin
And cast it to the winds.

— The End —